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-   -   Who's online? I could use someone to talk to? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=381507)

arista 01-07-2022 08:40 AM

I am

Vanessa 01-07-2022 09:13 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, Kate. Families are so complicated. I myself have lost touch with quite a few family members for various reasons.
I'm trying to keep in touch with my sister, because she's my twin and I genuinely love her more than anything.
I hope in time you and your son can get closer again :hug:

Kate! 01-07-2022 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 11183915)
It's very sad that you have lost touch Kate, did something happen between you to cause the rift or did he just drift off? It must be a worry if you don't know where he is, is there any way you can find where he is and start up contact again?

He just disappeared totally out of the blue Cherie. Wiped me out of his social media etc. The whole kit and caboodle. It's like he's no longer on the planet.

Cherie 01-07-2022 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate! (Post 11184006)
He just disappeared totally out of the blue Cherie. Wiped me out of his social media etc. The whole kit and caboodle. It's like he's no longer on the planet.

Have you had a previously good relationship? It might be that he was hurt that you moved area, he might have thought that he should have been consulted.

I think sometimes we think our kids don't need us any more when they move out but they generally do, if I were you I would try my best to find him and reconnect, he might be regretting his decision now but too proud to get in touch, can you start with any of his mates?

Niamh. 01-07-2022 03:06 PM

I echo Cherie here, don't give up trying to find and reconnect Kate :hug:

ThomasC 01-07-2022 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate! (Post 11184006)
He just disappeared totally out of the blue Cherie. Wiped me out of his social media etc. The whole kit and caboodle. It's like he's no longer on the planet.

There has to be more to this?

That doesn't just happen. There's a reason.

Kate! 01-07-2022 03:18 PM

@Niamh and Cherie. I've tried everything I can possibly do. Even used a charity called Reconnect. They found an address for him but its confidential and I don't get to know it. They wrote to him and asked him to get in touch but he didn’t.

Niamh. 01-07-2022 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate! (Post 11184093)
@Niamh and Cherie. I've tried everything I can possibly do. Even used a charity called Reconnect. They found an address for him but its confidential and I don't get to know it. They wrote to him and asked him to get in touch but he didn’t.

And you have no idea why at all?

Kate! 01-07-2022 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 11184095)
And you have no idea why at all?

I have a couple of theories but that's all. Nothing concrete.

1. My brother and former sister in law who recently passed away have poisoned his mind against me cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story.

2. He wasn't happy that I moved in with Karl in Wigan. But I doubt that on its own would be enough for him to react that way?

Lewismacfarlane 01-07-2022 03:51 PM

Hey Kate u ok

Crimson Dynamo 01-07-2022 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThomasC (Post 11184089)
There has to be more to this?

That doesn't just happen. There's a reason.

"cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story."

This would seem to hold the key to the reason

Kate! 01-07-2022 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lewismacfarlane (Post 11184114)
Hey Kate u ok

I'm alright Lewis. Have to get on with things. Thank you for asking xx

Vanessa 01-07-2022 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate! (Post 11184117)
I'm alright Lewis. Have to get on with things. Thank you for asking xx

Hope you're ok. :love:

ThomasC 01-07-2022 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate! (Post 11184098)
I have a couple of theories but that's all. Nothing concrete.

1. My brother and former sister in law who recently passed away have poisoned his mind against me cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story.

2. He wasn't happy that I moved in with Karl in Wigan. But I doubt that on its own would be enough for him to react that way?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 11184116)
"cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story."

This would seem to hold the key to the reason

It's very deep.

My brain is all frazzled out too. :laugh:

Cherie 01-07-2022 04:11 PM

It's possible someone has said something that has upset him, some families like nothing better than stirring the pot.

Keep using that Charity Kate and send him a card regularly asking to meet him if only for him to explain why he has removed himself from your life, he owes you that

Kate! 01-07-2022 04:28 PM

I can't send him a card Cherie. The charity don't pass things on and there's no other way for me to contact him.

arista 01-07-2022 04:28 PM

Hang in the there Kate
it is not nice to have this done

ThomasC 01-07-2022 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate! (Post 11184133)
I can't send him a card Cherie. The charity don't pass things on and there's no other way for me to contact him.

Is there no one within your circle who can advocate on your behalf or know more details, friends, other family members?

Maybe you could start with trying to build bridges with your brother if they have turned him on you. I'm assuming he still has contact with his uncle?

I think deep down you know the reason why he doesn't want to see you or you have a good guess. You have to be truthful to yourself and admit that fault, if there is one.

Did you tell him you were moving in with Karl? He would only have been 21 so that's a huge decision to make if you didn't involve him. Does his father have contact with him? Is the father Karl? Does your son feel abandoned? Why was he not happy you moved in with Karl? Was your son living with you? How far away was it? Did you ditch him for Karl? What happened at the funeral?

Just trying to understand the much bigger picture to offer you some advice.

Ask yourself these questions.

I think you might be able to do something about this if you are able to identify exactly why he does not want to see you.

GoldHeart 01-07-2022 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 11184127)
It's possible someone has said something that has upset him, some families like nothing better than stirring the pot.

Keep using that Charity Kate and send him a card regularly asking to meet him if only for him to explain why he has removed himself from your life, he owes you that

People ALWAYS say something. I don't know why he's ghosted Kate. But it's quite sad. But I don't know the full story.

Mystic Mock 01-07-2022 06:34 PM

I'm sorry to hear this Kate.

I honestly think that every family has some drama to some extent, especially when things like new partners come into the fold.

rusticgal 01-07-2022 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock (Post 11184166)
I'm sorry to hear this Kate.

I honestly think that every family has some drama to some extent, especially when things like new partners come into the fold.


Yup…sadly.

Vanessa 01-07-2022 06:50 PM

I know. Sometimes I wish I didn't have any family and in was all by myself.
I love them all, but not the drama that comes with it.

Crimson Dynamo 01-07-2022 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThomasC (Post 11184139)
Is there no one within your circle who can advocate on your behalf or know more details, friends, other family members?

Maybe you could start with trying to build bridges with your brother if they have turned him on you. I'm assuming he still has contact with his uncle?

I think deep down you know the reason why he doesn't want to see you or you have a good guess. You have to be truthful to yourself and admit that fault, if there is one.

Did you tell him you were moving in with Karl? He would only have been 21 so that's a huge decision to make if you didn't involve him. Does his father have contact with him? Is the father Karl? Does your son feel abandoned? Why was he not happy you moved in with Karl? Was your son living with you? How far away was it? Did you ditch him for Karl? What happened at the funeral?

Just trying to understand the much bigger picture to offer you some advice.

Ask yourself these questions.

I think you might be able to do something about this if you are able to identify exactly why he does not want to see you.

yep


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