|
Quote:
|
What do Theresa May and Wayne Rooney have in common?
Spoiler: |
I got really emotional today at the petrol station
I don't know why, I just started filling up |
Alf you're on fire tonight.:joker:
|
Quote:
|
Statistically 120% of people over exaggerate.
|
I'm fed up with my mates. 3 times now they've agreed to go to a Whitesnake gig with me and then cancelled.
Here I go again on my own |
I hate Christmas, whoever invented it wants nailing to a cross.
|
Conjunctivitis.com
Now there's a site for sore eyes |
Wind Turbines
I'm a huge fan |
I saw the Worlds largest egg earlier.
I thought, that'll take some beating! |
Have one I came up with myself.
What did the butcher say to the cow? Spoiler: |
There's a Polish bloke next door. Every night he stands at the top of our street singing "I want to know what love is"
Bloody Foreigner! |
What I if told you...
That you read the first line incorrectly? |
Just heard that Beyoncé has discovered that Roy Castle was her real father.
Can't see her taking his surname somehow. |
For my next trick, I prepare to eat a percussion instrument in a sandwich.
Drum roll please |
I just had a game of darts with a zombie and an alien.
One undead and E.T |
Quote:
|
I answered the door this morning, and a 6ft beetle punched me in the face and called me a tw@.
Apparently there's a nasty bug going round! |
I went to bed with a blind girl last night. And she said I had the biggest knob she'd ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg" |
I was arguing with my girlfriend in Nandos, when my best friend ran off with the garlic bread and coleslaw.
I wish he'd stop taking sides |
My wife said she's leaving me because I've put CCTV all around the house.
To be honest, I can see where she's coming from. |
I got a new job doing shift work, making chess sets.
I'm on knights next week |
my wife has left me because of my obsession with cricket.
It's really hit me for six |
|
| All times are GMT. The time now is 07:42 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
User Alert System provided by
Advanced User Tagging (Pro) -
vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.