Little April was asleep in class. The teacher decided to try to catch her out and asks 'tell me April, who created the universe?', when April didnt stir, her friend little Johnny jabbed her in the back with a pen, 'GOD ALMIGHTY!' shouted april. a little later the teacher asks her 'who is our saviour?' johnny again prods her with a pen and april shouts 'JESUS CHRIST!' the teacher was determined to catch her asleep and asks 'what did eve say to adam after she had their 23rd child?' johnny again comes to the rescue and jabs april who screams 'IF YOU STICK THAT ****ING THING IN ME ONCE MORE, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!!' the teacher fainted.

Lmao!!

:laugh2:

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
.................................................. ..................
How do you breathe through that thing?

Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"