Two under 13 lads were raped by men they met on the popular dating app Grindr,

[arista]

https://liveblog.digitalimages.sky/lc-images-sky/lcimg-c22ec68d-942b-40f6-b5eb-adaed1d3bd44.png

[Glenn.]

When I used it you just had to put your date of birth in. No checks.

It’s not an app for 13yr olds

[UserSince2005]

parents need to be arrested

[Mystic Mock]

Parents need to be monitoring what sites their children are using imo.

There's only so much that a website can and should do in my view.

[Oliver_W]

I hope we're acknowledging that even when the boys "wanted" to meet up etc, it's still rape as children can't consent - as with when female teachers rape children.

[Cherie]

Grim..

[Beso]

Why were the boys vulnerable?

[MTVN]

Parents need to be monitoring what sites their children are using imo.

There's only so much that a website can and should do in my view.

13 year olds are independent and savvy enough to be doing things without their parents knowing

Websites really should be having adequate checks in place particularly on an app which is rife for abuse

[UserSince2005]

13 year olds are independent and savvy enough to be doing things without their parents knowing

Websites really should be having adequate checks in place particularly on an app which is rife for abuse

they are not 13, they are under 13. if your a parent and are letting you kids get ****ed by older men because you dont know/care where your child is then I think you need locking up.

[Livia]

I agree with those who've said the parents are also culpable.

[Mystic Mock]

I hope we're acknowledging that even when the boys "wanted" to meet up etc, it's still rape as children can't consent - as with when female teachers rape children.

I hope so as well.

[Mystic Mock]

they are not 13, they are under 13. if your a parent and are letting you kids get ****ed by older men because you dont know/care where your child is then I think you need locking up.

This is how I see it.

[user104658]

I mean it is a bit of both - I agree that in an ideal world all parents would be good/engaged/active parents and at least aware of something like this being a risk, but also, it edges a little close to "victim blaming" to focus too much on that, and not the fact that there are adult men on apps/online knowingly preying on teenagers - and that those people are the problem.

It's not a new problem of course or a gendered one - I remember what AOL/Yahoo chatrooms were like back when I was first using the internet as an teen in the the 90's and early 2000's. "Teen Chat" was absolutely FULL of adult blokes trying to groom kids. Absolutely lawless. People used to treat it like a game - "Bait a paedo" - basically getting them to say gross stuff/admit their age in private chats then posting the transcript to the main chatroom. Hilarious at the time - in hindsight obviously really grim.

My parents had no idea what the internet was like but, to be fair, there was more excuse back then - the internet was brand new. These days, any adult/parent should be well aware of the risks.

[Niamh.]

I mean it is a bit of both - I agree that in an ideal world all parents would be good/engaged/active parents and at least aware of something like this being a risk, but also, it edges a little close to "victim blaming" to focus too much on that, and not the fact that there are adult men on apps/online knowingly preying on teenagers - and that those people are the problem.

It's not a new problem of course or a gendered one - I remember what AOL/Yahoo chatrooms were like back when I was first using the internet as an teen in the the 90's and early 2000's. "Teen Chat" was absolutely FULL of adult blokes trying to groom kids. Absolutely lawless. People used to treat it like a game - "Bait a paedo" - basically getting them to say gross stuff/admit their age in private chats then posting the transcript to the main chatroom. Hilarious at the time - in hindsight obviously really grim.

My parents had no idea what the internet was like but, to be fair, there was more excuse back then - the internet was brand new. These days, any adult/parent should be well aware of the risks.

Yeah agree with this really, obviously parents should be keeping a close eye on their childs internet activity but the internet is just so accessible now, a 12/13 year old is likely to find ways if they want to. The only way of stopping that is be absolutely militant and never allow them go out with friends etc which is also not a good idea at that age. At that age they should be starting to get some independence. Unfortunately this is just a new thing that parents have to try to navigate and do their best with

[Oliver_W]

To add to the parents issue - sexualised behaviour in children is possibly indicative of sexual abuse, from a safeguarding perspective. And actively seeking out sex when they're not even teens? Red flag.

Obviously the above is somewhat "simplified" for forum-talk sake. A lad in secondary school making constant sex jokes or looking at inappropriate we sites is miles away from signing up to Grindr and meeting a man.

[Niamh.]

To add to the parents issue - sexualised behaviour in children is possibly indicative of sexual abuse, from a safeguarding perspective. And actively seeking out sex when they're not even teens? Red flag.

Obviously the above is somewhat "simplified" for forum-talk sake. A lad in secondary school making constant sex jokes or looking at inappropriate we sites is miles away from signing up to Grindr and meeting a man.Yes very good point Oliver

[jones89]

Yet another reason why literal children shouldn’t have/don’t need smartphones

[Livia]

Yet another reason why literal children shouldn’t have/don’t need smartphones

I think in the future this will become a thing. You should be at least 16 before you're able, with perfect freedom, to look up any perversion, any sick preference that might pop into your mind. Years ago, porn was put on the top shelf in an effort to keep it out of the hands of kids. Now though, any niche perversion has a website anyone with a smartphone can click on. And it's not just sex. Violence, torture, animal torture, terrorism... They're all searchable. Kids could have a mobile if their parents think it's suitable, but no one under 16 should have a smartphone or be able to use a tablet or computer in the privacy of their bedroom, only in family areas under supervision. And definitely no social media.

[jones89]

I think in the future this will become a thing. You should be at least 16 before you're able, with perfect freedom, to look up any perversion, any sick preference that might pop into your mind. Years ago, porn was put on the top shelf in an effort to keep it out of the hands of kids. Now though, any niche perversion has a website anyone with a smartphone can click on. And it's not just sex. Violence, torture, animal torture, terrorism... They're all searchable. Kids could have a mobile if their parents think it's suitable, but no one under 16 should have a smartphone or be able to use a tablet or computer in the privacy of their bedroom, only in family areas under supervision. And definitely no social media.

Exactly! I’m not a parent but it seems like throwing your kid an iphone to keep them happy is the lazy, easy way out.. a simple phone that can call and text is all a young teenager should have

[Redway]

13 year olds are independent and savvy enough to be doing things without their parents knowing

Websites really should be having adequate checks in place particularly on an app which is rife for abuse

I agree.

[Redway]

Yeah agree with this really, obviously parents should be keeping a close eye on their childs internet activity but the internet is just so accessible now, a 12/13 year old is likely to find ways if they want to. The only way of stopping that is be absolutely militant and never allow them go out with friends etc which is also not a good idea at that age. At that age they should be starting to get some independence. Unfortunately this is just a new thing that parents have to try to navigate and do their best with

Yep. I disagree with blaming parents for everything. There’s always going to be stuff older kids/teens get up to that their parents won’t be aware of. Individual maturity levels are another thing, and chronological age doesn’t always account for that. This is obviously a sick example but I’d imagine most 12-year-old boys aren’t trying to hook up on Grindr.

[Livia]

When a child (and by that I mean anyone below the age of majority) gets into trouble, who is responsible? Who must take responsibility? The State? The school? ? A stranger? No... the parents. They are responsible for their children until they are 18 years old. Parents should not be allowed to sidestep their responsibilities and children should be instilled with the knowledge that their parents will face consequences for their badness. In my humble opinion, of course.

[Mystic Mock]

I mean it is a bit of both - I agree that in an ideal world all parents would be good/engaged/active parents and at least aware of something like this being a risk, but also, it edges a little close to "victim blaming" to focus too much on that, and not the fact that there are adult men on apps/online knowingly preying on teenagers - and that those people are the problem.

It's not a new problem of course or a gendered one - I remember what AOL/Yahoo chatrooms were like back when I was first using the internet as an teen in the the 90's and early 2000's. "Teen Chat" was absolutely FULL of adult blokes trying to groom kids. Absolutely lawless. People used to treat it like a game - "Bait a paedo" - basically getting them to say gross stuff/admit their age in private chats then posting the transcript to the main chatroom. Hilarious at the time - in hindsight obviously really grim.

My parents had no idea what the internet was like but, to be fair, there was more excuse back then - the internet was brand new. These days, any adult/parent should be well aware of the risks.

I just want to say that I don't believe that anyone's intention is to put the blame on the children.

I do see your points though tbf.

[GoldHeart]

Yet another reason why literal children shouldn’t have/don’t need smartphones

It's honestly a bizarre world now, literal toddlers are getting iPads and smart devices.

A child below 13 doesn't need a smart phone, the only way I think a child that young should have a phone is for emergencies. But we all know kids don't even use phones for phones these days . it's all apps and various sites .

I think parents should give them a basic phone that's just for calling them , or monitor it .

[jones89]

It's honestly a bizarre world now, literal toddlers are getting iPads and smart devices.

A child below 13 doesn't need a smart phone, the only way I think a child that young should have a phone is for emergencies. But we all know kids don't even use phones for phones these days . it's all apps and various sites .

I think parents should give them a basic phone that's just for calling them , or monitor it .

Oh 100%. If i ever have kids, they’ll hate me!

[Oliver_W]

I'm not going to pretend the world in which we live is the one we grew up in. There are ways to put safeguards in place - every app the lad for whom I'm an independent visitor has to be approved by his carer.