I have many too Vicks, but here is one which is preying on my mind because of upcoming trip.........

I'm going to Germany next week to stay with a couple who are getting married (invited to wedding, staying in their house all week as they are not going on honeymoon - spent all money on big wedding)

Last time I went to Germany was to see a male pal then go watch Bundesliga, staying at his house. At Edinburgh airport I had McDonalds. When I arrived in city, was met from the train by his partner and kids - her kids wanted to go to McDonalds. Out later that evening we had McDonalds.

1 McDonalds at best of times does funny stuff to my insides. 3 McDonalds + shedloads of dark German beer was not lying well. I was soooooooooo scared I'd poo on my mate's spare bed in sleep so went to toilet and literally peed out my bum for ages. Then sat there long enough I fell asleep on the the pan!

He had to work next day, so came in for morning ablutions hours later (so drunk I'd forgotten to lock the bathroom door) to find me snoring on toilet sat down.

B' stard took several digi photos before waking me up and threatening to send them to all the folks we know in 6 European countries!

Hope I don't do this on the wedding night!

Haha Ian :joker:

I would have died :eek:

Mine was **** compared to everyone elses, It's well annoying, Stuff like this happens to me all the time but as soon as you ask me I forget. Typical.

Actually, they are coming back to me slowly.

I was once kegged at school (for those who dont know...a 'funny' thing to do to others, pulling their trousers down) on the one day I had gone commando :laugh:

somebody kicked the toilet door down on me at school the once.

and somebody tried to strangle me aswell at school.

You poor b@stard lol. There's always something dodgy about McDonalds. I took a bite out of a Chicken Legend and it sprayed me in the face somehow and I was drenched. My boss was sat next to me when it happened

Oh your time will come lol. Clothes rippage is always a novelty ;)

I actually dropped my boxers in the changing room once.

lmfao I did that to someone!

I mean I pushed a door in on someone at the toilet, I don't strangle people.

well the both that done that to me got exspelled.

and somebody tried to cut my finger off with a pair of sissors in year 2.

Think of the movie Trainspotting - at least I did it in the toilet!

Lol, primary school dramas always ended with scissor threats

I have never actually watched trainspotting.

I have also luckily never had a poo related incident. Though the rest make up for it :laugh:

D: That's a bit too far lol.

And lmao. Oh I also remember there was this kid who lives in America now, but he was like really geeky and everything and had no friends, I told him to cut his hair once and he did. There was this massive piece missing from the side of his head, and apparently he had this horrible stepmum. Was scared for ages she'd find out and come and hunt me down or something. She never did though :D It was in yr8 I think.

Not even a thing yet but I'm panicking..........at this wedding next week I'm wearing a kilt. I'm totally rubbish at remembering how do do-up at the straps n buckles that hold the heavy thing in place. Nprnally @ Scottish weddings the guys help each other get dressed in wedding party for this. But I'll be alone and trying myself.

I was saying to Naimh, I can easily see mr kilt landing on my ankles when I'm dancing with bride's auntie!!!! Traditional Scottish - you know what that means......0

Naimh said "remember to post pics in MtM". I did answer that could be Meet the Member :hugesmile:

In trainspotting the book and movie - Spud falls unconcious in his gf's bed at her parents' house. Wakes in morning to find he's crapped the bed, goes to take the sheets to washing machine to find the fanily sittlng have breakfast.

Her mum thinks it's just pee problem so pulls sheets from his arms and all of the family get covered in diahorrea splatters! Funny book and movie. Watch it sometime..

It's threads like this that make me miss Thomas C. Even though his stories were blatantly made up, they were hilarious to read.

Anyway, this might be a good place to vent about my embarrassing weekend. I was getting ready to go home from Boro on sunday from a weekend out. We took a 20 minute walk to the train station in Redcar (a nearby town we were staying at) when I realised I forgot the power supply for my laptop. We rushed all the way back to the house and persuaded my mate's sister, who recently got her driving license, to drive us back to the station.

Lo and behold, we missed the train by a few seconds and so we persuaded her to give us a half hour drive into Middlesbrough for the first time in her life to catch the train we would have switched with from the station there. We made it on time, but I felt like an absolute twat for making her do it all the same, so I offered her £10 to make up for it in what now seems like an extremely vulgar gesture. She refused it and it's just as well.

When I got on the train, I realised I lost my open return ticket so was forced to pay for another single and I only had just enough money. It was at this moment I realised I am a walking calamity.

What else did I learn from this? Buy an iPod touch or smartphone and never take my laptop anywhere with me again. :bored:

I cut a massive chunk out of some girls hair when I was in reception. She stole my toy when I went off to do some reading :mad: needless to say I got excluded for a week and had to sit in the naughty corner for a while after that during play time

I still hate that bitch almost 20 years on

Enough of bringing things up from a while ago. Will only kick it all off again :bored:

Deleted some posts...again

I miss Thomas C's hilarity too.

My embarrassing moment came on my 21st birthday. We were in a nightclub and my friends were buying me shot after shot, making me lash them in, when all of a sudden I felt a stirring in my bowels and new something was up, or coming up. Anyway, I proceeded to sprint off in the direction of the toilets, only to get to the tiled hallway when I erupted, and to top it all off I slid and fell in my own puke. Now beat that!

Throwing up on a night out is always the worst. I threw my obligatory takeaway up over the counter after a heavy night out once :blush2: It was actually disgusting because it was like a fountain and like a browny red colour, not carrot and pea sick

I've not been back since!!

i took a **** on a dual carrage way

It's the worst. At least yours was obviously at the end of the night though! I had to waddle out of the nightclub like an idiot. Cringe!

Right. Cleaned this thread AGAIN.

Try to keep on topic and refrain from attacking each other :D

Lol. She had it coming. Two girls from my school still hate each other 10 years on after one of them cut the other's hand with scissors for no apparent reason and it got infected.

once when i was at school i was talking to two boys and one of them like disappeared but it turned out that he was like on the floor crouching behind me and then the other boy shoved me over him and it was so embarrassing and hurt a lot.