I've had enough! I feel like running away.

[Kate!]

Except there's nowhere to run to and I shouldn't feel this way because my homelife is fine honestly.

I turned a corner last year, kicked a serious gambling habit and healed my relationship. I've got good things going for me and I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

I'm physically and mentally shattered right now though. I full time run a home, take care of my partners mum and I've got a very demanding forum game ongoing which I'm aware I'm taking too seriously and expecting too much of people instead of letting myself enjoy it but my point of view is valid, I feel partially that I've wasted my time as half the housemates have walked and the rest well I spend hours pming everyone and creating threads and trying to help if they are struggling and the game should've been a rip roaring success and it just hasn't been. I've fallen out with Benjamin, nearly lost Maru's friendship, had a blazing row with my forum bestie Vanessa, upset Ammi today. I'm biting my tongue so hard because the housemates aren't engaging with me, to be fair that's me again expecting too much. I think for my own sake I can't do this again. Maybe a tamer game. Josiah, ahh wonderful Josiah has been a rock. I want to be like him, like Ammi. They both are so comfortable in their own skin. I might seem confident on here. I'm utterly not.

Next I'll get slaughtered and accused of playing the victim card by a certain minority, wait for it. I'm just up to the eyeballs with the abuse I get thrown at me. It's relentless. Fortunately the vast majority are lovely to me or I'd be out of here. Gone. I love this place. I just want to make people happy and please them. I'm a good person. I'd do anything for anyone. I make friends easily. I struggle to understand why I'm not universally liked. Lol.

I've been in bits this afternoon. Walking round the house trying to hide that I'm crying from my partner. I need a hug so bad. But I'd literally lose it and weep buckets if I got one. I need to chill out seriously.

I can see some light, the game is nearly over and maybe it was just too much for me. I'm a crazy perfectionist and I can't switch off, relax. I'm feeling better the more I write. I just want to see the game through to its natural conclusion and take a break. Play Strictly Jake's music game which I love. I'm going away with Vanessa next month overnight to Blackpool for her birthday. It cannot come quick enough. I love her. She's amazing to spend time with. I can relax in her company. She doesn't judge me, she's comforting, she says all the right things. Talks a lot of sense. If not for this forum I'd never have met her.

I'm sooooo tired. I may have an early night but knowing me I'll probably get up again and shoot the breeze half the night with Josiah over in the USA.

I didn't know where I was going with this thread, I've just let it meander along. It's like counselling. Being allowed to just talk and express myself. Sorry for the long winded post.

I think I'll stop now. I need to prepare for the game tonight. It's the final night for the housemates and we have a lovely evening planned.

Thank you anyone who's 'listened'.

Xxxx

[Zizu]

I’d ditch the game or let someone take over

Concentrate on yourself and your relationship

Eat healthier , drink more water , start walking daily .. listen to happy, uplifting pop music


Hugz

[Kate!]

I’d ditch the game or let someone take over

Concentrate on yourself and your relationship

Eat healthier , drink more water , start walking daily .. listen to happy, uplifting pop music


Hugz

It's finished tomorrow Zizu.

[Vanessa]

I've felt exactly like that the whole game. It's not an easy one to play or to organize.
At times its overwhelming.
But we only have one more day.

[Kate!]

I've felt exactly like that the whole game. It's not an easy one to play or to organize.
At times its overwhelming.
But we only have one more day.

It is not just that Ness. It's certain people.

[Vanessa]

It is not just that Ness. It's certain people.

You'll feel much better after this game ends.
It will ease the pressure, I think.

[AnnieK]

You've put far too much pressure on yourself rather than letting the game play out and enjoy it.

I get you run a home and care for your partners mum but a lot of your players also have homes and jobs etc. Having watched the game, there is no way I could have committed the time to it. The game has been great and we can all see how much time and effort you've put into it but I think it would have been easier if it were a little shorter - both on you hosts and the players.

Honestly though, a forum game is not worth getting upset over.

Take a step back, a breath and relax :love:

[rusticgal]

It’s admirable that you take these things on for the enjoyment of the forum Kate…it all sounded convoluted to me so I opted out. These things are time consuming and it clearly has got on top of you.
Get it finished and take a bit of time out…your life seems a bit full on, caring for your boyfriends mum and running a home on top of work..it’s a lot.

[Kate!]

You've put far too much pressure on yourself rather than letting the game play out and enjoy it.

I get you run a home and care for your partners mum but a lot of your players also have homes and jobs etc. Having watched the game, there is no way I could have committed the time to it. The game has been great and we can all see how much time and effort you've put into it but I think it would have been easier if it were a little shorter - both on you hosts and the players.

Honestly though, a forum game is not worth getting upset over.

Take a step back, a breath and relax :love:

Yes Annie. I know. You're not wrong. It is mainly the game but not solely. I'm sick.of the crap. I get on here and of reporting it and nothing changing. It just goes on an on?

[Vanessa]

We've all enjoyed the game. Yes it's been tough, but we still had a unique experience.
Im glad I did it because now I know I'm capable and not useless like I thought I was last year.

[Vanessa]

Yes Annie. I know. You're not wrong. It is mainly the game but not solely. I'm sick.of the crap. I get on here and of reporting it and nothing changing. It just goes on an on?

I just block and report anyone causing me grief. I don't want to engage with them..

[arista]

Hang on in there, Kate.

We need you on this site

[Kate!]

Hang on in there, Kate.

We need you on this site

Thank you.

Sometimes when I'm being hounded it doesn't feel like that. It's lovely to hear. I have tears in my eyes.

[Vanessa]

:hug:Thank you.

Sometimes when I'm being hounded it doesn't feel like that. It's lovely to hear. I have tears in my eyes.

[Barry.]

The game was fun but like Annie said, we have things outside the game, like we are decorating the house. However you and J have been great hosts and I’ve enjoyed the game. It’s been fun

[Cherie]

You are a perfectionist Kate, and you just have to understand not everyone is, also you do everything a mile a minute, just breath...relax...... dont be too hard on yourself..... if someone doesn't do something its not the end of the world, TiBB BB is hard, enjoyable but hard......

[Kate!]

The game was fun but like Annie said, we have things outside the game, like we are decorating the house. However you and J have been great hosts and I’ve enjoyed the game. It’s been fun

Baz.. I pm you all constantly making sure you all know exactly what is happening and when? Nobody bothers to tell me if they can't do things they just go awol. I'm tearing my hair out.

I've quit so.many times Josiah needs a revolving door. There's no communication.

I will never do this game again.

[MTVN]

You've put far too much pressure on yourself rather than letting the game play out and enjoy it.

I get you run a home and care for your partners mum but a lot of your players also have homes and jobs etc. Having watched the game, there is no way I could have committed the time to it. The game has been great and we can all see how much time and effort you've put into it but I think it would have been easier if it were a little shorter - both on you hosts and the players.

Honestly though, a forum game is not worth getting upset over.

Take a step back, a breath and relax :love:

I agree with this as an observer Kate. I think your ambition with the game has been really commendable but there's probably some good learnings from it too in simplifying it and running it for a shorter time

It also clashed with on season this year which is an additional thing taking people's time and energy and the game even ran for longer than the actual series

[Kate!]

I agree with this as an observer Kate. I think your ambition with the game has been really commendable but there's probably some good learnings from it too in simplifying it and running it for a shorter time

It also clashed with on season this year which is an additional thing taking people's time and energy and the game even ran for longer than the actual series

All we asked for was a bit of effort.

[AnnieK]

I think you're being quite hard on the players Kate....they all have given a lot of time from what I have seen but real life does take over and they can't always get online to update you of their wearabouts.

I think you've done a good job and should be pleased that the ones who are in the final have had a good time playing

[Kate!]

I think you're being quite hard on the players Kate....they all have given a lot of time from what I have seen but real life does take over and they can't always get online to update you of their wearabouts.

I think you've done a good job and should be pleased that the ones who are in the final have had a good time playing

Some have. Some haven't.

[Barry.]

Baz.. I pm you all constantly making sure you all know exactly what is happening and when? Nobody bothers to tell me if they can't do things they just go awol. I'm tearing my hair out.

I've quit so.many times Josiah needs a revolving door. There's no communication.

I will never do this game again.

I did reply back when you asked to. I pmed you about my speech but I didn’t think sendi g a one word pm would matter to you?

[Kate!]

I did reply back when you asked to. I pmed you about my speech but I didn’t think sendi g a one word pm would matter to you?

I've pmd you today. You were online I saw you. I also invited everyone to social groups and requested you all do Diary room chats so we could post them.

[Barry.]

Was I on? Maybe but I was just closing threads on my phone, today I was with my mum so sorry if I didn’t pm you one minute after you post the pm, you need patience though Kate, give us at least half a day, for Christ sakes it’s the weekend, plus it’s Sunday. You seem to expect us to come to reply to your pm as soon as you sent! I’m sorry Kate but you are getting angry over nothing. We all decided to play the game but it’s not a job, it’s a fun silly kill the time game. You are making us feel sorry for you when we shouldn’t as we give our time to play the game.

[Kate!]

You don't Barry. You've barely taken part in anything? Be flipping honest.

[MTVN]

Honestly you're not doing yourself any favours in this thread Kate, you're being very rude and it's a bit odd to be tracking people's online status

[Barry.]

**** off. I was here for most things. FYI I suffered from a sleep deprived so I sometimes sleep from 6am to like 2. How dare you say I haven’t been here. I’ve showed ups lot. Hell I didn’t say anything when you were attacking Shaun about being here. WE HAVE LIFES!!!!!! So in all serious Kate, go do one

[Liam-]

What is it they say about true colours?

[Kate!]

**** off. I was here for most things. FYI I suffered from a sleep deprived so I sometimes sleep from 6am to like 2. How dare you say I haven’t been here. I’ve showed ups lot. Hell I didn’t say anything when you were attacking Shaun about being here. WE HAVE LIFES!!!!!! So in all serious Kate, go do one

You fcuk off. Ask Josiah. Only he's probably too scared to tell you. You've barely posted and barely taken part.

I don't care!

[Barry.]

What is it they say about true colours?

She’s obviously been holding that one in on me. I should have saw it when Ben was wanting to keep Shaun in but she wasn’t happy because he was “inactive”. Screw her she lost someone to talk to now

[Barry.]

You fcuk off. Ask Josiah. Only he's probably too scared to tell you. You've barely posted and barely taken part.

I don't care!

Kate I done all tasks bar maybe the ones you say are just for fun. You are just a mean person.

Josiah can say it to my face instead of bitching to you.

[MTVN]

I can see from the house thread that Barry has the third most posts in there, almost as many as you Kate

[Kate!]

:idc:

I would never vote to keep or for them to win if they were inactive over people that have poured their heart and soul into our game.

[Barry.]

:idc:

I would never vote to keep or for them to win if they were inactive over people that have poured their heart and soul into our game.

You probably moan that Nicky can’t make it after 6. I can see what people mean about true colours, yours are shining through and you made a thread to play victim.

Looks like the next season is cancel as no will want to play a game with you as host

[Ammi]

…Kate…Barry has already explained that he’s been as active in the game as he’s been able to, he’s given as much time as he could around any outside commitments…

[Benjamin]

Kate, I don’t mean to be rude, so please don’t take it that way. But maybe a break from the forum for a couple of weeks could be needed so you can focus on your real life and recompose if things are getting too much.

You’ve fallen out with many of us, and it always seems to be that other persons fault.

[Barry.]

You fcuk off. Ask Josiah. Only he's probably too scared to tell you. You've barely posted and barely taken part.

I don't care!

Just noticed you calling Josiah basically a chicken, you insulted the only person who’d be by your side now

[Barry.]

…Kate…Barry has already explained that he’s been as active in the game as he’s been able to, he’s given as much time as he could around any outside commitments…

No Ammi she wants us all to be here 24/7.

[Dogeatdog]

She’s obviously been holding that one in on me. I should have saw it when Ben was wanting to keep Shaun in but she wasn’t happy because he was “inactive”. Screw her she lost someone to talk to now

The thing is I tried to be as active as possible, and I felt that I put in as much effort as possible in the tasks (the radio one being a case in point) but like you said people have lives outside the forum. You’ve taken part in most of the tasks (maybe all I’m not sure as I haven’t followed this since I left) so Kate you’re being bang out of order saying that Barry has barely taken part.

It’s insulting really and tbh these comments are ruining the whole game. After the debacle I had with Kate, I be honest I just lost all motivation to carry on taking part and decided to walk. I tried to carry on but with that and the amount of tasks that were being churned out daily was just too much.

Looking through the Tibb BB game subforum, there’s almost been a task everyday even on the weekends? It’s ridiculous the game shouldn’t be that intense.

[Kate!]

You probably moan that Nicky can’t make it after 6. I can see what people mean about true colours, yours are shining through and you made a thread to play victim.

Looks like the next season is cancel as no will want to play a game with you as host

Oh don't worry. I'll never host this farce again. It's not Josiah's fault.

[Benjamin]

The thing is I tried to be as active as possible, and I felt that I put in as much effort as possible in the tasks (the radio one being a case in point) but like you said people have lives outside the forum. You’ve taken part in most of the tasks (maybe all I’m not sure as I haven’t followed this since I left) so Kate you’re being bang out of order saying that Barry has barely taken part.

It’s insulting really and tbh these comments are ruining the whole game. After the debacle I had with Kate, I be honest I just lost all motivation to carry on taking part and decided to walk. I tried to carry on but with that and the amount of tasks that were being churned out daily was just too much.

Looking through the Tibb BB game subforum, there’s almost been a task everyday even on the weekends? It’s ridiculous the game shouldn’t be that intense.

I agree about the game being too intense. The forum sadly isn’t like it used to be where people had the time to commit to a game/tasks/all nighters for weeks on end. Times have changed and a game should work with players lives, not against them.

That said, and I’ve said this to someone else already, Kate you did have good, creative ideas. I think your execution of them hasn’t been great though because not everyone is online as often as you are and you lash out. I tried to tell you this and you need to try work with the players but you went off on me thinking I was trying to take over.

[Barry.]

Oh don't worry. I'll never host this farce again. It's not Josiah's fault.

It kind of is Josiahs fault too. He is not saying anything in here and you insulted almost every player, even your friend Vanessa.

He is as guilty as you are

[Josiah.]

Everyone, I am so saddened that this has erupted to this. I never wanted things to turn out this way.

I get that this has been a rough time for all of us, both in game and out of game.

We wanted things to be fun, and now, with this drama and language being thrown out at each other; I don't know what to do.

I never wanted you all to get this way, and I just wish you all could be kinder.

Kate has done so much, and I appreciated everything she has done to help me. Her tasks were a lot of fun, and some of her ideas to tag onto the tasks I made were great.

I just wish you all you realise that despite all the hatred that has been thrown, there is a genuine and kind soul in her.

Be Kind. Be Positive. No More Fighting.

[Kate!]

It kind of is Josiahs fault too. He is not saying anything in here and you insulted almost every player, even your friend Vanessa.

He is as guilty as you are

Where did I insult Vanessa.

I've insulted you. Whatever?

[Barry.]

Everyone, I am so saddened that this has erupted to this. I never wanted things to turn out this way.

I get that this has been a rough time for all of us, both in game and out of game.

We wanted things to be fun, and now, with this drama and language being thrown out at each other; I don't know what to do.

I never wanted you all to get this way, and I just wish you all could be kinder.

Kate has done so much, and I appreciated everything she has done to help me. Her tasks were a lot of fun, and some of her ideas to tag onto the tasks I made were great.

I just wish you all you realise that despite all the hatred that has been thrown, there is a genuine and kind soul in her.

Be Kind. Be Positive. No More Fighting.


Sorry Josiah but I call bullshit. Kate has already told us you’ve been bitching about us and you haven’t given Kate any responsibility in any of this! She insulted half your players and you think that’s ok?

[Josiah.]

Barry, I'm saddened and heartbroken by what you said.

I never wanted to be bitchy, and if I was, I'm sorry. I truly am. It's not in my nature to be bitchy.

I truly, never wanted to be mean to anyone. I am crushed and torn, and I feel hurt.

I apologise to everyone who I may have hurt.

I never wanted this to end this way.

[Swan]

Just wanna say, as an outside observer, all the actual rowing between members is just like an actual IRL Big Brother season. All the tasks, all the games, all the rowing, this is literally a virtual BB :joker:

[Redway]

I agree about the game being too intense. The forum sadly isn’t like it used to be where people had the time to commit to a game/tasks/all nighters for weeks on end. Times have changed and a game should work with players lives, not against them.

That said, and I’ve said this to someone else already, Kate you did have good, creative ideas. I think your execution of them hasn’t been great though because not everyone is online as often as you are and you lash out. I tried to tell you this and you need to try work with the players but you went off on me thinking I was trying to take over.

From the little I’ve seen, I have to agree with this. I just wouldn’t have the time to be online as much as the game seems to demand and I’m obviously not the only one.

You know I respect you, Kate, (and I say this while admitting I don’t know the full context) but it is a bit much to expect people to be online as often as you seem to want. It’s a big commitment, and life outside the forum has to come first.

[Vanessa]

Please can you guys be nice to each other?
There's no need for this.
Kate and Josiah have been great hosts.
But I get it, its very hard.
Maybe the game should be simpler?
Ist probably way too intense as it is currently.

[Benjamin]

Please can you guys be nice to each other?
There's no need for this.
Kate and Josiah have been great hosts.
But I get it, its very hard.
Maybe the game should be simpler?
Ist probably way too intense as it is currently.

With all due respect Vanessa, Kate did bring this on herself by starting this thread in a public space. People are allowed to air their grievances in response, especially if she tarnishing them publically.

I think if the game returns it needs to either be longer with less intense tasks (instead have tasks last a few days so all can join when it works for them), or stay the same length, have less tasks and be much clearer from the outset of applications what the structure is going to be so those applying know if they will be able to commit or not.

[Dogeatdog]

With all due respect Vanessa, Kate did bring this on herself by starting this thread in a public space. People are allowed to air their grievances in response, especially if she tarnishing them publically.

I think if the game returns it needs to either be longer with less intense tasks (instead have tasks last a few days so all can join when it works for them), or stay the same length, have less tasks and be much clearer from the outset of applications what the structure is going to be so those applying know if they will be able to commit or not.

100% agree with this. The exact point I tried to put across last time.

[Kate!]

With all due respect Vanessa, Kate did bring this on herself by starting this thread in a public space. People are allowed to air their grievances in response, especially if she tarnishing them publically.

I think if the game returns it needs to either be longer with less intense tasks (instead have tasks last a few days so all can join when it works for them), or stay the same length, have less tasks and be much clearer from the outset of applications what the structure is going to be so those applying know if they will be able to commit or not.

IF it returns it will be just Josiah. I want nothing to do with it.

[MTVN]

Closing this now, much to think about I'm sure from this thread!