ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums

ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/index.php)
-   General Chat (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Dating married men/women (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=309994)

Kyle 18-09-2016 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade (Post 8981706)
Still not my fault. I owe nobody my loyalty if im single.

You'll change your tune when you come home to your husband nobbing your next door neighbours daughter one day. :grin2:

Jack_ 18-09-2016 08:43 PM

Amy's right on this one. The only person that's responsible for a relationship is the people who are in it, if you're single it's not your problem.

Does it make you a bit of a dick? Probably, but it's still the fault of the person in the relationship for jeopardising it :shrug: I hate nothing more than when it transpires someone cheats and the single party gets blamed (usually the woman) and screamed at while often the cheater gets away with it, it's sexist nonsense that shouldn't be encouraged

To answer the question...a married person? I really don't think so. In fact, 'dating' is probably a bit too strong regardless. I don't think I could personally ~date~ someone who was in a relationship, it just seems a bit pointless, you aren't exactly the priority and it's a little too much. But if I were drunk and the opportunity of a one off thing presented itself? Eh, I don't know...maybe. It's one of those things I don't think I'd truly know until I was in the situation - a penis/head dilemma

Fetch The Bolt Cutters 18-09-2016 08:43 PM

married dick :lovedup:

Will. 18-09-2016 08:46 PM

If you know the man/woman is married then have some basic moral values and stay the **** away.

Lostie! 18-09-2016 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack_ (Post 8981769)
Amy's right on this one. The only person that's responsible for a relationship is the people who are in it, if you're single it's not your problem.

Does it make you a bit of a dick? Probably, but it's still the fault of the person in the relationship for jeopardising it :shrug: I hate nothing more than when it transpires someone cheats and the single party gets blamed (usually the woman) and screamed at while often the cheater gets away with it, it's sexist nonsense that shouldn't be encouraged

To answer the question...a married person? I really don't think so. In fact, 'dating' is probably a bit too strong regardless. I don't think I could personally ~date~ someone who was in a relationship, it just seems a bit pointless, you aren't exactly the priority and it's a little too much. But if I were drunk and the opportunity of a one off thing presented itself? Eh, I don't know...maybe. It's one of those things I don't think I'd truly know until I was in the situation - a penis/head dilemma

And nobody here is encouraging that. Quite the opposite actually, people are simply holding both parties equally to account, as they should be.

Marsh. 18-09-2016 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle (Post 8981766)
You'll change your tune when you come home to your husband nobbing your next door neighbours daughter one day. :grin2:

You watch too much porn. :nono:

LukeB 18-09-2016 08:48 PM

Probably not especially if they have kids that's more awful but if I have feelings for them then I don't know.

Livia 18-09-2016 08:50 PM

If he cheats for you he'll cheat on you.

Lostie! 18-09-2016 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LukeB (Post 8981782)
Probably not especially if they have kids that's more awful but if I have feelings for them then I don't know.

But even if you had feelings for them, wouldn't you rather they reciprocate that by entering a proper relationship with you rather than having you as their bit on the side while they continue to be married?

Kyle 18-09-2016 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh. (Post 8981781)
You watch too much porn. :nono:

:shrug: What? My doctor said it was good for me. Also makes the sheep nearby sleep a lot soundly at night too. :grin2:

Jack_ 18-09-2016 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostie! (Post 8981779)
And nobody here is encouraging that. Quite the opposite actually, people are simply holding both parties equally to account, as they should be.

I didn't say anybody was, it was a generalised remark...let's not go down this road again.

Both parties are not on the same level of blame in the slightest. One is in a relationship, the other is not. The only people responsible for maintaining a relationship are the people in it, it's their relationship and nobody else's. If you cheat, that's your fault and your problem. If you're the third party then yeah sure it's a bit twatty to go along with it, but it's not your relationship and strictly speaking as a single person you're entitled to do what you like.

All of the blame (or at least the majority of it) lies with the person in the relationship, it's not 50/50 by any stretch of the imagination.

Marsh. 18-09-2016 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostie! (Post 8981786)
But even if you had feelings for them, wouldn't you rather they reciprocate that by entering a proper relationship with you rather than having you as their bit on the side while they continue to be married?

Yeah, I think cheating with a married/committed person shows a lack of self respect really, never mind for anyone else.

Jack_ 18-09-2016 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 8981784)
If he cheats for you he'll cheat on you.

This is probably another reason why 'dating' would be out of the question, surely. A one off though? Not the same circumstances.

Tom4784 18-09-2016 08:56 PM

I'm no one's bit on the side.

If they are separated then maybe if they are in the right headspace about it all but I refuse to be anyone's rebound.

Lostie! 18-09-2016 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack_ (Post 8981788)
I didn't say anybody was, it was a generalised remark...let's not go down this road again.

Both parties are not on the same level of blame in the slightest. One is in a relationship, the other is not. The only people responsible for maintaining a relationship are the people in it, it's their relationship and nobody else's. If you cheat, that's your fault and your problem. If you're the third party then yeah sure it's a bit twatty to go along with it, but it's not your relationship and strictly speaking as a single person you're entitled to do what you like.

All of the blame (or at least the majority of it) lies with the person in the relationship, it's not 50/50 by any stretch of the imagination.

I wasn't going down any "road" :unsure:

And I'd just find it really spineless if someone would willingly go with someone they know is cheating and then turn around and say "Not my fault, not my problem". I wouldn't blame them any more than my partner (I agree that's nonsense) but I certainly wouldn't blame them any less either. Both people involved would have shown themselves have a pretty ****ed up moral compass as far as I'm concerned.

Unless the other person genuinely didn't know, they absolutely deserve to be judged for their part and I'll always stand by that.

bots 18-09-2016 09:04 PM

Relationships are complicated enough without adding in any extra excitement.

Amy Jade 18-09-2016 09:10 PM

Jack is pretty much saying what I think.

Would I feel bad for the guys wife? yeah probably but I still wouldnt blame myself. His relationship to maintain not mine.

Jack_ 18-09-2016 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostie! (Post 8981806)
I wasn't going down any "road" :unsure:

And I'd just find it really spineless if someone would willingly go with someone they know is cheating and then turn around and say "Not my fault, not my problem". I wouldn't blame them any more than my partner (I agree that's nonsense) but I certainly wouldn't blame them any less either. Both people involved would have shown themselves have a pretty ****ed up moral compass as far as I'm concerned.

Unless the other person genuinely didn't know, they absolutely deserve to be judged for their part and I'll always stand by that.

But the single party isn't responsible for someone else's relationship. I understand why people think it's morally wrong and makes you a bit of a dick - I'm not saying I disagree - but the bottom line of it is that the only people who are responsible for maintaining a relationship are the people in it. Conversely, you can actually end up in a scenario where the cheater can protest 'but they came onto me :( and I couldn't resist, I'm so sorry but they were really trying it :(' and I don't think that should be used to either blame the third party more (which I know you've said you agree) or indeed just as much as the cheater. The two people are not in the same positions, one is single, the other is the one in the relationship.

Ultimately we're never going to agree on this though and it's probably for the best that we don't have an argument about it

Jamie89 18-09-2016 09:21 PM

I wouldn't personally but I agree with the pov that the majority of blame should go to the person who's married. It think regardless of morality, because even if both were equally wrong morally (which personally I don't think they would be, but lets just say for arguments sake they are) there's still the issue of commitment... the single person isn't breaking a commitment they've made, the married person is. And yes they're both willfully hurting someone, but it's the married person who is supposed to care about them and have a responsibility towards them.

Mokka 18-09-2016 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle (Post 8981787)
:shrug: What? My doctor said it was good for me. Also makes the sheep nearby sleep a lot soundly at night too. :grin2:

:laugh2:

Ross. 18-09-2016 09:27 PM

It's a no from me

Jake. 18-09-2016 09:40 PM

i don't think "who gets blamed" is the issue on this one

Lostie! 18-09-2016 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamie89 (Post 8981827)
I wouldn't personally but I agree with the pov that the majority of blame should go to the person who's married. It think regardless of morality, because even if both were equally wrong morally (which personally I don't think they would be, but lets just say for arguments sake they are) there's still the issue of commitment... the single person isn't breaking a commitment they've made, the married person is. And yes they're both willfully hurting someone, but it's the married person who is supposed to care about them and have a responsibility towards them.

I don't really see how there's a difference in how they've behaved morally. Sure, one has broken a commitment (I don't dispute that), but the other has willingly partaken in that and so can't really have much of a problem with the idea of someone doing that (until it happens to them, I presume) so I just can't personally place them on any higher of a moral footing. :shrug:

You can't cheat all by yourself. There has to be someone else on the other end and that's why I think that other person deserves to be held accountable just as much (providing they knew, of course).

Jamie89 18-09-2016 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostie! (Post 8981856)
I don't really see how there's a difference in how they've behaved morally. Sure, one has broken a commitment (I don't dispute that), but the other has willingly partaken in that and so can't really have much of a problem with the idea of someone doing that (until it happens to them, I presume) so I just can't personally place them on any higher of a moral footing. :shrug:

You can't cheat all by yourself. There has to be someone else on the other end and that's why I think that other person deserves to be held accountable just as much (providing they knew, of course).

I just think that even though both parties are accountable for what they're doing, it's a bigger leap to cheat on someone you love/someone you've made a commitment with, than it is to take part in breaking up someone's relationship and hurt someone you don't know. Neither of those things are 'right' but I have a hard time seeing them as equal. I was in a serious relationship and got cheated on and it was the most painful thing I've ever been through but I never really gave a second thought to the other guy... I dunno it's hard to put a ratio on how responsible someone is or what someone's morality is really, so thinking about it more I don't know where I stand on it exactly... but when it happened to me I blamed my ex entirely because the way I saw it was, even if they both wanted to sleep with each other, my ex was the one who should have tried harder not to, because he's the one who had put himself in a situation with me where he had that responsibility. And if you're going to take on a responsibility like committing yourself to another person, I don't think you can be judged in the same way as someone who hasn't, because the two people involved are in different situations. I don't know if I'm explaining it well. But he had extra choices basically. For example he could have broken up with me first but he decided not to. The 'other guy' didn't have that option. I just think it's different tbh.

Dollface 18-09-2016 11:11 PM

If him and his wife had kids together... definitely not. But if I happened to fall for a married man, I'd probably go there yeah but i'd feel terrible and make him tell his wife and break it off - if he refused to leave her, i'd leave him.


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:05 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.