2 rough looking jump-leads walk into a bar

[Crimson Dynamo]

The barman says "look lads I will serve you BUT"

"just don't start anything"

[Crimson Dynamo]

My Mother once told me "Never do something today that you may regret later in life"

I thought it was such good advice that I got it tattooed on my forehead

:shame:

[Crimson Dynamo]

I had a funny bone operation yesterday

The surgeon said I will be in stitches for about 2 weeks

[Crimson Dynamo]

I have had to quit my job at a local Shoe Recycling Centre


I just found it sole destroying

[Crimson Dynamo]

Just been around to my local paper shop to see if they had any helicopter flavored crisps

The lady said "sorry pal we only have plane"