Mentored by Maya

[Redway]

https://join.mentoredbymaya.co.uk/application-submit

Just leaving this out there for anyone who might be interested (headed by an Igbo-Scouse gem called, again, Maya). A way to empower women instead of reducing their bodies to trend and judgemental spectacle.

[Redway]

https://youtu.be/lTJRlm4n4ac?si=f83iL83ZsRYcC5zE

https://youtu.be/RSBCsUicOdE?si=KVkUCu_ccA-x0VPj

https://youtu.be/TmbvbiQzpuU?si=6M524Zww2r7yc3Oc

Some testimonials from coaches. Without overstepping boundaries from a male perspective, I just thought I’d do a bit of awareness-spreading for a cause that matters, one that’s about empowerment and not gaze. Naturally, Maya has quite-a following and I really love that for her.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Is this some pyramid scheme?

[Redway]

Is this some pyramid scheme?

Oh, get out of here, you.

[Mystic Mock]

Tbf there's nothing wrong with a bit of the male or female gaze (which sounds so childish to talk like this, but I'll go with it for the sake of this topic) but it's normal for people to make comments about who they find attractive and who they don't (it's healthy discussion imo) and I do think that it's very odd nowadays how there are certain groups out there that try to shame people (in particular men) for liking how certain women look more than others, it's called a bloody preference it's not a bad thing imo.

I know that there are douchebags out there that do like to make women feel uncomfortable or insecure about themselves, but I do sadly nowadays believe that a lot of people can't tell the difference between a womanizer who has a more old fashioned way of expressing himself but still cares about a woman's feelings, and a perverted individual who sees women as "just a pair of tits” and treats her like dirt.

[Redway]

Tbf there's nothing wrong with a bit of the male or female gaze (which sounds so childish to talk like this, but I'll go with it for the sake of this topic) but it's normal for people to make comments about who they find attractive and who they don't (it's healthy discussion imo) and I do think that it's very odd nowadays how there are certain groups out there that try to shame people (in particular men) for liking how certain women look more than others, it's called a bloody preference it's not a bad thing imo.

I know that there are douchebags out there that do like to make women feel uncomfortable or insecure about themselves, but I do sadly nowadays believe that a lot of people can't tell the difference between a womanizer who has a more old fashioned way of expressing himself but still cares about a woman's feelings, and a perverted individual who sees women as "just a pair of tits” and treats her like dirt.

I agree that there’s nothing wrong with gaze to a certain extent. When it gets inappropriate is when it becomes endless fixation on who looks healthy and who doesn’t, dressed up as concern, and reducing someone’s likability and worth as a followee (in various departments) to how pretty that particular man finds them. Or saying it’s inappropriate to talk sexually in front of 18-year-old young women while fawning over people just 2 years older, trying to safeguard what’s said around women very-slightly younger (which is infantilising in the first place, and-so demeaning) based on very old-fashioned (and old-fashioned is by no means inherently worse, but when it comes to the perception of women per-se, it generally is) while holding the final mantel on who’s worth fawning over just a little beyond that for the sake of infatuation without regard for their actual personalities, just blind gaze (ironically).

But, really, that kind of is genuinely by-the-by as far as this thread goes, tbh. I did mention it in passing to set a boundary between that and just promoting a friend of a friend’s business that comes from a place of female solidarity and wanting to get more “in-shape” for themselves, not for male gaze or to jump on a trend of media-defined attractiveness. And a lot of female body-coach mentors will make that distinction pretty clear themselves, otherwise people overstep or misunderstand what it’s really about. As a male, I think it’s extra-important to clarify that boundary if you join the conversation at any point, so intentions aren’t misconstrued.

[Mystic Mock]

I agree that there’s nothing wrong with gaze to a certain extent. When it gets inappropriate is when it becomes endless fixation on who looks healthy and who doesn’t, dressed up as concern, and reducing someone’s likability and worth as a followee (in various departments) to how pretty that particular man finds them. Or saying it’s inappropriate to talk sexually in front of 18-year-old young women while fawning over people just 2 years older, trying to safeguard what’s said around women very-slightly younger (which is infantilising in the first place, and-so demeaning) based on very old-fashioned (and old-fashioned is by no means inherently worse, but when it comes to the perception of women per-se, it generally is) while holding the final mantel on who’s worth fawning over just a little beyond that for the sake of infatuation without regard for their actual personalities, just blind gaze (ironically).

But, really, that kind of is genuinely by-the-by as far as this thread goes, tbh. I did mention it in passing to set a boundary between that and just promoting a friend of a friend’s business that comes from a place of female solidarity and wanting to get more “in-shape” for themselves, not for male gaze or to jump on a trend of media-defined attractiveness. And a lot of female body-coach mentors will make that distinction pretty clear themselves, otherwise people overstep or misunderstand what it’s really about. As a male, I think it’s extra-important to clarify that boundary if you join the conversation at any point, so intentions aren’t misconstrued.

I see what you mean.

Tbh it's all so messed up nowadays, trying to know what the boundaries are seems to dramatically vary.:laugh:

[Redway]

I see what you mean.

Tbh it's all so messed up nowadays, trying to know what the boundaries are seems to dramatically vary.:laugh:

I know what you’re saying, I do. But I honestly wouldn’t have thought you per-se would have any issues in that department in the first place. The thing to remember is that there’s a difference between harmless glaze (finding someone attractive, which is only natural) and reductive fixation + fixated ranking, and not to take away from female solidarity or things women do for themselves alone, having that autonomy over bodies that they know better than anyone, because then it can come across as male entitlement for a woman to look a certain way, even if that’s not the intention. And I just don’t think it does anyone really any good to enable and excuse men like that, old and capable enough to be held accountable for their actions and know better. If they’re old enough to objectify, they’re old enough to learn to treat women with respect, especially if they’re married with kids and more. There’s just no excuse for stuff like that.

But, again, I don’t think that’s a problem for you per-se. I’ve never gotten that vibe from you. Other people on this forum, most-definitely, but I won’t mention them by name unless the cat drags them in. But as-for you? Oh, you’re good. Trust me.

[Mystic Mock]

I know what you’re saying, I do. But I honestly wouldn’t have thought you per-se would have any issues in that department in the first place. The thing to remember is that there’s a difference between harmless glaze (finding someone attractive, which is only natural) and reductive fixation + fixated ranking, and not to take away from female solidarity or things women do for themselves alone, having that autonomy over bodies that they know better than anyone, because then it can come across as male entitlement for a woman to look a certain way, even if that’s not the intention.

But, again, I don’t think that’s a problem for you per-se. I’ve never gotten that vibe from you. Other people on this forum, most-definitely. But you’re good. Trust me.

Thanks Redway.:dance:

[Redway]

Thanks Redway.:dance:

And until you’re pushing cigarettes on all women you might potentially find sexy for appetite-suppression, Playboy-cued grapefruit-diet enforcement onto 20-year-olds, following women in interpersonal spaces for their looks rather than personalities as a married man and doing everything you can to weaponise concern for health against women being able to just exist in their bodies (which I know could never be you), you’ll continue to be good, man. You take women as they are and like what you like within those bounds. And that’s just fine. You haven’t got to worry about that.