Underwater Secret Agent EX Able Seaman Rochester (now known as slightly less Ex Able Seaman Rochester) still reporting for duty Cap'n my Cap'n! Here is my report...

I am still floating in a recumbent state 7 fathoms down, 23 degrees north off the coast of Cadiz. Whilst there is little entertainment to speak of - I have seen rather a lot of aquatic life and I was delighted to be spoken to by a rather drunk dolphin who claims to know several crew members personally. He told me I could go and be a corporate spy on HMS Devious Dextrous. This I duly did and I managed to transport myself (by the power of thought) into the crow's nest only to be ordered back down to Davey Jones' Locker where I have since dutifully remained. Would you find it useful for me to carry out a headcount of seahorses, octopii or indeed drunken dolphins? Or perhaps I could sing a ghostly sea-shanty and terrify the fishes on your behalf? In death, as in life, I do like to be useful. I have met a very traumatised thresher shark whilst down here. He refuses to speak until 2034 though; so I can glean no vital information from him. I have noted a few golden Ferrerorochers in the large treasure chest in the sunken Spanish Galleon I am bobbing along next to. In addition, a shoal of beanie hats swam by at 0400 hours this morning. I have been watching out for a rat which other crew members seem to think will be joining me, however, I have nothing to report on that score at the moment. You may rest assured I will keep a vigilant dead-eye open for the arrival of this pestilent creature.

Whilst I have never been one to labour a point; you will (no doubt) remember that I advised you that my dying wish was that the ship's cat Witchazel the really good ratter would be taken care of in my absence. I was just wondering if anyone has fed her yet?

I remain Sir, your loyal and obedient servant.

EX ABS ROCHESTER AKA SLIGHTLY LESS ABLE SEAMAN ROCHESTER (DECEASED)

At this current time i am unable to board HMS Samuel as i am sailing my solo ship but be assured i am with you and sailing alongside you and have you covered as best i can against any incoming slimy weasel attacks.

Admiral Sam acknowledges the individual work of all his vessels Bobnot, not only those aboard the Samuel. Keep up the good work chief! :hugesmile:

We need to mount an amphibious mission to get our old Rochester back, I think the sea water is making him crazy! :joker:

I have intel that the attacks launched last night hit their targets and caused a lot of butthurt.
It is not yet known if the amount of butthurt caused will be fatal but it was indeed substantial.
operation evict weasel boy is underway and more attacks are planned this very evening and i expect more weasel boy butts will be hurt.
HMS Samuel i have your 5.
Signing out Pirate BOB :joker::dance::elephant::joker:

:joker:

We should set aside the life jackets for all those who may have jumped ship after last nights rocky crashing aboard the Devious Dexter. We accept turncoats aboard the Samuel all are welcome! :elephant:

Noooo Cap'n my Cap'n Sir - I am totally Sea-Total. Not a single drop has passed me lips. I am now orf to sing Stormy Weather to the thresher shark. Hopefully he will recover and divulge some valuable information. He keeps staring into the middle distance a blithering on about having to live in someone's wooden leg or something...

Don't know why - there are birds up in the sky
Stormy weath....

Oh no! Cap'n my Cap'n - we are being followed by an ALBATROSS!!

What can this mean..?

:joker:


Actually scratch that, there's no point saving him he's totally lost it. :joker:

Mad as a mermaids itch he is!

Off to the brig with you sunshine, I hope you like mouldy bread. :dance:

Think He's dead ??? How about a maritime seance ? You should ALL be ashamed and don't blame Dolphy.

Sure, you got an ouija board? I can't blame Dolphy he is no longer with us I'm afraid. :bawling:

:laugh3::laugh3:If you believe that you will believe anything. Makes 18-30 cruises look sophisticated.SUE SUE SUE !!! :devil:

I have any device necessary to reach beyond the tomb. Just relaxing at the mo. Dolphy is safe and sound with me in the bath. Still stoned out of his mind but glad to say , still caring and sharing his stash. We need room service, food, food please. What a waste of breath that was

Oh quit your bellyaching you got your gin and tonic in the end! :p

[QUOTE=mr rochester;6249060]That cat was the best curry I have ever had.

I asked for ice and a slice??? One lousy G& T .Big deal.

- emerges from cabin with bed head looking for breakfast -

Had weird dreams of onions in rat traps and the king scurvy rat running between them sobbing and muttering obscenities. Could only make out the odd word.

Owned....by.....Sam.....curses....

Get your own damn Gin and Tonic next time, I am the Captain if anything you should be serving ME! :devil:

I'm off to swab the decks and polish the manky brass. BUT Dolphy has helped me to be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY #############

What's that on your hair? Is that vimto candyfloss?

I think you've come down with a case of the Mr Rochester, you better get down to Medbay for a look in.

How the hell did that get there!! Don't tell me I've started sleepwalking again.

[QUOTE=anne666;6249872]Ooooops,that curry was no cat. It was dolphin :devil:

[QUOTE=smudgie;6249920]Pieces of eight! first Mate Smudgie has gone and provided the wrong meat for the curry.

This is unacceptable, don't make me promote The Hermit! :devil: