Yo mama's so old when she was in school there was no history

A snail knocks on a door and a man answers. The snail looks inside at a roaring fire.
The snail says to the man, 'Could I please come in from the cold'.
So the man picks up the snail and throws it out into the night and closes the door.
Six months later the man hears a knock at the door and answers it. He looks down and sees the snail who says,

LOL! I don't know if that's really funny or if I've just got a giggling fit coming on but :laugh3:

I couldn't stop laughing when my 5yr old cousin told me it.

My Dad used to tell me all these ones :hugesmile:

What do you call a man with big feet who's lost his dog?




Big Shooey Dougless

I spent some time at the wife's grave today.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A man walks into a bar

What do you call a dog with no tongue?

:laugh2:

what do you call a donkey with 3 legs?



What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and one eye?



What do you call a donkey with 3 legs, one eye and a guitar?

What's worst than a worm in your apple?

My friend told me that exact same joke last night :laugh:

Why does Noddy have a bell on his hat?

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.

What’s the difference between Man and E.T?

:laugh:

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

:laugh:

Phone answering machine message -
"...If you want to buy marijuana.............press the hash key..."

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day.
He wasn't very happy.

Why did the toilet roll go down the hill??

To get to the bottom

What did one orange say to the other orange?

:xyxwave:

I think you've maybe just won the crappest joke award! :tongue:

I agree, thats got to be the worst joke ever :hugesmile:

:xyxwave:

Lol i thought it was quite funny first time i heard it lol:blush:

:L

was you on crack? :/

PMSL , you guys are a tough audience i think it is a brill joke

Lol.. ok, ok.. it was hilarious :laugh:

*mutters "Jesuuus" out of side of mouth*

What about this one:

What kind of phone do biologists use?

A cellphone

PMSL

*dies*

:joker:

lol thats more like it

What do you call a man in a tiger's cage?

Simonsays i am sure this one will make you laugh

Alright ..so two blondes walk into a bar.. you'd think one of them would have seen it.

lol

LOL, I dont think they got that. :laugh:

Lol.. no they didn't! :)

What do you call an intelligent blonde?

pmsl

What do you call a fly with no wings?