Romantic Old Bird
21-07-2003, 05:13 PM
Moved from BB4 section before Sticks moans at me:
Overheard in the Big Brother longue earlier:
C: Stef, do you think I could actually WIN this thing?
S: I do, Cam. I think you stand a really good chance. I suppose we all do, because we’re still here.
C: Oh yes, of course we are. I had’na thought of that.
S: I mean, I’m the last girl, but I know I’ve got a lot of competition from the girlie votes.
C: Oh Stef, I will na’ get the girlie vote I would nae think. That’s more for Scott, and maybe Ray.
S: Yeah, but I think you’ve got a wider appeal. I think the mum’s and the housewives will like you as well.
C: Oh stop it! You’ll make me blush!
S: Well, you’re an attractive man
C: I’m no!
S: You are, and you aren’t worldly either. I think they’ll like that.
C: I’m not so sure. D’ye ken they would pick me above someone like Scott? He’s a good looking boy, and Ray, well he’s going to appeal to a lot of women I think.
S: Cameron, you’ve got to stop putting yourself down. They are just boys, and you are a man. Women want a real man.
C: Well, I suppose I am a good bit older than either of them.
S; You are, but it’s a good thing. You look like you know how to treat a lady.
C: Well, my mother has always taught me to be respectful……..
S: Yes and you are respectful Cameron. Very.
C: I’m sure you wouldnae like it if I was rough and ready. I could not treat a woman badly, on no. I always ask myself……..
S: I know, ‘What would Jesus do?’
C: Exactly.
S: I’m not sure that’s completely applicable to your relationship with women though Cam. I mean, Jesus was celibate. He didn’t have much contact with women at all.
C: He did, what about Mary Magdalene then? And his mother of course.
S: Well, I know about them, but he didn’t have a real relationship with them did he? Not in an intimate way, if you know what I mean.
C: Stef! You cannot talk aboot Jesus like that. That’s shocking!
S: Sorry Cameron, but you know what I mean.
C; I think I do yes, but I’m sure he was very caring towards women.
S: Give me an example then
C: Well, he saved Mary Magdalene from a fate worse than death.
S: Yes, I suppose
C: And he cured the sick
S: True. What else?
C: I’m sure there were lots of things he did.
Jon Tickle enters room and adds an aside: J: Yes, he also took fisherman away from their livelihoods, told them to abandon their families and sent them all around the meditteranean to spread the word.
C: Oh Jon, you cannae say that. It wasn’t like that. He changed their whole life for the better.
(Jon, casually walking through on his way to the Garden: )
J: Mmm, I suppose writing letters and ending up crucified upside down was a great comfort to Peter…..Just my opinion….(Jon leaves the room)
C: See, I don’t like that. Sometimes Jon says things that make me feel, well, a bit angry.
S: I know. He’s a funny bloke sometimes. Do you think he could win?
C: I suppose he might do. If Ray’s right, and he came back in on a public vote, then has must be popular out there.
S: Yes, but we don’t know do we? It’s women that vote anyway, and he won’t get the girlie vote will he? Or the Housewife’s vote.
C: No, that’s me, the housewives choice. Mind you when I was in South Africa…..
S: Yes, well, as I was saying Cam
C: But you have nae let me finish..
S: I think you do appeal to women Cam
C: Ach no……no really.
S: You do. But do you mind me saying, something to you?
C: No, go on Stef.
S: Well, I think you should be more masterful sometimes
C: Masterful? Well, when a smacked your bum you did not like it. That’s for sure..
S: That’s not masterful Cam. That’s something that I would expect from Ray.
C: So what’s masterful then?
S: Taking the lead a little bit in a relationship.
C: How so?
S: Well, you know, taking a woman in your strong arms, nuzzling into her neck, whispering in her ear……
C: I couldnae do that!
S: Covering her mouth with hot steamy kisses, taking her breath away, sliding your hands down her body……..
C: Stef!!
S: Guiding her firmly but gently to the floor, telling her that you want her. Now! …
C: Stef! Stef! Are you OK? You’ve gone all strange. Do you feel giddy?
S: What? Oh. Yes, I think I do. I might faint, Cameron, please - oh - I’m going to fall
C: Well, quickly, go near the settee then, so you don’t hurt yourself….
S: I can’t Cameron, I can’t make it, I’m going, catch me Cameron oooooooooh---THUMP!
Steph lies winded and motionless on the floor where she has fallen.
Opening one eye slowly she sees Cameron with his elephant mask in his hand, standing over her.
S: What? Why didn’t you catch me Cameron? Why are you holding that mask?
C: Well, what you were saying got me to thinking aboot Tapuwa. She wanted me to take hold of her like that.
S: Did she now? Well, did you?
C: No, of course not. It would nae have been right.
Stef, struggling to her feet alone as Cameron still stares at his mask……….
S: What makes you say that?
C: Well, I might have given her the idea that I would spend the night with her and I don’t think she wanted me just to sleep with her, d’ye ken?
S: I do ken Cameron. I ken very well. I’m seeing a new side to you now. You are a positive lothario.
C: Oh don’t say that Stef, I’m feeling embarrassed now. My mother would have been horr-i-fied if I’d done anything like that.
S: Well your mother doesn’t have to know everything you do. You don’t tell her everything do you?
C: Why ever not? I wouldnae do anything I couldnae share with my mother. That would be shocking.
S: Oh, Cameron!
C: It wouldnae be right.
S: Do you think you’ll ever have children Cameron?
C: I hope so
S: How do you think you’re going to get them then?
C: Well, with a wife of course.
S: Right, good, well I’m glad you know that much at least. I was getting worried. It's a start. But babies don't just come you know. You have to do something first...
C: D’ye mean the birds and the bees Stef?
S: Of course I do.
C: Well, I grew up in a farming community so I would know about that wouldn’t I?
S: Sorry Cameron, I didn’t think.
C: I’ve seen all the lambin’ and the calvin’. I know the storks don’t bring them.
S: They’d have to be big storks!
C: True. But I think it’s going to take a very special sort of woman
S: Of course. Someone who will look after you, cherish you and bring up the children
C: Yes. But the babies, it’s such a lot to ask of someone
S: Oh Cameron, don’t worry, if they love you, it will be an honour for them to bear your children…….
C: I know, but it’s the process, it’s so………
S: Wonderful! Really, it is! I can’t wait to have babies, I want loads.
C: Really Stef?
S: Really!
C: You wouldn’t mind going through all that?
S: Of course not. Some people would say they would enjoy the process Cameron. You might like it as well.
C: Oh, I couldnae’ look!
S: Why not? Birth is a beautiful thing.
C: Och aye, I’ve seen lot’s of calves and lambs being born
S: Well, what’s your problem then?
C; I mean the (whispers) ‘conception’
S: Well, call me stupid, but I would have thought that was one of the best parts about it!
C: Stef!!!
S: Well, it’s lovely
C: It is not!
S: It is, why not?
C: It’s so ……..well, ………intimate
S: Well, it has to be, that’s what makes it nice.
C: Well, I’d just as soon not look thank you very much
S: Well, I suppose you don’t HAVE to keep your eyes open, or you could do it in the dark.
C: Don’t be daft!
S: It’s not daft Cameron. If you’re bashful, why not?
C: Well, I’ve seen what the vet does, and I don’t want to put the syringe in the wrong place!!
:shocked:
Overheard in the Big Brother longue earlier:
C: Stef, do you think I could actually WIN this thing?
S: I do, Cam. I think you stand a really good chance. I suppose we all do, because we’re still here.
C: Oh yes, of course we are. I had’na thought of that.
S: I mean, I’m the last girl, but I know I’ve got a lot of competition from the girlie votes.
C: Oh Stef, I will na’ get the girlie vote I would nae think. That’s more for Scott, and maybe Ray.
S: Yeah, but I think you’ve got a wider appeal. I think the mum’s and the housewives will like you as well.
C: Oh stop it! You’ll make me blush!
S: Well, you’re an attractive man
C: I’m no!
S: You are, and you aren’t worldly either. I think they’ll like that.
C: I’m not so sure. D’ye ken they would pick me above someone like Scott? He’s a good looking boy, and Ray, well he’s going to appeal to a lot of women I think.
S: Cameron, you’ve got to stop putting yourself down. They are just boys, and you are a man. Women want a real man.
C: Well, I suppose I am a good bit older than either of them.
S; You are, but it’s a good thing. You look like you know how to treat a lady.
C: Well, my mother has always taught me to be respectful……..
S: Yes and you are respectful Cameron. Very.
C: I’m sure you wouldnae like it if I was rough and ready. I could not treat a woman badly, on no. I always ask myself……..
S: I know, ‘What would Jesus do?’
C: Exactly.
S: I’m not sure that’s completely applicable to your relationship with women though Cam. I mean, Jesus was celibate. He didn’t have much contact with women at all.
C: He did, what about Mary Magdalene then? And his mother of course.
S: Well, I know about them, but he didn’t have a real relationship with them did he? Not in an intimate way, if you know what I mean.
C: Stef! You cannot talk aboot Jesus like that. That’s shocking!
S: Sorry Cameron, but you know what I mean.
C; I think I do yes, but I’m sure he was very caring towards women.
S: Give me an example then
C: Well, he saved Mary Magdalene from a fate worse than death.
S: Yes, I suppose
C: And he cured the sick
S: True. What else?
C: I’m sure there were lots of things he did.
Jon Tickle enters room and adds an aside: J: Yes, he also took fisherman away from their livelihoods, told them to abandon their families and sent them all around the meditteranean to spread the word.
C: Oh Jon, you cannae say that. It wasn’t like that. He changed their whole life for the better.
(Jon, casually walking through on his way to the Garden: )
J: Mmm, I suppose writing letters and ending up crucified upside down was a great comfort to Peter…..Just my opinion….(Jon leaves the room)
C: See, I don’t like that. Sometimes Jon says things that make me feel, well, a bit angry.
S: I know. He’s a funny bloke sometimes. Do you think he could win?
C: I suppose he might do. If Ray’s right, and he came back in on a public vote, then has must be popular out there.
S: Yes, but we don’t know do we? It’s women that vote anyway, and he won’t get the girlie vote will he? Or the Housewife’s vote.
C: No, that’s me, the housewives choice. Mind you when I was in South Africa…..
S: Yes, well, as I was saying Cam
C: But you have nae let me finish..
S: I think you do appeal to women Cam
C: Ach no……no really.
S: You do. But do you mind me saying, something to you?
C: No, go on Stef.
S: Well, I think you should be more masterful sometimes
C: Masterful? Well, when a smacked your bum you did not like it. That’s for sure..
S: That’s not masterful Cam. That’s something that I would expect from Ray.
C: So what’s masterful then?
S: Taking the lead a little bit in a relationship.
C: How so?
S: Well, you know, taking a woman in your strong arms, nuzzling into her neck, whispering in her ear……
C: I couldnae do that!
S: Covering her mouth with hot steamy kisses, taking her breath away, sliding your hands down her body……..
C: Stef!!
S: Guiding her firmly but gently to the floor, telling her that you want her. Now! …
C: Stef! Stef! Are you OK? You’ve gone all strange. Do you feel giddy?
S: What? Oh. Yes, I think I do. I might faint, Cameron, please - oh - I’m going to fall
C: Well, quickly, go near the settee then, so you don’t hurt yourself….
S: I can’t Cameron, I can’t make it, I’m going, catch me Cameron oooooooooh---THUMP!
Steph lies winded and motionless on the floor where she has fallen.
Opening one eye slowly she sees Cameron with his elephant mask in his hand, standing over her.
S: What? Why didn’t you catch me Cameron? Why are you holding that mask?
C: Well, what you were saying got me to thinking aboot Tapuwa. She wanted me to take hold of her like that.
S: Did she now? Well, did you?
C: No, of course not. It would nae have been right.
Stef, struggling to her feet alone as Cameron still stares at his mask……….
S: What makes you say that?
C: Well, I might have given her the idea that I would spend the night with her and I don’t think she wanted me just to sleep with her, d’ye ken?
S: I do ken Cameron. I ken very well. I’m seeing a new side to you now. You are a positive lothario.
C: Oh don’t say that Stef, I’m feeling embarrassed now. My mother would have been horr-i-fied if I’d done anything like that.
S: Well your mother doesn’t have to know everything you do. You don’t tell her everything do you?
C: Why ever not? I wouldnae do anything I couldnae share with my mother. That would be shocking.
S: Oh, Cameron!
C: It wouldnae be right.
S: Do you think you’ll ever have children Cameron?
C: I hope so
S: How do you think you’re going to get them then?
C: Well, with a wife of course.
S: Right, good, well I’m glad you know that much at least. I was getting worried. It's a start. But babies don't just come you know. You have to do something first...
C: D’ye mean the birds and the bees Stef?
S: Of course I do.
C: Well, I grew up in a farming community so I would know about that wouldn’t I?
S: Sorry Cameron, I didn’t think.
C: I’ve seen all the lambin’ and the calvin’. I know the storks don’t bring them.
S: They’d have to be big storks!
C: True. But I think it’s going to take a very special sort of woman
S: Of course. Someone who will look after you, cherish you and bring up the children
C: Yes. But the babies, it’s such a lot to ask of someone
S: Oh Cameron, don’t worry, if they love you, it will be an honour for them to bear your children…….
C: I know, but it’s the process, it’s so………
S: Wonderful! Really, it is! I can’t wait to have babies, I want loads.
C: Really Stef?
S: Really!
C: You wouldn’t mind going through all that?
S: Of course not. Some people would say they would enjoy the process Cameron. You might like it as well.
C: Oh, I couldnae’ look!
S: Why not? Birth is a beautiful thing.
C: Och aye, I’ve seen lot’s of calves and lambs being born
S: Well, what’s your problem then?
C; I mean the (whispers) ‘conception’
S: Well, call me stupid, but I would have thought that was one of the best parts about it!
C: Stef!!!
S: Well, it’s lovely
C: It is not!
S: It is, why not?
C: It’s so ……..well, ………intimate
S: Well, it has to be, that’s what makes it nice.
C: Well, I’d just as soon not look thank you very much
S: Well, I suppose you don’t HAVE to keep your eyes open, or you could do it in the dark.
C: Don’t be daft!
S: It’s not daft Cameron. If you’re bashful, why not?
C: Well, I’ve seen what the vet does, and I don’t want to put the syringe in the wrong place!!
:shocked: