Ketman
02-07-2009, 12:59 PM
4.23 a.m. - Burst of Italian opera fills the house. Sree, Dogface and Marcus struggle out of a deep sleep. Sree eventually ambles towards the phone...
Dogface: "Go, go, go..."
Sree pauses by the phone.
Marcus: "Pick it up, Sree!"
Dogface: "Pick it up, Sree, quick!"
Sree doesn't pick it up. Drops his hat instead. Picks up his hat. Puts his hat on his head. Straightens his hat on his head. Then straightens it some more.
Sree: "What is the song?"
Marcus and Dogface: "I scream, you scream..."
Sree picks up the phone.
Sree: "I scream, you scream...we all scream...um..."
Marcus: "..for ice-cream"
Sree: "We all scream for ice-cream.."
Marcus: "Can I take your order.."
Sree: "Can I take your order, please"
Big Brother: "This is Big Brother. Big Brother would like to order the following ice-creams. One lemon ice-cone, with a strawberry sauce and a wafer. One mint choc-chip cone with a chocolate stick. One double-scoop cone, with one scoop of bubble-gum ice-cream and one scoop of strawberry ice-cream."
Sree (putting down phone): "Oh...I can't do this."
Dogface: "What is it?....How many?"
No answer
Dogface: "Sree?"
Sree: "One er...one er...oh...oh no...one lemon ice-cream with bubble-gum."
Dogface: "Bubble-gum sauce?"
Sree: "No. Just bubble-gum." (Picture that, if you will)
Sree: "And..er..one vanilla ice-cream... with chocolate chips...."
Marcus: "How many altogether, Sree?"
Sree: "Sorry?..."
Marcus: "How many altogether?"
Sree: "Three."
Dogface: "What's vanilla with? By itself?"
Sree: "Yeah...one vanilla ice-cream...(pause)... and another ice-cream as well..."
Dogface: "Which one?"
Sree: "One mint choc chiff...mint choc chip, or..?"
Dogface: "Yeah..."
Sree: "Is there ice-cream, mint choc chip, yeah? Marcus?"
Marcus: "You didn't say anything. How'm I supposed to know?"
Dogface: "You should have shouted them out."
Sree (looking at clock): "Woh woh woh!"
Dogface: "What's on the choc chip?...Is it chocolate, choc sauce? Bubblegum?.... Strawberry?"
Sree (sadly): "I don't know.."
Dogface: "Toffee?"
Sree: "Chocolate sauce only....think so."
Marcus: "C'mon hurry up!"
With every order wrong, Sree picks up the ice-creams and flies towards the Diary Room like a lost fart in a wind-tunnel.
I hate to say it, but he will be missed. There might be no more comedy on this scale until Dogface gets to be Team Captain in the Pub Quiz.
Dogface: "Go, go, go..."
Sree pauses by the phone.
Marcus: "Pick it up, Sree!"
Dogface: "Pick it up, Sree, quick!"
Sree doesn't pick it up. Drops his hat instead. Picks up his hat. Puts his hat on his head. Straightens his hat on his head. Then straightens it some more.
Sree: "What is the song?"
Marcus and Dogface: "I scream, you scream..."
Sree picks up the phone.
Sree: "I scream, you scream...we all scream...um..."
Marcus: "..for ice-cream"
Sree: "We all scream for ice-cream.."
Marcus: "Can I take your order.."
Sree: "Can I take your order, please"
Big Brother: "This is Big Brother. Big Brother would like to order the following ice-creams. One lemon ice-cone, with a strawberry sauce and a wafer. One mint choc-chip cone with a chocolate stick. One double-scoop cone, with one scoop of bubble-gum ice-cream and one scoop of strawberry ice-cream."
Sree (putting down phone): "Oh...I can't do this."
Dogface: "What is it?....How many?"
No answer
Dogface: "Sree?"
Sree: "One er...one er...oh...oh no...one lemon ice-cream with bubble-gum."
Dogface: "Bubble-gum sauce?"
Sree: "No. Just bubble-gum." (Picture that, if you will)
Sree: "And..er..one vanilla ice-cream... with chocolate chips...."
Marcus: "How many altogether, Sree?"
Sree: "Sorry?..."
Marcus: "How many altogether?"
Sree: "Three."
Dogface: "What's vanilla with? By itself?"
Sree: "Yeah...one vanilla ice-cream...(pause)... and another ice-cream as well..."
Dogface: "Which one?"
Sree: "One mint choc chiff...mint choc chip, or..?"
Dogface: "Yeah..."
Sree: "Is there ice-cream, mint choc chip, yeah? Marcus?"
Marcus: "You didn't say anything. How'm I supposed to know?"
Dogface: "You should have shouted them out."
Sree (looking at clock): "Woh woh woh!"
Dogface: "What's on the choc chip?...Is it chocolate, choc sauce? Bubblegum?.... Strawberry?"
Sree (sadly): "I don't know.."
Dogface: "Toffee?"
Sree: "Chocolate sauce only....think so."
Marcus: "C'mon hurry up!"
With every order wrong, Sree picks up the ice-creams and flies towards the Diary Room like a lost fart in a wind-tunnel.
I hate to say it, but he will be missed. There might be no more comedy on this scale until Dogface gets to be Team Captain in the Pub Quiz.