But as lots of people in here have pointed out, including other mods, it's more a case of new people settling in than deliberately being ignored. It's not a conscious thing that is ever done. Every single member that has ever posted anywhere on this forum was probably "ignored" for a bit, when they first started, even you.

And exactly - you do it to people you get on with, which is exactly the same thing that happens in the chat thread with a number of people that post in there, so I don't really understand why you brought it up, unless you're implying that established members having banter like that with one another is somehow off putting to people that don't post in there as often? Which, again, is something you say you do to the people you get on with on here? It's surely no different.

I actually miss the days when I was ignored, I was the original 'thread killa' remember that Josy?
Now I seem almost impossible to ignore, it's a cross I have to bear.

I actually don't think this forum is as cliquey as some other forums I've been on.

When I first started posting here so many people messaged me to welcome me, which is something I've never really had on other places.

Yes me, you and LT the popular clique

Well no theres no comparison there at all, im almost 100% sure that me telling someone to piss off does not make other members feel left out.

And I'm 100% sure that the chat that goes on in the chat thread does not make other members feel left out, demonstrated by the fact that new members always end up posting in there? :shrug:

How can you be 100% sure when you yourself admitted you were ignored and also multiple members have said it throughout the thread. :think:

https://typeset-beta.imgix.net/rehos...to=format&q=70

Me making my way in to dismantle it from the inside.

Sure. Pick my post to pieces and remove only the sections that work for your argument that numerous people in here, including other mods have disagreed with. You can't just say it's alright for you to do it, but anyone else who does it is part of a clique, and making other people feel unwelcome. There's no difference at all. If you want an example of a clique, why the hell are there two chat threads anyway? Surely if clique forming is something you want to avoid, then it makes sense for us all to post in the same one, but the house of pablo is still standing. My point is at what stage does a group of people who get on chatting together go from group to clique in your mind?

No one said being friends with others was cliquey behaviour rob...

But that's exactly what we're being accused of?

No it isnt, not sure about others in the thread but ive never compared being friends with people to clique behaviour infact you seem to be the one doing that.

I don't think theres any need to keep emphasising this 'other mods' part tbh. Believe it or not, the mod/admin team are not a hive mind and actually disagree on a fairly regular basis...so really what other mods have said has no bearing on your convo with josy

That said, again I dont see what josy has said thats so bad? Again to bring up...you are simultaneosly claiming that the regular chat thread posters never ignore anyone, and that when you started posting there you were ignored.

As I have said a couple of times in the thread, yes the chat threads can seem cliquey from the outside looking in. When you read through them and regularly see new people being ignored. Yes, if the poster persists then they tend to also end up 'part of the gang' for want of better words. But the being ignored at the start still did happen (which you and others admit yourselves). Which is why people reading it for the first time can be put off posting (maybe along with the OTT graphic sex talk, which thankfully seems to have been moved to PM recently rather than the main thread). As there is a large chance, that they will actually be ignored, even just to start with. Noone wants to be ignored...I think we can agree on that part at least :laugh:

Yes, it can be the same in other areas of the forum too. Yes this happens naturally when groups of friends are chatting together. Yes, if people ignore being ignored and just keep at it, they will not be ignored anymore. And yes maybe ignoring people is not actually meant. But it happens...as has been agreed on. This does not mean it is an intentional thing or that y'all are doing it to be mean or whatever. Just trying (yet again) to explain what its like when you are not a regular.

I posted in the chat thread yesterday, as a regular member but not a regular chat thread poster and seemed welcomed with open arms (though this may have just been 1. As I am a mod and 2. As I was being extremely negative about a member most dislike) so it is not always that non-regulars are ignored. There also seems to have been more of an effort to get new people to actually join in on the thread, which is a great thing. But to deny it happens, whilst admitting it happens, is a little silly

Finally, I think some of this argument may possibly be a bit of a disconnect with what clique means. Again, as discovered earlier in the thread...to me it means fairly tight nit friendship group. To others it seems to mean mean girls type friendship group who will actively be awful to people outside that group.

It's clear who you're referring to just from observing your general attitude towards them.

If I want to reply to a post then I will, and I'm sure that's the same with anybody else... but if someone is starting up a discussion about a television show I don't watch, or something I cannot relate to, I generally won't involve myself in that discussion, whether they're a regular poster or just posting on the odd occasion. If someone posts something and is ignored, I personally don't see it as a massive issue - nobody is under any obligation to reply to every single post they see. Alternatively if a poster was to directly start a discussion with somebody in particular, it's very, very rare that they'd be ignored by them for no reason.

Also maybe worth thinking about, is to an outsider its fairly daunting to approach a group of people who know each other fairly well. So they may FEEL more ignored than they are. If that makes sense. Say the pst the make is something that generally would not ge a reply no matter who posted it, they may feel that its just because it was them, as they are already a bit...lets say nervous...about putting themselves out there.

This goes for all places on the forum, not just the chat threads.

Now, this is not the fault of the members involved. Its just one of those things. But this goes a little way of why newer members (and some older members) feel very ignored.

I tend to make more of an effort to reply to newbies threads...as even though it was a long time ago, I remember making threads and getting no replies while watching other threads on the same thing (or something similar) fill up instantly. Hell that shows how long ago this was doesn't it...when replies were hundreds in a few mins on season :laugh:

It can't be clear because again I'm not referring to any member specifically, I mentioned member/members etc in my post generally so I'm afraid you've got the wrong end of the stick there.

Also no one is saying you or anyone else has to reply to anything or anyone, a newer member being ignored in a chat thread was an example of why some members felt left out, it has happened a lot, in some cases there have actually been comments when a member posts in the chat thread or any other thread that's been met with replies like 'eww' 'why are you in here' and so on, it's happened....and those are the type of comments and behaviour that make some members feel unwelcome.

And then there's groups of members taking over threads with off topic comments and 'in' jokes, there's been situations were groups of members will go into a thread and 'pack' attack a member when they disagree with or get into an argument with someone that's part of their group of friends, all things that do happen and I would certainly describe as clique behaviour.

All this is what I'm saying though - we all do it, we've all had it done to us. Its nothing to do with unwelcoming behaviour, it's just normal human interaction. Nothing to do with mean girls cliqueness.

This is fighting talk. I'm telling.

There's a difference between feeling ignored and like a spare part as a new member who isn't as familiar with members as a regular poster is and actually consciously being excluded from a thread or a discussion.

Again...clique does not necessarily mean mean girls type behavior :S

:rolleyes: so not interested in your crap rn

Spot on.

you're not wrong

:oh: