Shahbaz Chaudhry (BB7)
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Shahbaz is the reason people are never really that keen to re-watch BB7, because you have to get through
that in order to get to any of the good bits (i.e. week four). Week one of BB7 is probably one of the most uncomfortable weeks of non-CBB5 BB, and Shahbaz was a huge part of it. And while there’s definitely an appeal to him (see: his VT, and don’t watch anything else of the series), there’s the… other side, and that’s why he should have been cut a long time ago.
So yeah you know I joked earlier about Amy and Sally being clinically insane and… wow, oh boy. Part of the casting process that year involved wanting housemates with the shock factor, having seen success in previous years with “guess what, Nadia’s a man!” and “a
black Tory? Tell me more”. In their search for entertaining ~characterz~, they found a man with Tourette’s who was told to apply for Big Brother by his dead friend in a dream, a porn star with body dysmorphia and a crippling fear of pretty much everything, a young person going through a gender identity crisis, an anorexic woman and whatever the f
uck Glyn was. It was stunt casting to say the least, and the stuntiest of them all was a mentally ill ‘**** ****’ who
threatened to commit suicide on live TV. Three guesses as to who I’m talking about there.
Yes, Shahbaz arrived, fresh from a Girls Aloud-soundtracked VT, and immediately tried to make friends with/shag all of his fellow housemates. He was an early favourite with both the audience and the other contestants, being just on the right side of terrifying (let’s call it ‘keen’). However, anyone who knows anything whatsoever about BB7 knows that this didn’t last long.
So yeah, then came everything else. The unpleasant first week of BB7. Coming onto Glyn. Invading everyone’s personal space for some reason. Probably trying to invade Glyn at one point or another. Being obsessed with Joan Crawford which is quite gay isn’t it. Being rejected and, as we know all too well, bullied by the rest of the house (led by Richard who later tried to a similar thing with Michael just saying). Throwing the house’s food in the bin whilst they slept. Being locked out of the house and having his clothes stolen whilst Nikki came up with ideas of what would “hurt him more” (seriously I’m glad we’ve seen a more grown up Nikki since BB7 because boy that was not a good look). Being sent to Coventry. Being both awful to live with and having awful people living with him.
Then, inevitably, he walked and was quickly forgotten about by the housemates as they found other housemates to turn against – just thankfully not to the level that they turned against Shahbaz. And that was Shahbaz, who was overall probably the most irresponsible casting choice Big Brother’s ever made? I know the supposed psych tests this show has are often ridiculed but how on earth did half of these people pass any sort of examination? Frankly, they knew exactly what they were going to get with Shahbaz and how his time in the house was going to end, i.e. badly. It’s hard to look at his time in the house as anything other than a series of highly disturbing events. But then Aisleyne came in and sprinkled fairy dust on the kingdom and everything was well again yay!!!
I’m off to bleach my brain. In the mean time, I save
Belinda because ironically, writing about her
won't keep me up at night.
