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-   -   Joel Polyamorous is a posh word for immorality (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=278153)

Jamesy 26-05-2015 11:02 AM

Yeah the way she tried describing it at the start didn't sound at all convincing.

It honestly wouldn't surprise me if she just made it up to audition for Big Brother, just so she stood out of the crowd to the producers (if so it worked).

Either way, whether she's polyamorous or not. I must say she does come across a bit desperate in the house, jumping from one guy to another. Not that there's anything wrong with flirting with multiple people when you're single (everyone does it), but in that house and on this show she's coming across as a bit of a cheap slapper at the moment. Not that I'm being overly judgmental or anything...

DemolitionRed 26-05-2015 11:18 AM

I am in a polyamorous triad which basically means, there is me, my husband and another female. We remain monogamous (Polyfidelity) within that relationship; meaning we don't sleep around outside of that relationship.

What people often don't understand about polyamory is, its not all about ****ery; its about the ability to be in love more than one person. Where as Jade seems to like other men outside of one relationship and all those men need to be aware that she's seeing others (making it consensual), others, like us, will have more than one permanent lover living in the same household.

I have never been one to accept social norms and I have never been overly possessive or jealous of my partner. I love my partner loving another woman even though I'm madly in love with him...I guess that makes me different than the norm but so what? its not hurting anyone.

just thinkin 26-05-2015 11:25 AM

fair play demolition - nice explanation.

however shady jady does not feel like that - shady jady feels like 'different people give her different things' as she said in the first week, why should she not go off with somebody else and miss out on an amazing experience by sticking to the one person. Thats not polyamourus - thats 'out for what you can get'.

Also the fact that she says when she does 'find the one' all of this will stop and she will just be with the one person and he will just be with her.

thats not polyamourous or a different lifestyle.

That's just playing the field till something better comes along. she's a plonker.

smudgie 26-05-2015 11:29 AM

Nice enough lad, a bit pompous at times, he just needs to get laid.

DemolitionRed 26-05-2015 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just thinkin (Post 7811074)
fair play demolition - nice explanation.

however shady jady does not feel like that - shady jady feels like 'different people give her different things' as she said in the first week, why should she not go off with somebody else and miss out on an amazing experience by sticking to the one person. Thats not polyamourus - thats 'out for what you can get'.

Also the fact that she says when she does 'find the one' all of this will stop and she will just be with the one person and he will just be with her.

thats not polyamourous or a different lifestyle.

That's just playing the field till something better comes along. she's a plonker.

Thanks Just Thinkin, I just wanted to say something about the part you wrote that I made bold.

One of the main reasons I am in such a relationship/s is, no two people are alike. There are so many things that Chloe brings into my life that Steve can't and again, so many things Steve brings into my life that Chloe couldn't. I don't want to be the lover and partner of two people who have very similar personalities, I want to be the lover and partner of two people who are diversely different, whilst having good appreciation of those differences. The difference between Jade and me is, I need those personalities to merge together without conflict and all compliment each other.

Jade said something interesting at the start of BB. She said this was just something she needed to get out of her system now but would change once she was a little older. Perhaps I'm not comprehending what she means or perhaps I'm right in thinking that Jade is just into open sexual relationships that are neither serious or meaningful. To me this is more representative of swinging without being part of a swingers club.

Saying that, who am I to make judgement!!

RoseGarden 26-05-2015 01:28 PM

I actually think it was quite unfair of Joel when he said that. The Twins also said something like it was a posh word for being a creep or something like that. Polyamory is just another word for being in an open relationship. If the people in question meet an understanding then I don't see how it is wrong.
As it was previously mentioned, you wouldn't blast Jack for being a Virgin, Aaron for being Gay and Adjoa for being a Lesbian so what gives anyone the right for blasting Polyamory?
To each their own.

mrflibble 26-05-2015 01:28 PM

I think it's a posh word for 'sleeping around', but I think it's fair enough if he feels having multiple partners is immoral. I couldn't imagine ever having multiple partners, but if everyone is consenting they can do whatever they like and I feel it's totally moral. But I can also understand feeling uncomfortable about the idea - especially at 19 - and I think that's where he's coming from. Until a couple of years ago, I totally rejected the idea of even being with more than one person in your life (now I've softened and don't care so much), so I can definitely understand his way of thinking, but it does come out sounding a bit judgmental.

Crimson Dynamo 26-05-2015 01:31 PM

he is just calling her a fake. And he is right. She has such a high opinion of herself, its just a way of making her appear interesting but really its just a tiresome way of doing so.

Joel clocked her and good for him

RoseGarden 26-05-2015 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed (Post 7811060)
I am in a polyamorous triad which basically means, there is me, my husband and another female. We remain monogamous (Polyfidelity) within that relationship; meaning we don't sleep around outside of that relationship.

What people often don't understand about polyamory is, its not all about ****ery; its about the ability to be in love more than one person. Where as Jade seems to like other men outside of one relationship and all those men need to be aware that she's seeing others (making it consensual), others, like us, will have more than one permanent lover living in the same household.

I have never been one to accept social norms and I have never been overly possessive or jealous of my partner. I love my partner loving another woman even though I'm madly in love with him...I guess that makes me different than the norm but so what? its not hurting anyone.


Well Said :bigsmile:

Niamh. 26-05-2015 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 7811428)
he is just calling her a fake. And he is right. She has such a high opinion of herself, its just a way of making her appear interesting but really its just a tiresome way of doing so.

Joel clocked her and good for him

saying that being polyamourous is a posh word for immorality and calling someone a fake aren't even remotely linked :laugh:

Crimson Dynamo 26-05-2015 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 7811435)
saying that being polyamourous is a posh word for immorality and calling someone a fake aren't even remotely linked :laugh:

no :hehe:

i dont suppose they are

Ammi 26-05-2015 01:42 PM

..although I don't think Jade is as such and more just doesn't want to commit to a monogamous relationship because she finds other guys attractive while she's seeing someone...I do think that he was completely judgemental in saying that polyamorous was something that was immoral ..he may not agree with it and that's fine, an opinion..but to say it's immoral is casting a judgement that it's in some way wrongful/wicked etc...

Cherie 26-05-2015 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alex_front2 (Post 7810949)
Why don't some people believe that Jade is polyamourous or that Adjoa is a lesbian? Noone seems to have any problems believing that Jack is a virgin, Aaron is gay or that Danny is dull.

:laugh:

Kizzy 26-05-2015 01:53 PM

He's a stuck up little fool 'my mum shops at tesco but gives me £30 a week to do my shopping at Waitrose'...

'Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent (Joel) Starling?'

just thinkin 26-05-2015 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed (Post 7811395)
Thanks Just Thinkin, I just wanted to say something about the part you wrote that I made bold.

One of the main reasons I am in such a relationship/s is, no two people are alike. There are so many things that Chloe brings into my life that Steve can't and again, so many things Steve brings into my life that Chloe couldn't. I don't want to be the lover and partner of two people who have very similar personalities, I want to be the lover and partner of two people who are diversely different, whilst having good appreciation of those differences. The difference between Jade and me is, I need those personalities to merge together without conflict and all compliment each other.

Jade said something interesting at the start of BB. She said this was just something she needed to get out of her system now but would change once she was a little older. Perhaps I'm not comprehending what she means or perhaps I'm right in thinking that Jade is just into open sexual relationships that are neither serious or meaningful. To me this is more representative of swinging without being part of a swingers club.

Saying that, who am I to make judgement!!


she was very certain that when she found 'the one' that all this polyamouris stuff would stop. If you go around telling people you are polyamourus you must believe in it - it must be part of your lifestyle - it is not something that you can say you live your life by, but oh wait...when you find 'the one' it will all change. If you are polyamours you would tend to gravitate towards people who are like minded. You cannot then say, actually I want to stop now and you should too - because that's the reason you met in the first place. She's a faker- don't get me wrong I am very open minded and have no problem with being polyamouris, or anything else a person wants to be, but Jade thinks she can pull the wool over people's eyes by her words - her actions tell the exact opposite.

Braden 26-05-2015 02:02 PM

I think he said it for the sake of having an opinion.

It's quite funny how he's been really suspicious of her ever since the crowd member shouted 'Get Jade out!'. He probably said in hope that it would be shown (because it was a pretty harsh thing to say) so people could see that he's not fond of her.

I think he's a bit false tbh, and I'm glad Danny nominated him for that reason.

just thinkin 26-05-2015 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseGarden (Post 7811417)
I actually think it was quite unfair of Joel when he said that. The Twins also said something like it was a posh word for being a creep or something like that. Polyamory is just another word for being in an open relationship. If the people in question meet an understanding then I don't see how it is wrong.
As it was previously mentioned, you wouldn't blast Jack for being a Virgin, Aaron for being Gay and Adjoa for being a Lesbian so what gives anyone the right for blasting Polyamory?
To each their own.

the fact that you have a woman spouting that she is polyamouous to people who have never heard it before, and she doesn't actually know what it means herself might have something to do with how they see it. As I said in a post at the start of the show, there is an old-fashioned word for it - its called swinging. Nothing wrong with that either. Its not a new concept - it's as old as the world. Jade is just playing the field until she settles down - what mostly every other person her age is doing since time began.

Absorption 26-05-2015 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 7811435)
saying that being polyamourous is a posh word for immorality and calling someone a fake aren't even remotely linked :laugh:

Exactly.

I think some of Joel's opinions are dry-runs for his intended career in politics and since he's a Conservative he would probably rather people thought of him as being disapproving of such a lifestyle. (We won't get into what many Tory MPs like to do when no-one's watching...)

RoseGarden 26-05-2015 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Absorption (Post 7811577)
Exactly.

I think some of Joel's opinions are dry-runs for his intended career in politics and since he's a Conservative he would probably rather people thought of him as being disapproving of such a lifestyle. (We won't get into what many Tory MPs like to do when no-one's watching...)

It isn't very wise though is it? Wouldn't it be better to abstain from controversial opinions if you were intending on being in politics? Lol not a very good soundbite haha :laugh:

Absorption 26-05-2015 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseGarden (Post 7811619)
It isn't very wise though is it? Wouldn't it be better to abstain from controversial opinions if you were intending on being in politics? Lol not a very good soundbite haha :laugh:

To be charitable, he is very young.

But, yes, you're right! :laugh:

Mind you, if he changed his political persuasion I wouldn't rule him out getting the Labour leadership role...

rionablue 26-05-2015 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just thinkin (Post 7811507)
she was very certain that when she found 'the one' that all this polyamouris stuff would stop. If you go around telling people you are polyamourus you must believe in it - it must be part of your lifestyle - it is not something that you can say you live your life by, but oh wait...when you find 'the one' it will all change. If you are polyamours you would tend to gravitate towards people who are like minded. You cannot then say, actually I want to stop now and you should too - because that's the reason you met in the first place. She's a faker- don't get me wrong I am very open minded and have no problem with being polyamouris, or anything else a person wants to be, but Jade thinks she can pull the wool over people's eyes by her words - her actions tell the exact opposite.

Actually I know a girl who had multiple relationships (both agreed by her and her partners) and in her early thirties she met someone and got married and the guy know about her past and was ok with it as he had no doubt had a lot of relationships not all at the same time. So maybe this disproves your point that she should stay that way always, By the way this girl was not promiscuous or overly sexual or anything. It just suited her and both she and her partners were happy to accept that. Its a good thing to be open with someone when you start a relationship rather than doing what a lot of people do CHEAT BEHIND their partners back

Shaun 26-05-2015 03:14 PM

I'd say she's more emotionally immature rather than immoral.

just thinkin 26-05-2015 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rionablue (Post 7811693)
Actually I know a girl who had multiple relationships (both agreed by her and her partners) and in her early thirties she met someone and got married and the guy know about her past and was ok with it as he had no doubt had a lot of relationships not all at the same time. So maybe this disproves your point that she should stay that way always, By the way this girl was not promiscuous or overly sexual or anything. It just suited her and both she and her partners were happy to accept that. Its a good thing to be open with someone when you start a relationship rather than doing what a lot of people do CHEAT BEHIND their partners back

fair enough, but funnily enough Jade didn't meet somebody to change her mind and settle down - she already knows that when's she's finished playing the field she will settle down with one person - thats not polyamourus - thats playing the field like all young people do before they settle down. She's made a bit of a plonker out of herself really. if she really was polygamous she wouldn't even be thinking about settling down with one person.

arista 26-05-2015 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy (Post 7810856)
I agree with him,its a license to be a slapper


Yes Chuff
a Slapper
a Right Slapper



Sign Of The Times

chuff me dizzy 26-05-2015 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 7811428)
he is just calling her a fake. And he is right. She has such a high opinion of herself, its just a way of making her appear interesting but really its just a tiresome way of doing so.

Joel clocked her and good for him

:clap1: Im sure she thinks if she tells us often enough how wonderful she is, we may believe her !!


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