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-   -   Should Gay Couples Be Allowed To Adopt? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66790)

BBfan46 12-10-2010 03:41 PM

I think it's fine I mean you can't argue that it's that unfair on the kids because 'normal' parents can be awful at looking after their kids. I think that surrogate mothers are better we not get a gay couple to inseminate a lesbian woman with sperm and have a baby that way they have both a mother and father, I know things can't work out like that but it makes sense to me.

BB_Eye 12-10-2010 04:06 PM

This thread reminds me of BBUK4LIFE moaning about gays non-stop last year. :bored:

Jords 12-10-2010 04:08 PM

Not from a baby, as I think it should be up to the child if s/he would be okay being adopted by a gay/lesbian couple.

This is because I think its better for a child to be brought up within a normal environment. I.e. Having a 'mother' and 'father' role. Gay/lesbian parents may encourage other students at school to bully the adoptee, or the adoptee themself may feel uncomfortable, because well, it would be odd to say you have 2 mothers or 2 fathers. Obviously you could argue living in a foster care isnt a normal environment either but thats just how I feel about it, however if they wanted to a adopt somebody lets say 7+, where they have an understanding of sexuality and were fine with the situation, then yepp Id find that perfectly acceptable. :)

cupid stunt 12-10-2010 04:16 PM

nah its wrong, the poor kid would get bullied to **** at school

Barbie 12-10-2010 04:22 PM

I understand some want to adopt kids but from the kids point of view is it not better to have a male and female role model and a bit of dare i say it "normality" in their home life?
When i say normality i mean have a mum and a dad, they have been through care or whatever and schools tough as it is, let alone when you have 2 dads instead of a mum and a dad

Locke. 12-10-2010 04:23 PM

No. Simple as that.

Patrick 12-10-2010 04:25 PM

Personally if I were a kid that was adopted and grew up with two dads I'd hate it.

I suppose it's up to the kid.

Tom4784 12-10-2010 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patrick (Post 3842440)
Personally if I were a kid that was adopted and grew up with two dads I'd hate it.

I suppose it's up to the kid.

Would you rather grow up in a children's home?

lostalex 13-10-2010 02:05 AM

and people say American's don't believe in science??? well this thread proves Brits are just as adverse to science.

The science has shown over and over again, that children raised in same-sex homes are no different, no better or worse off, than those raised in opposite-sex homes.

but don't let the science get in the way of yur bigotry....:spin:

(am i on TiBB, or the daily mail??? sometimes it's hard to tell)

Angus 13-10-2010 07:21 AM

It's not the fact of being brought up in a loving, stable home by same sex parents that kids would have to worry about, but the frankly homophobic and bigoted attitudes of people who will pass on their prejudices to their own children who, in turn, will make these adopted kids' lives a misery at school.

I can't believe some people think it is better to allow children to languish in children's homes or be passed around like parcels to various foster parents, rather than allow them to be brought up in a home where they will wanted, loved, and valued.

Angus 13-10-2010 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie (Post 3842428)
I understand some want to adopt kids but from the kids point of view is it not better to have a male and female role model and a bit of dare i say it "normality" in their home life?
When i say normality i mean have a mum and a dad, they have been through care or whatever and schools tough as it is, let alone when you have 2 dads instead of a mum and a dad

The simple fact is that there are nowhere near enough potential adoptive parents, especially those willing to take on older children. To deprive a child of a loving, stable home because of the lack of a "normal" couple coming forward is cruel and shortsighted - all kids have a fundamental need to belong in a family and feel loved and cared for as individuals.

There are plenty of truly despicable, irresponsible, uncaring, and neglectful heterosexual parents out there doing a fine job of messing up their kids' lives, so that argument doesn't fly. Kids only have a hard time at school with bullies who have acquired the prejudices of their own, supposedly "normal", imperfect, heterosexual BIGOTED parents.

joeysteele 13-10-2010 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angus58 (Post 3843517)
The simple fact is that there are nowhere near enough potential adoptive parents, especially those willing to take on older children. To deprive a child of a loving, stable home because of the lack of a "normal" couple coming forward is cruel and shortsighted - all kids have a fundamental need to belong in a family and feel loved and cared for as individuals.

There are plenty of truly despicable, irresponsible, uncaring, and neglectful heterosexual parents out there doing a fine job of messing up their kids' lives, so that argument doesn't fly. Kids only have a hard time at school with bullies who have acquired the prejudices of their own, supposedly "normal", imperfect, heterosexual BIGOTED parents.

I agree, I have thought on this one a lot, for me as long as the careful checks are made initially as in all areas of adoption, as long as the child is happy and clearly being cared for and as long as follow up checks are done merely as a precaution as they should in all cases for a while then I cannot see any argument against allowing any format of couple to adopt a child if it is clear they can give them love and security.

The child's welfare must always be uppermost in the minds of the authorities but as long as that is met then of course, Children have a right to as good a life as can be provided for them and if that's with a gay couple who can do so, so be it. It would be more wrong to deny the Child that chance.

bananarama 13-10-2010 09:39 PM

Two mums or two dads is not a balanced gender upbringing bullying or not......A definite no...........

Benjamin 14-10-2010 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bananarama (Post 3844760)
Two mums or two dads is not a balanced gender upbringing bullying or not......A definite no...........

What about children from single parent families? They don't have a balanced gender upbringing, and most are fine for it.

Tom4784 14-10-2010 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bananarama (Post 3844760)
Two mums or two dads is not a balanced gender upbringing bullying or not......A definite no...........

Okay, shall we take children away from single parents homes too? Since that's not a gender balanced home either. These children will obviously be better off in care as they'll have LOTS of foster parents to look after them!

In case you missed it, I was being sarcastic. I don't think it's a valid excuse to deprive a child in care of a loving family enviroment because of gender. Straight couples aren't instantly perfect and neither are gay couples but both can be good parents if you give them a chance. I'd rather grow up with a permanent family rather then being shifted pillar to post in the foster care system.

Stability is more important then the gender of the parents and if ANY couple straight or gay can provide that and a loving home for a child then I see no reason not to.

Vicky. 14-10-2010 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dezzy (Post 3845205)
Okay, shall we take children away from single parents homes too? Since that's not a gender balanced home either. These children will obviously be better off in care as they'll have LOTS of foster parents to look after them!

Exactly.

I can see only two reasons mostly being bandied about on this thread. Children being bullied at school because they have two fathers/mothers...and the children needing a male AND female rolemodel.

Kids are bullied for absolutely anything these days. Being overweight/hair colour/wearing glasses or braces/not having the latest trainers or gadgets/parents being 'ugly'/having a lisp/being too quiet...I could go on all day.

The bullying argument just doesn't hold up with there being so many different things to be bullied for. Chances are, the child will be popular/have friends...or be bullied for some stupid reason anyway.


And as Dezzy said...the role model thing, what about single parent families. Some of you might say that the child still sees both their parents...not necessarily. For example...a baby girl, being brought up by a single mother who shares a house with her sister. The father got with someone else and moved to america before the child was born, leaving no contact details or anything... who are YOU to say that the child does not have a normal life because she has no father figure around and will likely never know her dad?


I am all for gay adoption. I imagine the childrens lives would be much happier than if they are stuck in care. Many may even be happier than if they were adopted by a straight couple...depends on the parents.

Even if there is a very slight chance they might be bullied.

But lets face it, if they arent skinny, goodlooking, outgoing and well off...with david beckham dropping them off at school each day, they probably would have been bullied for something anyways. :)

Kerry 14-10-2010 04:26 AM

I've not read this thread, simply the title - but what makes a gay couple any lesser a parent than 'Joe Bloggs' ??

Sunday 14-10-2010 01:18 PM

No, IMO I dont think its fair on the child.

Beastie 14-10-2010 02:54 PM

Yes.

Angus 14-10-2010 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunday (Post 3845443)
No, IMO I dont think its fair on the child.

I suppose it's fairer on the child to be brought up by strangers being paid to look after them in a children's home or foster homes and who have no emotional investment in their upbringing?:rolleyes: What makes anyone here think that a person's sexuality has anything at all to do with their ability to give love, affection and commitment to a child in need of stability and security?

As regards the point made about single parents - better to have one good parent, than two rubbish ones, or one good parent and one rubbish or even abusive parent who undermines the other. I should know because I was that one good parent left to bring up my children alone after an acrimonious divorce, and I have had the honour of being told that by my two, now grown up, well adjusted and perfectly normal and happy sons. They did not suffer from having just a mum to bring them up - It's the quality of parenting, not the quantity or gender of the parents, that counts.

lostalex 14-10-2010 03:24 PM

Did any of you guys see the newest episode of "world's strictest parents" on BBC three. they had a gay couple that were parents on the last episode.

Angus 14-10-2010 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 3845789)
Did any of you guys see the newest episode of "world's strictest parents" on BBC three. they had a gay couple that were parents on the last episode.

I missed that, but I did watch that documentary on recently about the millionaire gay couple who have had 4 children by surrogate mothers, and very happy and well adjusted the kids are too.

joeysteele 14-10-2010 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angus58 (Post 3845701)
I suppose it's fairer on the child to be brought up by strangers being paid to look after them in a children's home or foster homes and who have no emotional investment in their upbringing?:rolleyes: What makes anyone here think that a person's sexuality has anything at all to do with their ability to give love, affection and commitment to a child in need of stability and security?

As regards the point made about single parents - better to have one good parent, than two rubbish ones, or one good parent and one rubbish or even abusive parent who undermines the other. I should know because I was that one good parent left to bring up my children alone after an acrimonious divorce, and I have had the honour of being told that by my two, now grown up, well adjusted and perfectly normal and happy sons. They did not suffer from having just a mum to bring them up - It's the quality of parenting, not the quantity or gender of the parents, that counts.


Exactly, the quality of parenting is all that matters,

Legend killer 14-10-2010 10:34 PM

Of course they SHOULD , why should liking a bit of battered sausage stop them from being allowed to adopt

BB_Eye 15-10-2010 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 3845789)
Did any of you guys see the newest episode of "world's strictest parents" on BBC three. they had a gay couple that were parents on the last episode.

Were they the soft parents or the strict ones?


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