Quote:
Originally Posted by kirklancaster
(Post 9066084)
:joker::joker::joker: This is your most humorous post yet Maru - I literally nearly peed myself at the emboldened bits. :laugh:
Lots of truth there though as usual.
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:laugh: Thanks. I always try to have a good sense of humor. So much irony all around us. It keeps things interesting... :laugh:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Monkey
(Post 9066264)
Yeah exactly.Like take the guy in the vid for instance.He's been hiding his sexuality from his dad however he still has that quality so to me it would seem that it's just his voice and he's not changing it in any way.He wouldn't put on a gayer voice while trying to hide it and his dad said that he has suspected for a while.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kirklancaster
(Post 9066488)
:laugh: Yeah Paul - I would have suspected it too if I'd been his dad.
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I would've had that conversation with my child (still childless atm) before that point if I suspected. Just because I don't want to further stigmatize it by walking around it like it is a bigger deal than it really is... my grandmother actually asked me (Southern Baptist of all people--
very severe Christianity) once and I think she told me it would be fine, that she could tell me... funny enough, she's a democrat but is also a southern Baptist... still, her step-dad was a Baptist preacher and he did everything with other women and to them that a preacher should never do (he was very abusive). So I guess she learned early on the colors of hypocrisy so to speak... and so it affected her viewpoint.
Still, I've heard people who talk like this. I have some in my circle in IT who speak like this and again, the more intellectual crowd... they don't really subscribe to gender roles as much as other crowds I guess. With my husband's work (law enforcement), there's a lot of macho personalities for sure... but we have some teddy bears too. (And some alcoholics)
Anyway, for this video, his behaviors to me are only clues. Maybe the way he is speaking... like how he is moving his hands, his shoulders are relaxed and he is relating to his father with a lot of focus on openly sharing his emotional viewpoints. Hard to put words to it. It reminds me of when people use hand gestures to relate to each other... those in LGBT have similar hand gestures to communicate meanings and empathy that connects to others in that group. It could also be that is the way he is always presented him, as someone
more effeminate... still I don't see that as necessarily meaning someone is homosexual. Again I have a friend who acts like this and it is very similar... so not a smoking gun imho.
Actually, I think that is so common with the younger generations..
straight or gay... but if anyone is hanging around others with the same status, they just pick up subconsciously over time the way his circle interacts and perhaps he picked up those behaviors there...but I feel like his voice and hand gestures, his way of speech... I don't really see it as
obvious. I see it as circumstantial.
For example, when I was in my studio design program... I started hanging around snobby art nerds... we started to use the same vocabulary, ways of explaining our ideas, etc... because of things like critique being not optional, but mandatory, having to hang around nudists (read: art models), having to hang up our work for all to see and yet handle a tongue lashing with class.... a lot of barriers had to broken and to make it easier and to show support, we spoke and acted a certain way to engender respect for others of our trade and this is how we learned and modeled our behavior as we got further into the program.
With the LGBT movement, they have to deal with these barriers as well.. so I notice people in those groups, they pick up behaviors that are encouraging others to express--not suppress... and then of course, you have 'display' behaviors to show interest if it's a club setting :smug: (
yay clubs)... these are behaviors they herald because it prominently advertises their values of acceptance and open-ness... so this is what they are about. People, whether they have cognitive dissonance about this or not, will often display these values in some manner... even from birth, because they not only live within the context of their identity, but a context of society.
Just like art snobs hang around Starbucks with sketchbooks and laptops all the time... to show that our intellectual mind and our creativity is unchained from the
mundane. :laugh: Most of us have been creative all our lives. So I don't know his age, but in my youth, the walls of stigmatism were already crashing down due to years of movement... so it's possible he had already fully acknowledged (i.e. not suppressed really) his identity, if only subconsciously, and moved towards that social collective in that manner.
Generally, and this could be any situation or circumstance, but it is often psychological to 'act out' if you feel overly suppressed by those around you... it's a way to
cope with living in this cardboard box called life. You know with little effort you can escape that box... but you are told repeatedly, you will pay some high price if you do. So you stay in, but in the meantime, you are really frustrated with it... so you may act out in smaller ways to cope. My husband's brother had similar issues with it and between the alcohol and manic behavior... this was how he coped. But he was a very successful businessmen otherwise... at least until the alcohol took over his life and ruined that. Edit: Still he didn't start to try to correct that until he came out... then his life kinda hit the bottom, but he did finally start picking up the pieces and is getting his life together again...
Sexuality is so private for most people, so I don't think that most people subconsciously go out of their way to advertise their affections one way or another... but I guess if you had seen the whole episode, it would've looked different to you. But just based on this clip, I don't see it being incredibly obvious... I feel like however, if he had a support network of similar folk, as it seems he does... this is just the way that he learned to communicate empathy in that group. Maybe the way he speaks--yes--could be the way he spoke his entire life, outside of the gestures... but I know a lot of people who speak very similarly and move their shoulders in that manner and are not homosexual.
Anyway I could've written that a lot better with more time and energy to introduce better examples... I hope that it makes sense anyway. I just think too many reasons to explain away the behaviors of what most people consider homosexual... but I did offer non-genetic reasons as to why those groups may interact in similar ways/share similar mannerisms. Comes down to general sociology I guess.
Edit: Added some small, but important, details...
