This.

I'm no expert on parenting and relationships, but only try to drink in moderation.

yes but its like telling someone with anorexia (not saying swan has drink issues) "well what i like to do is eat three square meals a day"

yeah thanks for that

Too true.:laugh:

Even if he had drink issues he can get help anyone can

New borns are not born needing alcohol

yes because that is what all addicts seek, is help

oh wait

no it isnt

:skull:

Not all addicts but many do.

its a tiny, tiny minority

Sorry i ignored this thread, probably too ashamed really, Truth being, i am a nightmare when drunk, i do have issues. Im not a great dad, but i do try and i do love my daughter. I NEVER drink when she's round. Might have the odd whisky when she's asleep as a nightcap, but that's it.

Her mother DOES have a bf, been with him for 18 months. Yeah, her mother tells me i shouldn't have a woman round when i have my girl. Fine, that's fair honestly. But im only human, i wanna keep a potential gf happy. I also want my daughter happy too. She's the main person. She's who really matters to me.

People asking about her mum? Her mum is a ****ing nightmare, not a bad mum, but as a person, she's ****. Cold. Selfish. I wanted a child, she never did. Best thing i ever did was leave her. I would come home from work, she'd be sat on her arse all day, i was expected to cook for us all, even do the washing. She sat, and smoked, and expected the world. BUT, i was no angel either, don't get me wrong. Late home, other women etc. So yeah.

Anyway, i actually have my daughter tonight, she's just had her bath and played a bit of fortnite. We're gonna snack and watch a film now.

Is the breakup recent? ...did you say 4 years?

I mean I'm trying not to judge but really just to be blunt, if you guys split 4 YEARS ago and it wasn't an actually abusive relationship, you need to sort your **** out and learn to be civil to each other for the sake of your daughter.

Things being raw/painful in the aftermath of a breakup is inevitable for months, even a year+ but 4 years? Can you not both move on? People change a tonne in 4 years, you're practically strangers.

I understand what you're saying, it's at the point where our daughter is becoming old enough to notice the bollocks between myself and her mother. Im no angel, i'm just above "useless". It's not fair on the girl!

I HAVE moved me on, but because i was unhappy in the relationship at the time, i was staying away from the home as much as possible. Late working. Pub. Any excuse to not go home to her demands and misery.

She is the one holding the grudge because i ended it.. I was an arsehole, but i try and be civil with the mother, it's hard work.

No SB, we share a child, who we both love, we'll never be strangers

Swan is there a part of you that still loves your ex and if you could change what happened you would ?

Maybe, i'll always feel something for her. We share a child together. I would have loved to stay with her for my daughter's sake. But it was too much for me in the end. I had to get away from her mother.

I would take back some of the "im working late" bollocks maybe. Changed the "i might be home late, don't wait up as im helping a mate" crap. But i wasn't happy with the mum. Sex was cold. She tried, i tried, but forcing yourself to love someone you don't really love is a difficult way to live.

(my daughter fell asleep 40 mins into the film bless her, about her standard)

Hey at least you're above the level of myself and LT.:hehe:

Jk LT, you know that I think you're a solid member really.

Obviously Swan I hope that you and your ex are able to at least be more civil with each other in the future, for your Daughter's sake more than anything else.