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The person was probably mentally ill. Normal people don't do this. I doubt they were in their right frame of mind and rational thinking went out the window a long time ago.
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To me it's just a tragic loss of life whatever the reasons behind it. |
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I have to wonder though what you would think if that person willingly left behind young children or a family in shambles? It's hard to imagine those scars ever healing for someone that is so young. Pulling out a page from my own experience... One of my closest friends from a long ago struggled with bipolar depression and various other maladies. We met when we were in our 'tweens. Though initially I held her in high regard, we fell out majorly several years later. Ironically enough it wasn't her propensity for self-harm (wrist slashing), her over-dramatic reactions to every "problematic" discussion with her or the way she would antagonize others personally to further flame the issue and then subsequently her plight. I accepted all of that about her and loved her dearly. I realized over the years that not only was her sense of self-compassion/empathy just broken, but that it also broke her empathy for my own situation. I felt if I had failed, it was all my fault because it's not like if I had a mental issue. No, sadly very sane and capable of analyzing myself. I was always much harder on myself than others. It made me feel quite ****ty because some days I was just not as emotionally involved in some things as she was. Afterall I was the strong one, but because I was not overly emotional and because I do not tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve, I was meant to bear all the weight of the relationship while at the same time she had unlimited passes to misbehave, betray or otherwise ostracize me for my own character issues. That did horrible things to my self-esteem, not really because of her reaction, but because of the bullying that was subsequently enabled (ironically, the same cruelty she'd always "detested"). We stopped communicating until my early 20's and then we resumed communication for a few years after... sadly she'd changed very little. She still lived at home, was addicted to the medications and was going through yet another program and in the meantime, was nonchalant about dragging her entire family through the mess. Worse, she still didn't comprehend the hell she'd put others through. She still would do things such as run for the family window only to force her very young brother to have to wrestle her to the ground. She would still go out and act out sexually, even though she'd been assaulted in the past (and had other psyche diagnoses/problems because of it), to the worry and concern of her mother and to her own pleasure, her father. I didn't bear a grudge at all as I'd buried the hatchet long ago, and ironically that was why I had to let her go. I waited for years for her to go beyond the surface (our communications were very surface). I never got that invitation. In fact, there were various things she'd say and do that felt that were points I felt she was still punishing me for initially leaving her (aka hurting her). She is hell on wheels. I never told her any of this, what I'd really felt about her actions or what she'd personally put me through. I don't think she even suspects anything. She'd maybe thought I was upset about some other things, placing blame on my tough exterior and my confidence, but all she ever seemed to notice was my poker face. How I'd constantly worried about her state and after the wrist-harming (in blatantly morbid detail), the suicidal discussions, the pressure she put on me to meet her expectations. At 12 years old. Even in my 20's, I was intimidated by her and due to her "fragile" state, never told her any of these feelings. I was terrified to bring it all back up. The worst part is if I had, it would've been majorly healing. Instead she ran off when I'd out of the blue announced I was done. It was sudden and after months of a pit in my stomach. Nothing really happened. I just didn't feel there was any future. I didn't pursue her. Knowing her past, was afraid she'd attempt again or find her friends, give them my contact info so they could put me on blast (i.e. bully me)... they were generally even less empathetic than her which is why I generally stayed out of her circle. I wasn't emotionally invested in our relationship anymore but I think the good memories will always remain. I have long forgiven her but if she showed up at my physical doorstep without invitation, it would be a very bad day :laugh: I just feel for anyone who has to deal with such circumstances. I don't feel like a person should be chastised for being mental or having issues. That would be awful. We can't all be impenetrable rocks. However, I don't think because everyone else is in a much better condition that a person's aftermath should then swept underneath the rug and then relabeled to be something kinder gentler like "Oh they were just mentally ill...", etc... it does a disservice to the others who were also victims. What about the people who are left with the grief? Or the scars that will never be able to heal, not only from the aftermath, but if that person had left behind a lot of unfinished business/sour milk... you can't even tell that person you love them and properly let them go. If that last communication you had were a bad one, you'd be scarred with it in your memory and never forget. I still remember the day she confessed about the self-harm after her mother had noticed her scars... It hurts a lot more than than some people realize. |
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The kind of mental distress/trauma someone goes through at that point would override rational thought I suppose. |
It's hard to know what goes through the minds of people who are in the depths of despair. I don't trust psychology to answer it definitively because human beings are so unpredictable.
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