Lyrics + Stage Directions

Nathaniel and Nouveau-Dale-Win run on stage wearing headphones, designer coats and beret hats holding a baguette. The stage is filled with dancers dressed up as frogs, snails and various other ********-esque creatures. Amongst them is one random Spanish man dressed as a lemur. The backdrop is the pink ******** spiral as well as several tents, trees and other scenery.

(Nouveau-Dale-Win)
Oh sometimes we go on ********
We play some rubbish that you've never never never heard before, oh no
But that's the fun of ********
Oh sometimes I go on ********
And I swear if you ever ever ever skip my songs oh no
I will beat you with a frog, k?

All background dancers bar the frogs pick up the frog dancers and whack eachother with them. The frog dancers make croaking noises.

Nathaniel and Nouveau-Dale-Win throw their coats off à la Bucks Fizz. Nathaniel dances by a DJ deck with the French flag imprinted on it and a Dell laptop perched on top, messing around with vinyl records and *DJing*.

(Nathaniel)
I'm your fan, now s'il vous plait, be my fan
Woot me Ammi, I'm playing Arianna Lee
I'll play some Eminem one day
Arianna first
Oh you like The Gossip?
Well I could play Heavy Cross, but that was just done
But here's something fun
Which Rolling Stones songs do you want?
Yes I've got a brand new playlist
It's filled with Hanson
Love Ain't Gonna Wait For You by S Club
I Was Born A Winner, Freddie McGregor
Same Old Brand New You by A1
I hope you woot that, because I am gonna play that
I found it like a needle in a haystack
Straight after that...it's Rebecca Black
Then how about some Rocky, A$AP

Noveau-Dale-Win jumps up and down rampantly as that is all his ******** character will allow him to do.

(Nouveau-Dale-Win)
Oh sometimes we go on ********
We play some Steps songs that you've never never never heard before, oh no
But that's the fun of ********
Oh sometimes I go on ********
And I swear if you ever ever ever skip my songs oh no
I'll slap you with a baguette (baguette, baguette, baguette, baguette, bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb)

Lights go black for 2.3 seconds before a burst of pink and yellow lights flash around the stage. The dancers have now advanced to taking baguettes and repetitively slapping the frog dancers with them.

(Nathaniel)
I stay up past half four.
I've got power, moderator
One second, just struck gold
A brand new video of Sticks for all of you
Plug it in, listen in
Skipping's not an option you have to listen to him
Witness this act of terrorism
No fear whilst he passes the delicatessen
I know, let's play Ministry of Sound
Oh God sake looks like it's the triangles now
Slower than ever won't hold me down
I'll probably still be here in another 5 hours
It's getting late, but it's my turn next
You all need to hear this song by Mêlée
No mehs please, been queued since 8
And don't bloody think about trying to kick me

Nathaniel and Nouveau-Dale-Win join together dancing whilst trying to get their own turn on the DJ deck, eventually both of them start slapping eachother with baguettes picked up from the floor of the stage.

(Nathaniel + Nouveau-Dale-Win)
Oh sometimes we go on ********
We play some rubbish that you've never never never heard before, oh no
But that's the fun of ********
Oh sometimes I go on ********
And I swear if you ever ever ever skip my songs, oh no
I'll throw snails at you, oui? Oui?!?!?! OUUUUIIIIIIIII!!!?!?!?!?!?

The dancers wildly begin to attack eachother with snails. The snail dancers refuse to take part in such savage cruelty and end up being used as part of the attack. A stage runner holds up a placard that has written in bold letters "IRONY".

Nathaniel is somehow on the ceiling of the studio. He falls straight into a snail, crushing and massacring it in the process. A parade of medical assistants run onto the stage crowding around Nathaniel and the snail immediately performing CPR. Nouveau-Dale-Win and all the other dancers also crowd around looking incredibly worried for the wellbeing of their companions. A Lithuanian man dressed as an ostrich is seen in the background chomping into a baguette and a packet of Doritos watching a previously unseen strategically placed television.

Nathaniel awakens and starts to speak again frailly.

(Nathaniel)
********, ********
I know you want to come to ********
Let's skip this, let's skip this
I cannot stand Ed Sheeran
Let's skip this, let's skip this
Never really was a fan of Amerie
Let's play this, let's play this
We all love a bit of The World's Greatest

Nathaniel jumps up and immediately begins to dance again. He is joined with Nouveau-Dale-Win as they relentlessly hop up and down in one area. The medical team and dancers in the background dance around in unison.

(Nathaniel + Nouveau-Dale-Win)
Oh sometimes we go on ********
We play 90s pop bands that you've never never never heard of before, no no
But that's the fun of ********
Oh sometimes I go on ********
And I swear if you ever ever ever skip my songs oh no
I'll murder your family, oui!!!!!!

The stage suddenly freezes over and a trolley spontaneously appears in the middle. Sticks runs onto the stage shouting "SOME IDIOT, SOME MORON, YOU DON'T PUT A TROLLEY IN THE MIDDLE OF A FROZEN STAGE". He is instantly captured by the animal dancers who throw him into the trolley and spin him around in the middle of the stage for fun, much to his bemusement.

Sometimes no one's on ******** :'(

Everyone bows their head and the stage goes pitch black.

Le Fin.

Stunning.

:laugh2: :love:

:amazed: Winner right there. Brilliant Mollie

Genius Mollster :love:

Harry Potter - Horcrux Of Me

https://p.twimg.com/AtR6ghmCEAACrJO.jpg

to the tune of:



*spotlight focusses on harry and voldamort*

*after a grueling battle to the death, harry and voldermort run up to scaffolding on the stage which represents a burning building, harry looks into voldermorts noseless face and breaks into song*

(START MUSIC)

Days like this i want to fly away
Take my owl and move really far away
Cause you blew me up
You broke me down
Like i was dumbldore in your mouth
You took my power
and drained it down,
but that was then and this is now
now look at me

This is the horcrux of me, that your never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the horcrux of me, that your never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw ya spells and ya wands
throw ya elevating cars
but ya not gonna steal my, soull
this is the horcrux of me that your never gonna ever take away from me, no

I just wanna throw my wand away
Get really pissed with ron and hermione
Cause you blew me up
Your spells were cheap
Was always wanting to tortue me
I ran far, you caught up with me up
but that was then and this is now, now look at me

This is the horcrux of me, that your never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the horcrux of me, that your never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw ya spells and ya wands
throw ya elevating cars
but ya not gonna steal my, soull
this is the horcrux of me that your never gonna ever take away from me, no

(PAUSE MUSIC)

*harry and voldamort fight on top of the scaffolding situated at the left side of the stage, whilst harry screams 'get off me, your not gonna break my soul*

*voldermort falls off the ledge of the scaffolding*

*harry slowly walks down the scaffolding and onto the main stage, and looks upto the stage lights, and sheds a single tear*

(restart music)

Now look at me im still alive
My glasses are still on my face
You wont ever steal my soul again, ever, no oh
So you can keep those horcruxes
They dont mean nothing anyway
In fact you can steal all of them, yeah yeah
EXCEPT FOR MEE

(PAUSE MUSIC)

*hermione and ron join harry on stage, and hug each other and then they all break into a dance routine full of vigorous body movements*

(restart music)

This is the horcrux of me, that your never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the horcrux of me, that your never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw ya spells and ya wands
throw ya elevating cars
but ya not gonna steal my, soull
this is the horcrux of me that your never gonna ever take away from me, no

*ron and hermione walk away and leave harry to ponder on what would of happend if voldamort killed him, he sheds another tear, screen fades to black*

Le Fin.

:D

Merci everyone :love:

:laugh2:

oh god, lmao

:laugh2: Brilliant Andrew

/ah

Biography

After disgracing the noble countries of Bosnia & Herzegovina by failing to win Eurovision twice, Euro Pop Sensation and keen knitting pattern expert Fomas Kelchalavikaktischskyloff turned his back on the world of celebrity and twine and took off on an adventure of self discovery. The adventure however only lasted for 5 days as his time in Thailand was cut short after his kidney was stolen by a Thai Ladyboy named Meyloo Sunahmi, an ordeal that is currently being adapted into a Direct to TV Movie with Gabourey Sidibe playing Fomas, Danny Devito playing the role of Meyloo and Laura Linney as Hector, Fomas’ Hispanic sidekick.

Fomas was at his lowest ebb after being deceived by the scheming HeShe and fell into a deep depression that lasted a year until a light in the form of a catholic priest saved him from his own darkness, a gesture which awakened a deep religious belief within Fomas resulting in him moving to Vatican City to pursue a life of faith. With Eurovision drawing near Fomas decided to try again and win for his new found home, armed with his hot beats and lyrics and with God at his side how could he possibly lose?

Stage Directions

The arena darkens and a huge stained glass window depicting St Ke$ha comes into view and with it several priests who begin to repeat the line ‘The Power of Christ compels you’ while a growing hymn rings out. The Priests’ chanting grows louder with the hymn until they they can’t shout any louder at which point all becomes quiet as a loud robotic voice finishes their chanting with a’...To work it’ and a giggle at which point Fomas bursts through the Stained Glass Window as his homage to Ke$ha begins.

Throughout the song he can be seen dancing with slutty nuns in confessional boxes as well as choirboys on a stupidly big bed as well sauntering across a wall separating various gay people. Typical Fomas behaviour.

At the bridge before the final chorus a gigantic crucifix complete with a larger then life Jesus is lowered above the audience, as Fomas reaches the final repetition of the chorus Jesus explodes in a piñata-esque fashion which douses the audience in a potent mix of Tequila and Rohypnol. The song climaxes in a group line dance section involving actual cardinals that ends with a cloud of chloroform being released upon the accompanying choir which leads to the priests dragging choirboys off in various directions.


The Power of Christ Compels You...
The Power of Christ Compels You!
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
....To wurk it

Hot and sanctified
If you’re one of us, then take a ride
up aboard our pope mobile
Where all the nuns have sex appeal
And yes of course we rule 'cus reading Psalms is so damn cool
And no, you don’t wanna mess with us
Just look what happened to Judas

I’ve got that Pope Hat on my head
Seven choir boys in my bed
I'm old and all sith-like
So let’s go-o-o (Let’s go!)

CHORUS:
Tonight we’re praying hard
Like we're reading Esdras
We're keeping gays apart
You know We're Patriarchs
The Catholics are stars.

We’re repenting like we’re jews
We're always on the news
Applying kids with booze
You know We're Patriarchs
The Catholics are stars

JC turn it up
It’s about damn time to preach it up
I’m so sick of being so serious
'Cus My Pope Dress is too fabulous

I’m just preachin’ truth
I’m telling you ’bout the **** we do
We’re confessin’ our sins, sleepin’ with nuns
Repressin’ it all, hittin’ on boys (HARD!)

I’ve got that Pope Hat on my head
Seven choir boys in my bed
I'm old and all sith-like
So let’s go-o-o (Let’s go!)

Tonight we’re praying hard
Like we're reading Esdras
We're keeping gays apart
You know We're Patriarchs
The Catholics are stars

We’re repenting like we’re jews
We're always on the news
Applying kids with booze
You know We're Patriarchs
The Catholics are stars

JC turn it up
JC turn it up
JC turn it up
JC turn it up

Tonight we’re praying hard
Like we're reading Esdras
We're keeping gays apart
You know We're Patriarchs
The Catholics are stars

We’re repenting like we’re jews
We're always on the news
Applying kids with booze
You know We're Patriarchs
The Catholics are stars

:laugh2:

thank you mollie!

thank you everyone :love:

its my first ever TiBB eurovision so its nothing amazing

:laugh3:

Dezzy does it again

:laugh2:

I particularly liked the Sith comparison :laugh:

Dezzy :amazed: outstanding

Just caught up these have all been amazing :worship: :laugh:

France has been my favourite but I've loved them all.

Dezzy :laugh2: Brilliant.

Now I'm out of character :tongue: thank you all for submitting songs, they're all excellent. Even Marc's. :D

Although there were fewer participants, I feel like the quality was much higher this time around. Well done everyone :love: