YODA
29-07-2007, 03:34 PM
We need -> I want
It's your decision -> The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want -> You'll pay for this later
We need to talk -> I need to complain
Sure...go ahead -> I don't want you to.
I'm not upset -> Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're...so manly -> You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
you're certainly attentive tonight. -> Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! -> I have PMS.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. -> I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. -> I want a new house.
I want new curtains -> and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture there -> No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise -> I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? -> I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? -> I did something today you're really not going to like...
i'll be ready in a minute. -> Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? -> Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. -> Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? -> [Too late, your dead.]
Yes -> No
No -> No
Maybe -> No
I'm sorry. -> You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? -> It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling! -> Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In answer to the question "What's wrong?":
-------------------- -------------------------------
The same old thing. -> Nothing.
Nothing. -> Everything.
Everything. -> My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. -> It's just that you're such a jerk.
I don't want to talk about it. -> Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.
poor lad
It's your decision -> The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want -> You'll pay for this later
We need to talk -> I need to complain
Sure...go ahead -> I don't want you to.
I'm not upset -> Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're...so manly -> You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
you're certainly attentive tonight. -> Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! -> I have PMS.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. -> I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. -> I want a new house.
I want new curtains -> and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture there -> No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise -> I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? -> I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? -> I did something today you're really not going to like...
i'll be ready in a minute. -> Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? -> Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. -> Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? -> [Too late, your dead.]
Yes -> No
No -> No
Maybe -> No
I'm sorry. -> You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? -> It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling! -> Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In answer to the question "What's wrong?":
-------------------- -------------------------------
The same old thing. -> Nothing.
Nothing. -> Everything.
Everything. -> My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. -> It's just that you're such a jerk.
I don't want to talk about it. -> Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.
poor lad