..what looked like a vinyl copy of Aladdin Sane...but there was something jumping out at them..was it someone trying to warn them?...the lettering said ‘Watch that Man’.....’what man’?..Shaun wondered....could it mean Iceman....he had heard of the pathetic creature Iceman..one time he had listened at the door when his mammi-ammi had been talking to a neighbour about him...apparantly, this Iceman pathetic creature was a gimp slave to Nim(otherwise known as Niamh of the Magic Potato)..she kept Iceman chained up in a cage...’no backbone’..Shaun had heard mammi-ammi say....’such a pathetic little green fellow..unlike the masterful Gerard...now there’s a real man, if I ever saw one’......

..anyway, Shaun snapped out of his fantasies..all of this thought about Gerard, green Icemen and gimps wasn’t going to solve this situation..although he did find it quite pleasurable....

..meanwhile, back in Captain Remy’s boat...Ammi awoke from her sleep..at first she couldn’t remember where she was or what had happened...but looking over at Nim (Niamh of the Magic Potato) and Nathan Dumbledore..it all flooded back to her..the loss of her beloved children...an all-consuming sadness came over her..but it wasn’t to last for long...because suddenly.....

:laugh: This is brilliant

....a huge gust of wind lifted the boat and sent it spinning through the air at tremendous speed. Whilst spinning Ammi caught a glimpse of goblins, elves, fairies and pixies in the wind and, terrified, clung to Nathan Dumbledore who was whispering incantations under his breath to keep the evil spirits at bay but he was distracted and a huge demon broke through the wind and stood before them in the boat....."My name is Marcus" he boomed and went on to explain he had spent months walking the netherworld disguised as a nice guy but now was back to avenge all who had wronged him but needed a vessel to transport him.....Ammi and Nathan Dumbledore quaked with fear until the boat came to an abrupt halt spilling them out into the snow covered forest again......scrambling to their feet they decided to try and out run the demon.....dashing into the cover of the forest they ran headlong into........

....Livia, The Great Queen of the Forest..dressed head to toe in a black leather catsuit..her long dark hair flowing in the breeze...although she was known throughout the land for her beauty, wisdom and compassion..she didn’t suffer fools either...and Ammi and Nathan Dumbledore felt a bit foolish right now...before they had the chance to explain to the awe inspiring Queen...her sharp voice pierced their ears...’Why are you simpletons running..don’t you realise you could knock someone over?’...

..’The Demon Marcus of the bb12 cannibal tribe is hunting us down’ said Nathan Dumbledore, in a very calm voice..determined not to show his fear to the Queen...’Ammi will never be reunited with her beloved gimp fantasising son Shaun, if we are eaten’......

..Livia then turned to her handmaidens Mollie and Munchkin and they exchanged a knowing smile....
..’We have been expecting you’..said Mollie...

....’bbbuuutt...hhhhow..could you know......’..Ammi stammered...because her speech impediment was well known throughout the village....as well as the fact that she talked far too much....

...but, just as Mollie was about to reply..Munchkin pointed to a figure fast approaching....

..as he came into view, Ammi could see he was a lovely red headed very muscle bound and lovey abs as well young fellow....

'I am Marcmedown, beloved and betrothed, to Livia' he said....'we have been expecting you, but all will be revealed in time..first I have a story to tell you'....

..'Good god!!' thought Ammi, wondering what the 'all' was that was about to be revealed....Marcmedown had a bit of a reputation...:evilgrin:....was she ready for this...was anyone ever ready for that.....well, obviously Livia was.....


...as they all sat down on a boulder on the ground Marcmedown's story started to unravel....here is what he told them.......

...Long ago in the the The Mystikal Rhelms Baron Sticks used to be a well loved and respected man. The people of his island loved him greatly and the other lands around him looked up to him. But that all changed one Christmas Day about six years ago. His wife, Baroness Lee, who looked after Happyland, was put under a spell by the evil merlock Omah. She got caught by him as she was attending to her garden and he started hexing her with words from The Book of Jordan'. This sent her into a blithering bimbo mess and he then brainwashed her to become his slave. Baron Sticks was helpless and never saw Merlock Omah or Baroness Lee again. For weeks he refused to leave his castle, despite many attempts by his sassy aide, Scottinia. Finally he emerged from his bedroom, wide eyed and looking angry. He started talking about how Christmas was a time of heartache and so would find a way to ensure it ceased to exist. And he did find a way. The trouble is none of us know this way is, but we do know it involves your son, Locke, the witch MMI, Ninastar, and one other. The one other is what we don;t know also. But we believe they are to be used as some sort of sacrifice. We do know however that you and your son, Shaun, are they key to stopping this terrible event from happening'.

Ammi was speechless at this whole tale. She had so many questions, like why her son, and how was she supposed to stop anything?

'I need to lie down for a minute', she replied, getting up and turning away from the group. She found a log that didn't have much snow on it and lay down.

***

Shaun, Joe C and GypsyGoth, who had finally finished weeping, had continued their walk to TiBB Town. Shaun was still holding the shoe and map, wondering if anybody in this town could help them.

'Down there', GypsyGoth said pointing down the hill. This was the first time she'd spoken since stabbing Arista and Shaun found her voice to be very soothing.

He looked down the hill and saw a grand looking town that looked as though it was made all from sapphire. 'Wow, that's so pretty', he exclaimed before following the others down the path.

As they arrived to the town entrance, guards blocked them from coming in.

'Halt!', replied one of them, who was painted head to toe in black bodypaint, 'Ye may not enter unless ye sassy, like'.

Shaun did not comprehend anything he just said as he was too busy checking out the other guard who was painted head to toe in red. 'We here on peace and a quest', replied Joe C, 'It's important we enter'.

The guards just looked at them and refused to move. Shaun was frustrated and folded his arms, in doing so dropped the shoe. The guards gasped and looked at the shoe.

'I am Dagger of the Black, I grant you permission to enter, like', spoke the guard all in black. 'I am Moon of the Red, I grant you permission to enter, like', spoke the guard in red. With that they stepped aside and opened the sapphire gate.

'Go see our ruler,l like, and return her shoe to her, like. She'll be expecting you, like', both guards said in unison. Shaun found himself a little annoyed at the over use and misuse of the word like, it almost annoyed him as the misuse of an apostrophe.

Joe C and GypsyGoth started walking into the town, Shaun picked up the shoe, gave one last cheeky glance to Moon and hurridly ran after them.

'Prepare yourself', Joe C muttered to Shaun, and with that out lept a fierce and sassy woman covered head to toe in a sapphire bodysuit.

'Weeelcome, like. This be my town, like, made of sapphire, like. And I be the ruler, like. My name is Saph, like' she announced in an over the top flamboyant manner that Shaun rather liked.

'Nice to meet you Saphlike', he replied with a little smile. 'Noooo my dear, like, that is not my name, like. My name is Saph, like', she responded with a cheeky chuckle, 'Ah, you found me shoe, like. Wonderful, like. I knew you'd find it, like, follow me, like'. She started skipping further into the town bounding past the shops, houses and the fountain that were all made from sapphire.

'I suppose we best follow', Joe C said with a small laugh...

..so they all followed Saph..like... ducklings following their mother...all waddling in a little row like...

..but before they reached any further, a Spanish henchman to the Dark Lord Novo jumped out in front of them, brandishing a sword...... they all took a step back with fear....

‘Hello..my name is Inigo Montaya you seem like a decent fellow, I hate to kill you...but you killed my father...prepare to die....’ ...he said....

..they wondered who he was referring to...maybe he had made a mistake like...but he appeared to be looking at Shaun..with a sinister determination ......

..’you seem like a decent fellow too’ whispered a terrified Shaun....’I hate to die..’...he didn’t really mean it though...the fellow seemed like a psycho to him....but he didn't want to die....

.’.Inconceivable’.. ..shouted a voice they recognised...as Karlos the musketeer, he was accompanied by his side-kick Dingle Dongle Doogle.......
...’how could this poor young thing be responsible for killing your father?’......

..’what’s going on like’ asked Saph..’and who let you through the gates like?’.....

..but then they were all distracted by a background commotion and turned around to see.....

...That GypsyGoth had started weeping again.

'Oh, no, put your swords away', Joe C demanded to the others. Not one to see a lady cry, they followed the command and slid them back.

'My dear, like, what is wrong, like?, Saph gently asked GypysGoth while rubbing her shoulder, 'I know like we all need to get to my palace, like, all of you follow me, like'. She went forward with an arm around GypsyGoth and Shaun, Joe C, Inigo Montaya, Karlos and Dingle Dongle Doogle all followed as they made their way to the palace...

Ammi awoke from her slumber, feeling slightly less groggy but more than a bit chilly. She could see Nathan Dumbledore, Nim and the others sat by a fire. She walked over and Nim handed her a cup of warmed Scottish Whiskey, 'Here ye go, get this down ye neck' she said. Ammi smiled graciously, took the drink and had a sip. It instantly warmed her insides.

'What do we do now?, she asked looking at Nathan. He glanced up from the fire briefly before loosing his gaze back into the dancing flames. 'We carry on heading to TiBB Town', he replied, 'but we are going to have to take a detour, The Dark Turtle and Baron Sticks knew we were on that boat, we fear somebody is spying on us'.

'Yes, now I have no bloody boat', complained Captain Remy. Ammi felt a little sorry to Captain Remy as he'd tried to help her out and now his boat was destroyed. 'We'll try and fix your boat', she promised, and she meant it. The poor guy, he looked devastated.

'We must go immediately', Nim chipped in, 'Time is running out'. She beckoned for Ammi and Nathan to move forward but Ammi looked back and saw Captain Remy, Queen Livia and the others were staying sat by the fire. 'What about you guys?.

'We must stay, we have work to be done here, they are on their way now to get you', stated Queen Livia in such a tone that Ammi suddenly felt terrified.

Before she had time to complain, a screeching sound erupted through the icy forest. 'Oh, no, it's Kizzy!' screamed Nim, 'Come we must go!'. She grabbed Ammi's hand and they took off through the forest, with Nathan right behind them.

'Will they be ok?', asked Ammi through a panting breathe. Before anyone could respond they heard the sound of people screaming and then it went silent. Ammi didn't think that was good news before hearing Kizzy start wailing, it sounded like a victory wail.

'Faster, come on!', shouted Nathan, 'It won;t be long until she catches up with us and she will have brought reinforcements'. They dashed through the icy woodlands, with the occasional branch whipping Ammi in the face as they ran, bringing tears to her eyes as it stung her frozen skin.

'There, over there', yelled Nim, suddenly jutting right and dragging Ammi with her. Up ahead Ammi saw a door in a tree. Nathan flung it open and before Ammi knew it they had run thorugh the door. She heard it slam behind her. They stopped running, all panting and Ammi looked around. The door had taken them to...

The new branch of

Starbucks!

A fate worse than death

Oh no Nim wailed, I don't have my loyalty card

This is no time for a mocca late Nathan said sternly as he saw Ammi queuing up at the counter

Then to their horror, they noticed that one of the customers was Baron Sticks, sipping on an Americano in his metal coffee mug. (It was a cunning plan, because he knew if he brought his own mug he saved 25p)

"You Nathan shouted, "How could you stoop to such evil"

"My normal; coffee shop was not yet open and this was the only place available with a toilet" Baron Sticks replied, "Besides I hear that they will be paying £20m to the UK government.

Baron Sticks then got up, "Must dash, have a meeting with the directors of Smith Kleine Glaxo and Monsanto. I was doing some sub contract work for them and the department of defence over some super soldier project for the US Department of Defence. It looks like their cutting corners may have messed up the project"

Baron Sticks thought for a moment as he put his empty cup in his bag, "If you see that black turtle can you tell him his prescription is available at Lloyds the chemist, we had to switch from Boots because some irritating anti capitalist lot said Boots were not paying tax or something of that kind. Bunch of lefty hippies if you ask me, I bet they are working and claiming as well"

The response from the group was a collective huh! Was this Mr Big really the super villain they had been lead to believe, or was it some cartel of big faceless business men, involved in shadowy defence projects that had gone awry.

Just then a barista approached them with a tray of cups, "Would you like to try a promotional of Caramel Lattes'?" she asked the group