My Life is Average

[Lewis.]

http://mylifeisaverage.com/

HAHA Nicky. This site is Amazing. Just random little one liners that are not even funny, but are.

"I was at the local supermarket today and noticed they were giving out free samples of chips. The sign said one per customer. I took two. No one noticed"


Post some of your favourites

[Lewis.]

Today, I decided to start my diet. I ate a donut. I'll start it tomorrow


Today, I shaved my legs with the Venus Razor. I did not feel like a Goddess


PMSL. I Love this site

[Harry!]

First time of me on the site, They are actully quite funny!

[Lewis.]

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She yelled out the name Tommy. My name is Tommy


Today I installed a program and it asked if I had read and agreed to the terms and conditions. I hadn't, but I clicked 'yes' anyway. The program didn't know I lied, and began to install

[bronaaaa]

Today I turned 11. I did not receive a letter from Hogwarts. MLIA

[Lewis.]

Today, I had a milkshake. It did not bring all the boys to the yard

[Dom:D]

Today, someone asked me when I was due. I'm not offended because I am pregnant

[Harry!]

Today, I kissed a girl and I liked it. I'm a guy.

Today, I was watching Dora the Explorer with my younger sister. Dora told us to point out the blue ball. We didn't. She found it anyway.

[Nicky.]

HAHA! I was just gonna say, you totally posted this because of me!


Lemme find my fave one!

[Nicky.]

Been there, done this.

Today, I was playing the running game on Wii fit where you keep the controller in your pocket and jog in place. After a while, I got tired, so I took the controller out of my pocket and shook it up and down so it thought I was still running. It believed me. MLIA.

HAHA!

[\PJ/]

My curtain just shook,there is a moth behind it.

[Ninastar]

LMAO I love ALL of these!

[Lewis.]

Today, I forgot to put my phone on silent during class. No one called me anyway


Today, I sampled a song on iTunes. Then I downloaded it illegally



Today I was eating chips in a meeting. It sounded really loud in my mouth, but no one else seemed to notice

[bronaaaa]

Ha I love these :hugesmile:

[Harry!]

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box. His dick wasn't inside.

lol

[Christina]

LOL these are funny, i liked the Venus/Goddess one :laugh: and also the milkshake one!

[Lewis.]

Today I was watching tv and the game show host said we will b back after these messages don't go anywhere. I went to the fridge, he still hasn't found out

[\PJ/]

The ballifs knocked today i didn't awnser.i jumped out the window insted.

[MR.K!]

Today I had rice. I'm asian. MLIA

Today, Someone checked me out. I was at Walmart. MLIA.

Today I couldn't think of anything interesting to twitter so I stole a story from MyLifeIsAverage. People said it was funny and clever. I am not funny. Or clever. Just average. LMAO

[\PJ/]

A smelt fish when i was in town today i turned round and there was the sealife centre.

[Lewis.]

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield

[MR.K!]

Originally posted by LewisLeona
Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield

:laugh2:

[\PJ/]

Today felt like summer even though i have the heating on.

[Lewis.]

Today in school I hit my funny bone on a desk. I did not think it was funny

Today, I went to see a movie and when it said to turn my phone off, I only silenced it. Nobody cared

[Lewis.]

Today, my friend tagged a bad photo of me on facebook. I untagged it

[Lewis.]

Today, I leaned back in my chair. I leaned back to far, so I panicked and grabbed the table in front of me. I'm ok

[Conor]

Today, I forgot my calculator and I had a final exam. It's okay though, it was an english exam.

Today, I woke up in Vegas. I wasn't too excited, I've lived here my whole life.

Today, my friend asked me if I liked her shirt. I said yes. I didn't really like it.

This morning when I woke up, I couldn't see. So, I turned on the lights.

Today, my boyfriend called me saying he couldnt go out because he was sick. When I drove over to his house to surprise him with a "get well soon" card, he was not making out with my sister. He thanked me



:laugh3::laugh3:

[\PJ/]

When i say pu you say see.

[Lauren]

"Today, my teacher saw me texting under the desk and grabbed my phone. She didnt grab my penis. MLIA."

[Lewis.]

Today, a Tic-tac got stuck sideways in its container. I tapped it with my hand and dislodged it

[Christina]

LOL!

[Twilight]

Today, prior to riding an intense rollercoaster, a young girl warned me not to put my arms up, since they would get ripped off. I put my arms up. They're still attached far as I know. MLIA.
PMSL

[MR.K!]

Today, I felt a lump on my chest. But it's okay, it was my breast. MLIA.

Today, I went to a restaurant, but they didn't have a vegetarian selection. That's OK considering I love meat. MLIA

Today, my parents walked into my room as I was taking drugs. They were proud of me. I usually forget to take my allergy medicine. MLIA

Today I had sex with my secretary. She is my wife. MLIA.

[MR.K!]

Today, I ate Mentos and drank cola at the same time. I'm fine. MLIA.

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. But it was ok since I knew I'm adopted. MLIA

Today, I was eating chips and seven layer dip. Just to make sure, I counted the layers. There were seven. MLIA.

[Twilight]

Today, my dad had a knife and was crying in the kitchen. Now, we have freshly cut onions. MLIA

Today, I had sex with my best friend. But it's okay cuz we've been married for 3 years. MLIA


Today, I pushed my grandma around. It's okay, she's in a wheelchair. MLIA
pmsl

[sol]

Last night I wet myself whilst asleep. Don't worry, I fell asleep on the toilet. MLIA