Creative writing section feedback

[Sticks]

I am probably asking for this, but I thought that it might be an idea to have a thread where others can give some kind of feed back to the creations that have been made, and possibly exchange tips.

I know someone found my last series confusing, was it too labyrinthine?

[DreadPirate]

Good idea Sticks, just what's needed. :thumbs:

Some good ones ive read so far are The Resistance by Chewy, The adventures of Cujo man by Cujo man and The mystical realms by Mr. Sticks.

Magic Shoes' Snow White story is very good too.

(Ive deleted my replies in the story threads so it doesnt spoil their flow:thumbs:)

[Scarlett.]

Thanks, I enjoy your storys too :thumbs:

[cujo-man]

I did find your series a little over-complicated Sticks (too clever or me, with all your computer lingo: IP?). Still, I did find the basic idea of it fun, with the whole forum thing but with the stylings of the Lord of the Rings - funny stuff with the whole "we had lost the battle. Brian had won".

So yes, to be perfectly honest it was good but a little confusing.

[Magic]

I like everyones story so far, and I find Sticks rather funny. I still have Cujo-Mans to read, but I will review them soon!

P.S - How can I Improve my story?
P.P.S - Can someone who is good with Dialouge add to the Interactive Story?

[Scarlett.]

Your is good so far MS no need for improvement :thumbs:

[Magic]

Can you all give me advise on how to improve please.

Chewy yours is good!

[Scarlett.]

You could make each episode (or chapter) longer
Have either good descriptions of things or lots of action/conversation
Always leave the audience on the edge at the end of each Chapter/Episode
:hugesmile:

[Magic]

Originally posted by Chewy
You could make each episode (or chapter) longer
Have either good descriptions of things or lots of action/conversation
Always leave the audience on the edge at the end of each Chapter/Episode
:hugesmile:

Ok, I have started writing in the first person context, so I wil introduce Diaolgue halfaway through, when the past can become the present tense.

I will try and make more action/Description, and make bigger cliffhangers.

[Scarlett.]

Coolio :thumbs:

[Sticks]

I am still mulling whether I am better at first person or third person

[Scarlett.]

I wrote a seires called "The Wind" for 10 years (I was 4 when I began and 14 when I finished) I wrote it in 1st Person, but things got messy as I had to concentrate mainly on one character, and couldnt switch to others.

I am currently working out a way to bring it back, as it was a messy ending.

[Sticks]

Remember this is the thread for commenting on peoples efforts, rather than breaking the flow, if they like me, do things episodically.

:dance:

[Sticks]

Well the 4th Season premier of the Mystical Realms sagas have started (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=76272)

Thoughts so far?

So far it is the first one where I have not referenced Big Brother :shocked:

[Sticks]

Hello?

sound of an echo in an empty cavern

:whistle:

[Scarlett.]

I like it although its a bit confusing:thumbs:

[Magic]

As I didnt read all of your first ones, i dont know who Fidelity is.
But, OMG, who is in the car??

Can you read and comment on mine please sticks? Pllllease?

[Sticks]

This bit first

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
Can you read and comment on mine please sticks? Pllllease?


I like the concept, although the original fairy tale involved a mirror as a scrying device, that the wicked queen used to discover that the woodsman had not executed her as he was asked to. I am wondering what the modern equivalent would be if magic is not resorted to.

Also like mine, being in the first person, you only have one characters view point. Because of how the original progressed, that could be kind of awkward, so am interested how that will be done

Another minefield has to be the seven dwarfs, because, and this is for real, Hull City Council banned that pantomime from all council properties, on the grounds that "dwarf" was insulting to vertically challenged citizens. I was surprised they missed the blatant racial side of the title... :whistle:

Now this bit

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
As I didnt read all of your first ones, i dont know who Fidelity is.


You really need to read through the entire thing, as it is explained there :nono::wink:

However, if it helps I have created this thread (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=76451)

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
But, OMG, who is in the car??


Tune in next time :wink:

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Chewy
I like it although its a bit confusing:thumbs:

Which bits are confusing?

[Sticks]

I just had to add a further bit to the details about the Spirit of Fidelity on this thread (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=76451)

[Magic]

Originally posted by Sticks
This bit first

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
Can you read and comment on mine please sticks? Pllllease?


I like the concept, although the original fairy tale involved a mirror as a scrying device, that the wicked queen used to discover that the woodsman had not executed her as he was asked to. I am wondering what the modern equivalent would be if magic is not resorted to.

Also like mine, being in the first person, you only have one characters view point. Because of how the original progressed, that could be kind of awkward, so am interested how that will be done

Another minefield has to be the seven dwarfs, because, and this is for real, Hull City Council banned that pantomime from all council properties, on the grounds that "dwarf" was insulting to vertically challenged citizens. I was surprised they missed the blatant racial side of the title... :whistle:

Now this bit

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
As I didnt read all of your first ones, i dont know who Fidelity is.


You really need to read through the entire thing, as it is explained there :nono::wink:

However, if it helps I have created this thread (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=76451)

Originally posted by Magic-Shoes
But, OMG, who is in the car??


Tune in next time :wink:

The Mirror was basically just the pervert men. And the Dwarfs... You will find out, although they aren't actually dwarfs.

And thanks, I read the thread and it cleared things up.

[Scarlett.]

Originally posted by Sticks
Originally posted by Chewy
I like it although its a bit confusing:thumbs:

Which bits are confusing? Not sure really, its good though keep it up:thumbs:

[Sticks]

Episode 2 is now available :elephant:

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Chewy
[Not sure really, its good though keep it up:thumbs:

Thanks, if I can make a suggestion about the formatting of yours, please can you loose the centre justification as it makes the text for me at least harder to read.

Apart from that it seems ok conceptully.

[Scarlett.]

If you mean

This

I only use it for ads, but I'll not use it from now on:hugesmile:

Thanks

[Sticks]

One of the things I have been doing with mine, is putting in lnks to maps, technical back up information, etc.

Are these helpful?

[Scarlett.]

Aye:thumbs:
its best to have background info (such as maps):thumbs:

[Sticks]

I hope to work on part three some time soon, especially as the Christmas period could muck things up. I hear that the wirless network near my parents I used last time is not available, and my father refuses to up grade from dialup as he sees no justification.

But I digress.

[Scarlett.]

Aye, I'm gonna have to wrap up Life on P.S up early, cause I wont have chance to post after the 20th (my god thats 10 days away :shocked:)

Im also planning on doing a few spin-off's to 'The Wind' in space, set on different ships (a bit like Star Trek)

[Magic]

I updated recently - any help?

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Chewy
Aye, I'm going to have to wrap up Life on P.S up early, cause I wont have chance to post after the 20th

Why?

BTW Part 3 is now available, including some links for background reading.

As far as any new characters, they may be added to the thread devoted to the characters after the next installment, when I can get round to it.

[Scarlett.]

Originally posted by Sticks
Originally posted by Chewy
Aye, I'm going to have to wrap up Life on P.S up early, cause I wont have chance to post after the 20th

Why?

BTW Part 3 is now available, including some links for background reading.

As far as any new characters, they may be added to the thread devoted to the characters after the next installment, when I can get round to it. going over to my grandmas until 24th, then spending the rest of the holidays on the Xbox 360

[Sticks]

By the way, how does my season four compare with my season three or the between season Vignettes?

Is it still Labyrinthine and confusing?

Come to think of it, if you recall Lord of the Rings, that was quite complex at times.

If you want to see seasons one and two there are

Here for Season One (2001) (http://www.stickings90.webspace.virginmedia.com/saga/default.htm)

And here for Season Two (It was a real short season and was cancelled after three instalments) (http://www.stickings90.webspace.virginmedia.com/trial/default.htm)

[Scarlett.]

I'll have a look, LoTR was confusing at times:hugesmile:

[Sticks]

Confusing, wait till you see the new part four

Will do the new characters later.

[Scarlett.]

Kool:spin2:

[Sticks]

You may notice that some of my hyper links are to Wikipedia articles about issues touched on in the story line. Later on it might be interesting to discuss them in and out of context of the plot, like the surveillance society, how we treat POW's

The question, should it be discussed in this sub forum of the serious debates sub forum?

[Sticks]

Part 5 is out

I just hope I can get to do my Season four finale of the Saga of the Mystical Realms before I have to go away for Christmas.

[Sticks]

The final part and epilogue for season four has now been put up

Enjoy :thumbs:

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Sticks
The final part and epilogue for season four has now been put up

Enjoy :thumbs:

I noticed I had done some typos :blush:

They are fixed now

How did my season 4 compare with my Season 3 of this mystical Realms saga?

Season 5 will follow some time in the New year

[Scarlett.]

Hopefully I'll be back soon to post the concluding episode of LOPS and carry on the Resistance

[Sticks]

You may have noticed, that I have renamed all the thread titles of my Mystical Realms Sagas story line to add in which season they are.

(As a treat, I have been working on Season Five, so later today or tomorrow I may post the prologue at least.)

Getting back to the season titles, I appear to start off with Season Three, the reason being that Season One Aired on the defunct Channel 4 Reach Forum and Season Two was on my blueyonder website and went for three episodes only and was not concluded, but I decided that it would be canonical. If you want to read season one "The Arrest of the Spirit of True Love" and Season two, "The Trial of the Spirit of True Love" you can find a link to them here (http://www.stickings90.webspace.virginmedia.com/mythology.htm)

However, I thought I had tried to use this franchise before on TiBB, and I did

This in 2002 (Of Trolls and Troglodites) (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=1263#pid16586) which never got completed

And this in 2003(The Spirit of True Love's Last Legacy) (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=27309#pid42166) which was also not completed. (This one referred back to Of Trolls and Troglodites which also was not completed)

Both these attempts to continue on from Season Two, both seemed to have elements of what I am deeming is the official Season Three, the murder of the Spirit of True Love, the removal of the Lord Low Troll and a civil war in the Mystical Realms.

Because these two attempts ran into the sand, I am not deeming them as canonical in my Parthenon.

Meanwhile I have been working on Season Five, which will explore more of the Mystical Realms customs and practices and bring in a new mortal character to adventure beside the main hero Graeme Andrews (Who shares my first name, only :blush: )

[Sticks]

I have now done part 1 of my season five, a few days early

[Sticks]

If anyone is interested I have just posted up episode two of my Mystical Realms Fifth season, and it has been a hard episode to write, as it includes the first ever love scene I got to write :blush: plus other emotionally intensive stuff

[Sticks]

My season five continues a pace with episode 4 up this morning

There seems to be a delay on the page loading, I have pm'd James if there is a reason. I know each episode is quite lengthy and I use ullustrations from elsewhere on the net, so I am not sure if that is the cause.

:conf:

If you can get it to load, Enjoy

[Sticks]

At long last I have finally finished Season 5 - Mystical Realms Sagas Emperor of the Trolls (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=77501) with the final episode and epilogue :dance:


I now need to take a break - if it will let me :laugh: before I start season six

If anyone has been following it, let me know what you think, especially the Season five cliff hanger :whistle:

I seem to be getting like CSI or NCIS :blush:

[Sticks]

Some break huh

Season Six - The Facility Returns (http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=78807)

I bring back an old adversary and introduce new characters.

If anyone if following my dribblings :bored:

[Sticks]

Anyone out there? :shrug:

How are we doing guys?

How do we rate as authors?

[Sticks]

Doesn't time fly

Chewy, Are you doing anymore of The Wind while BB9 is in play?

I am still tweaking my season seven première.

I had planned to launch this weekend, but because of the task in BB9, this may be delayed until after the first eviction.

BTW what did you think of the trailers I did?

[Sticks]

Hello?


Have now done three episodes of my epic, I am probably going to regret asking this but how does this compare with the previous creations I have done.

I have been experimenting, kind of with different styles, plus I was adding in plot re-caps of earlier stories from my franchise.

[Scarlett.]

I thought it seemed easier to read somehow, cant place me finger on it lol
Keep up the good work

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Chewy
I thought it seemed easier to read somehow, cant place me finger on it lol
Keep up the good work

So how did season seven compare?

Did anyone get through it :blush:

[Scarlett.]

I thought it was quite good
I havent read all of it yet (cant find time lol)
but I'll get around to it:thumbs:

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Sticks
Remember this is the thread for commenting on peoples efforts, rather than breaking the flow, if they like me, do things episodically.

:dance:

Just a reminder - This thread is for commenting on the stories we write without breaking the flow, especially where they are episodic, unless of course the author explicitly invites contributions in their thread.

Out of interest, for those who made it through season seven how does season eight compare? I designed this story to deal with a loose end I left in seasons one through three, and another loose end referenced in season six and seven.

[Sticks]

I have also renamed this thread from the original Fan Fiction Feedback to reflect the renaming of the section and it's move to general interests.

[Sticks]

Can I remind certain posters that this is the thread for giving feed back on the stories / poems that are done in this section

[Lewis.]

I think Tibbenders is proving to be a real hit?

[Sticks]

Regarding Satanic! ~New Horror Story~, the last chapter was on 15 February 2009, what happened to chapter 4?

[Sticks]

Yet another reminder about this thread, if you want to comment and give feed back on any of the creations without interrupting any creative flow, should they be episodic.

I started this thread way back when I was doing my Season Four of The Mystical Realms Sagas - Seems such a long time and a world away back then.

[Sticks]

A question, re my story "The implements of the state" in spoiler tags for those who have not finished it.


By flagging it as a Mystical Realms story, is that revealing too much?