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Sorry, I'm late had to do something urgently
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Would all contestants please get on the boat as you are now being taking to your plank. |
Mark help me onto the boat I don't want to fall in and make myself even more wet...
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*gets on boat and trips mark*
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*waves to my adoring fans*
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It's about to begin the first person to be exposed is Mark! |
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:dog::dog::dog:
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But there's no-one there hon |
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MARK's INTERVIEW Who is the fakes? All them mingers are fake ass bitches, but Nicki and Dwayne are the worst. Nicki is faker than a Tawain Rolex, and she takes so long to get ready because she has TWO faces to make up. Numb nuts Dwayne has TWO faces as well – both of them UGLY. He brags how his cock measured two tiles wide in the gym shower room, but he never tells people that they were 2” mosaics. He wears one pair of cheap socks on his feet and pushes 10 pairs down his trunks at the swimming baths. The Cupid Stunt gets outa the water and stands at the side, and it looks like he's pissing himself with the amount of water draining from them socks. Thick twat ought buy better made fake gear if that 'Giordio Armuni' label on his cheap suit is anything to go by. Who annoys you the most? Gotta be Nicki. We once shacked up together but she did my head in she was so thick. I came home one night to find her standing on the kitchen worktop in a bowl of water. When I asked her what she was doing, she said; “I bought a packet of steeping peas and it said; “Open then stand in a bowl of water for 12 hours”. When the dirty hoe was on the game, a punter asked for his money back because he said he didn't come, so she spit the semen out of her mouth then apologised to him and gave him his 50p back. I call the filthy bitch 'Rooster' because when it comes to sex she runs around knickerless shouting: "Any Cock 'll Do." Who is the most stupid? Britney, Katerina, Tiara and Lucas all tie man. They're Dumb and Dumber, Even Dumber, and Dumber Still. Britney's so stupid she went to the dentists to get Blue Tooth, and shoplifted Free Samples from the Cosmetics Counter in Boots. The smartest thing to ever come out of her mouth was my cock. Katerina's so dumb she can't even hold a job down. She got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's, and sacked from her job as a Vacuum Cleaner Saleswoman because SHE ended up doing all the sucking and blowing and getting laid in the closet. The dumb bitch even got fired from a Blow Job. She keeps saying she's Nobody's Fool, but that's only 'cos nobody will claim her. Tiara shoulda been called Sahara, because there's nothing but sand in that ugly mofo head. She's so thick she told her Irish cousin that if he went working in Afghanistan he wouldn't be able to watch any TV programs 'cos there's a Tali Ban there. Her mum told her on her first date to “use protection” so the thick bitch hired the Kray Twins to accompany her. Lucas is really dumb. He loves rimming, and his nickname is Starship, because just like the Enterprise he will circle Uranus looking for cling ons. One dark night, I once jokingly asked the idiot to climb up my torch beam and he said; “No. I'm not daft – you'll turn it off when I'm halfway up it”. His ex-girlfriend was into rough sex and she once asked him to give her 12” and make her bleed, so the numbnuts shagged her four times and smacked her in the mouth. Who should get a grip? That would be Dwayne. He needs to get a grip - on his flaccid little cock, because .that's the only sex he's ever gonna get, unless we're counting getting a grip on his slippery girlfriend when he's inflating the vinyl bitch. He's so far removed from reality, he once punctured the bitch with a fork because he thought she'd been out and cheated on him. Who do you hate? All them losers. I mean – Why are they even IN this contest against ME? If I showed you my cock your fecking mouth would water and you'd say; “Hi Monster”, but if those idiot cows undressed, you would look and say; “Hallo Weenies”. They're delusional twats if they think they can win this, and it's so enraging. Katryna is so ugly even Fred and Rose West refused to have her as a lodger, and Dwayne's so boring, when he was a kid his Action Man deserted. That fat cow Brenda's gash has had so much cock that when she's on her period she uses a rolled up mattress and a bullrope. And what kind of winner would Lucas be? He's so dumb he thinks sperm are tadpoles and that's why he's always got a frog in his throat. Britney's favourite song is 'I Am The Walrus' because she's got a big moustache and stinks of Tuna. I hate em all boy. Who should be eliminated? Gotta be Dwayne because his face is so scary man – if he was Chinese his name would be UGG LEE. And he's such a slag. I once went around the back of a nightclub, and there he was with his trousers and briefs around his ankles, and bent over with his arse up in the air, his palms on the floor, and reading a magazine on the ground in front of him. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he looked back and said “Oh, has he gone”. And dumb? – He thinks if you have anal without a condom you could get pregnant and have a KY Jelly Baby. Evict the MoFo so the house smells fresher. |
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Lucas is not dumb (disgust)
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Oh my god Mark is so ruthless i hope mine is okay but I had to rush so I don't know </3
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Brenda is next to be exposed! Who is the fakest? Dwayne Who annoys you the most? Lucas Who is the most stupid? Mark Who should get a grip? Nicki Who do you hate? Dwayne Who should be eliminated? Dwayne |
*smashes marks skull against the boat floor repeatedly*
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Oops
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Nicki needs therapy with Minaj
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Dwayne is next to be exposed! Who is the most fake? All of these hoes are fake. none of them are allowed near an open flame just in case they go up in smoke. I've always got some marshmellows ready though just in case. Who annoys you the most? Nicki, bitch thinks she's Prada when she ain't even George. Who is the most stupid? All of them for thinking they're gonna win when I'm the only Rose in a field of weeds that is the other contestants. Who should get a grip? Mark, sexual harassment hasn't been cool since the 70's. Who do you hate? Katerina, Trailer park trash. She should go back to giving blowjobs for meth in whatevever hell hole she crawled out of. Who should be eliminated? Nicki, Eject the bullying bitch. LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO VERONICA BECAUSE OF HER. http://cdn1-www.afterellen.com/asset...real010607.png |
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