What Pyra?

Dontcha play innocent wif me !!! :nono:


:laugh2:

:thumbs2:

:blush2:

The Talking Clock Joker
 

The Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom, which contained a wall mounted brass gong.

"What's the brass gong for?" asked one of the guests.

"That's my talking clock" the drunk replied. "I'll show you how it works."

The drunk gave the gong a resounding whack with a hammer, and a loud irate voice from the other side of the wall shouted "FFS, IT'S 1 AM, YOU B*****D!!"

LMAO! :D:D

*shakes head and groans*!!


This is worse...

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

More 'words of wisdom'. - still funny (but, sadly, true!)


Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.

Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

No wonder teenagers are confused!!

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

:laugh2:

I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in just under two hours.

I know it's only 6 words, but all the same I felt proud of myself.

I'm easily amused.:joker:

Ah...very good!!! ;)

:)




I spent 3 hours last Sunday at the mother in law’s graveside.

Silly bugger thinks I'm digging a fish pond.




Mate from work just texted me asking what IDK means .
I replied ' I don't know'
He says ' Feck . Nobody I know knows what it is '

:)




I spent 3 hours last Sunday at the mother in law’s graveside.

Silly bugger thinks I'm digging a fish pond.




Mate from work just texted me asking what IDK means .
I replied ' I don't know'
He says ' Feck . Nobody I know knows what it is '

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

This blind man goes into a drugstore and starts knocking stuff off the shelf with his cane.
The manager comes over and says, "Can I help you sir?" "No, I'm just looking."

A woman in her fifties is at home happily jumping unclothed on her bed, squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks:



"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"



The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says:



"I don't care. I just came back from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old."



The husband replies:



"What did he say about your 55-year-old arse?"



"Your name never came up," she replied

^^chuckle

" Tim Curry and Tim Rice should open an Indian takeaway. They could call it Tim's " leeeeeeehehehehehhehehehehehehhehe..hee

Oh no! Oh no! Oh hellz no. :laugh2:

Was watching the womens golf earlier, they were sh*t at driving but were bloody good with the iron

At the risk of being disowned by the sisterhood, that was hilarious MTVN :D

:laugh2:

Old Mr Jones went to his surgery for his annual health check. The practice nurse said to him, Mr Jones you have to stop masturbating.




Why, he said.






Because I'm trying to examine you she replied

:joker::joker:

How do you do that spoiler thing?

[spoiler] your text here [/spoiler ]

Without the space.