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-   -   'A million children growing up without fathers' (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=226066)

reece(: 12-06-2013 01:05 AM

I'm one of those!:wavey:

lostalex 12-06-2013 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reece(: (Post 6053672)
I'm one of those!:wavey:

And you turned out just fine!

...mostly...

the truth 12-06-2013 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 6053659)
I agree that any woman who abandons her family, and contributes nothing financially should face exactly the same obstacles that fathers have to face to see their kids.

I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

no its not....the law is biased from the start so every statistic from that point is perverted by the perversion in law.

the truth 12-06-2013 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben (Post 6053658)
Wow, could you be a bit more of an ass when replying, I was just sharing an opinion. My point was, not everyone who grows up without a father becomes a menace to society. Most people I have met/know who grew up without a father are not.

the point you've made is simply not worth making....no one claims in 100% of all cases the fatherless child is worse of, but in the majority they are , that's a fact proven over decades.

lostalex 12-06-2013 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6053735)
the point you've made is simply not worth making....no one claims in 100% of all cases the fatherless child is worse of, but in the majority they are , that's a fact proven over decades.

and would those children do any better in a single father home? are you saying that the ABSCENCE of a MAN is the problem? or are you just saying that a 1 parent home in general(1 mother, or 1 father) is the problem?

Do you think that single fathers do any better than single mothers? Do children do better in a single mother home? or a single father home? What do your statistics say about that? I'm curious.

enlighten me please.

the truth 12-06-2013 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 6053743)
and would those children do any better in a single father home? are you saying that the ABSCENCE of a MAN is the problem? or are you just saying that a 1 parent home in general(1 mother, or 1 father) is the problem?

Do you think that single fathers do any better than single mothers? Do children do better in a single mother home? or a single father home? What do your statistics say about that? I'm curious.

enlighten me please.

I don't generalize about an entire sex like you, your biased dismissal of fathers as inferior is an embarrassment

The facts prove that over time the fatherless child on average is hugely disadvantaged, just as the motherless child is also disadvantaged
The problems we see now with millions of fatherless children is a tragedy created by a bias in law which you clearly support.

enlighten yourself please

lostalex 12-06-2013 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6053773)
I don't generalize about an entire sex like you, your biased dismissal of fathers as inferior is an embarrassment

The facts prove that over time the fatherless child on average is hugely disadvantaged, just as the motherless child is also disadvantaged
The problems we see now with millions of fatherless children is a tragedy created by a bias in law which you clearly support.

enlighten yourself please

so you are specifically saying that "fatherless" children are disadvantaged, that's very different than just saying SINGLE PARENT househoulds go worse.

so are you saying that fatherless households are the problem? or are you saying that single parent households are the problem?

You seem to be the one being very GENDER specific. You seem to be the one OBSESSED with MEN.

Niamh. 12-06-2013 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6053729)
no its not....the law is biased from the start so every statistic from that point is perverted by the perversion in law.

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

Vicky. 12-06-2013 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 6053659)
The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

I think this is probably because of how having kids works..the male CAN just piss off if he doesnt want one. The female cant. Yeah there are options..but its not as easy as just walking away for the mother.

I'm not saying this is true of every case, but it has happened to quite a few people I know..in relationships that seemed steady, got pregnant, man freaked out and buggered off leaving the woman holding the baby so to speak.

I agree with niamh though that there are a LOT of men who do want responsibility for their child..but the woman is an arsehole. We are sort of in that situation now with gavins ex. My brother in law is in exactly the same situation (court cases and such constantly, the girl doesnt even bother showing up half the time :rolleyes: ) too.

the truth 12-06-2013 02:52 PM

the law simply has to be unbiased and even handed, otherwise this figure will rise by millions year after year and kids and families will become ever more dysfunctional unhappy and unruly....a good father is as essential to a childs life as oxygen in your lungs. Don't let these idiot spineless politicians convince you otherwise.

Vicky. 12-06-2013 02:57 PM

The thing is..the law cant completely be blamed for this statistic(about 1m not having a father in their lives fullstop). Yes, the courts generally award main custody to the woman, however its very rare for them to say the father cannot see the children at all. The problem of no access at all is usually caused by either the mother being awkward, or the father not wanting to know.

arista 12-06-2013 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 6054012)
I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.


Thats Evil.

Kizzy 12-06-2013 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6053735)
the point you've made is simply not worth making....no one claims in 100% of all cases the fatherless child is worse of, but in the majority they are , that's a fact proven over decades.

I'm sorry but you are wrong to suggest there is only one contributory factor here, I totally reject the 'new right' nonsense that the 'fabric of society' has been undermined by the growth in lone parents, there are many many other things to take into consideration on this issue.
Changes in economic status, social standing, educational attainment.
You cannot tar a whole section of society with one brush.
The breakdown of the family has been happening over many years, but you have to add the whole social stratification of what has gone before to fully understand whatis happening in the now.
Your very black and white views are quite disconcerting.

the truth 12-06-2013 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy (Post 6054732)
I'm sorry but you are wrong to suggest there is only one contributory factor here, I totally reject the 'new right' nonsense that the 'fabric of society' has been undermined by the growth in lone parents, there are many many other things to take into consideration on this issue.
Changes in economic status, social standing, educational attainment.
You cannot tar a whole section of society with one brush.
The breakdown of the family has been happening over many years, but you have to add the whole social stratification of what has gone before to fully understand whatis happening in the now.
Your very black and white views are quite disconcerting.

it does in the end come down the some basic truths, mainly that the law favors mothers over fathers which ends up corrupting the system and destroying families

as for you being disconcerted that is insignificant in the bigger picture....its Not as disconcerting as the millions more broken homes and fatherless children who on average have far less opportunities in life. still you being disconcerted is clearly more important than the millions of fatherless children:conf:

fruit_cake 12-06-2013 05:24 PM

seems to me that the courts merely reflect that in the vast majority of cases, the father just doesn't want anything to do with the children. Granted, that means that in some cases where the father does want something to do with his children it causes trouble.

I find it outrageous that when a father sticks with his kids he's championed whereas when a single mother sticks with hers, shes often seen to be some sort of sad case.

Kizzy 12-06-2013 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6054874)
it does in the end come down the some basic truths, mainly that the law favors mothers over fathers which ends up corrupting the system and destroying families

as for you being disconcerted that is insignificant in the bigger picture....its Not as disconcerting as the millions more broken homes and fatherless children who on average have far less opportunities in life. still you being disconcerted is clearly more important than the millions of fatherless children:conf:

That is simply not true.

the truth 12-06-2013 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy (Post 6055127)
That is simply not true.

Yes Im afraid it is true. Though of course many people do not want to hear the truth.

fruit_cake 12-06-2013 09:40 PM

it seems to me that most of those million children are growing up without a father because their father disappeared, and has little to do with the courts in the vast majority of cases anyway.

Kizzy 12-06-2013 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6056072)
Yes Im afraid it is true. Though of course many people do not want to hear the truth.

It's not the truth it's your rather warped perception of modern life, if it were the truth you would have evidence to back your claims.

the truth 13-06-2013 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy (Post 6056267)
It's not the truth it's your rather warped perception of modern life, if it were the truth you would have evidence to back your claims.

I have got evidence its all over the world all over the internet you clearly are refusing to accept the truth.

the truth 13-06-2013 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fruit_cake (Post 6056130)
it seems to me that most of those million children are growing up without a father because their father disappeared, and has little to do with the courts in the vast majority of cases anyway.

complete and utter generalized sexist biased nonsense

Marsh. 13-06-2013 01:50 AM

If your proof is so easily obtained why aren't you providing it?

Kizzy 13-06-2013 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6056596)
I have got evidence its all over the world all over the internet you clearly are refusing to accept the truth.

All you have is some half baked opinions and a blinkered perception to what the whole picture of what family life in the UK is.

Ammi 13-06-2013 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 6054012)
I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

..I agree, there are some very good, loving and frustrated fathers out there who would love more access to their children, but their ex-partners can use those children as a weapon to hurt them and make it so difficult..if then, say a father was to 'walk away' because he thought it was best for his child not to have to be caught up in a battle of bitterness, he would be seen in a bad light...I'm not saying this is always the case because of course every situation is different but in most cases it's not either of the parents who suffer the most, it's the child who unless there was abuse etc involved, would usually benefit from contact with both parents...

Kizzy 13-06-2013 09:54 AM

Unmarried parents have a rough time, when a couple divorce the children are discussed and in the main provisions made for them to have reasonable access to both parents.
This is not the case for unmarried couples, many are left in a no mans land with little help support or advice.
I would like legal aid to be available for all fathers to assist in mediating contact, for too long the onus has been on financial contribution.


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