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Ammi 14-12-2013 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JingleBitch (Post 6540971)
.. someone doesn't like you, even though you've given them no reason to dislike you and you're nothing but nice to them?

One of my tutors is like this, and I don't know why it irks me, but it really does..

I feel like it's unjustified, and wouldn't mind if she had a good reason for it, but I just want to stunt up to her and ask her what her effing problem is.. which of course I can't, or that would just validate her dislike for me..

I want to not care, and I don't know if it's because I have to spend time with her a few days a week, or because she's in a position of seniority, but I struggle to not care..

..if it was me, I would just ask her and say if there's a problem..not in a confrontational/hostile way because as you said, that would just validate how she is toward you and she would feel justified for being how she is/try to put it back on you..but as she doesn't have a reason/there doesn't seem any reason to it, then it really is an issue she has, not you..and by ignoring it, then it's making it your problem because it's bothering you, so give it back to her where it belongs as she's the one who has created it...also because it could become your problem in a much more important and serious way by having an effect on your course/studies/distracting etc if you just ignore it...just tell her you sense a hostility and then she has to somehow respond to that..?..


...EDIT:..also, if it was one of your children..(I think you're a mum..?...)...you wouldn't ignore it if one of their teachers seemed hostile toward them...obviously because it isn't a very good way/appropriate way for a teacher to behave but also because you would be concerned about the effect it could have on their school work...this really is no different..doing this course is a big thing to you/important to you so don't allow any silliness from her spoil it for you...ask her about it and not only let her know how aware you are of it but make her look at her own actions and justify them...she's entitled to not like you and doesn't have to have a reason but as your tutor/mentor, she isn't entitled to openly express it or in any way make you feel uncomfortable or undermine you...

Z 14-12-2013 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yukon Cornelius (Post 6542477)
King Moonracer the prick

Why is everyone being so funny recently, I swear I've burst into laughter at least a dozen times in the last 24 hours because of TiBB

lily. 18-12-2013 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snow Angel (Post 6542435)
:joker: I knew there was a reason I love you..Couldn't have put it better myself!

However as this is a tutor there really shouldn't be anything personal affecting how you interact, have you ever given them cause to have such a negative perception of you lily?

No. I think she just doesn't like my personality, if that makes sense. She has been this way from day one.

lily. 18-12-2013 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 6542529)
..if it was me, I would just ask her and say if there's a problem..not in a confrontational/hostile way because as you said, that would just validate how she is toward you and she would feel justified for being how she is/try to put it back on you..but as she doesn't have a reason/there doesn't seem any reason to it, then it really is an issue she has, not you..and by ignoring it, then it's making it your problem because it's bothering you, so give it back to her where it belongs as she's the one who has created it...also because it could become your problem in a much more important and serious way by having an effect on your course/studies/distracting etc if you just ignore it...just tell her you sense a hostility and then she has to somehow respond to that..?..


...EDIT:..also, if it was one of your children..(I think you're a mum..?...)...you wouldn't ignore it if one of their teachers seemed hostile toward them...obviously because it isn't a very good way/appropriate way for a teacher to behave but also because you would be concerned about the effect it could have on their school work...this really is no different..doing this course is a big thing to you/important to you so don't allow any silliness from her spoil it for you...ask her about it and not only let her know how aware you are of it but make her look at her own actions and justify them...she's entitled to not like you and doesn't have to have a reason but as your tutor/mentor, she isn't entitled to openly express it or in any way make you feel uncomfortable or undermine you...

You know a part of me is thinking that any kind of confrontation here is going to make it worse. I can't help feeling that the best course of action is to fly beneath her radar until June. If she denies doing it, what do I do with that? If she implies it is all in my head, how do I prove otherwise? I'm obviously not going to involve the rest of the students so what evidence do I really have?

Funny you should bring up the part about my kids, because Greg also said something along those lines when my course started and I was getting grief from her. It's funny how you'll put up with things yourself, but won't let anyone do the same things to your kids.

Ammi 18-12-2013 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JingleBitch (Post 6553555)
You know a part of me is thinking that any kind of confrontation here is going to make it worse. I can't help feeling that the best course of action is to fly beneath her radar until June. If she denies doing it, what do I do with that? If she implies it is all in my head, how do I prove otherwise? I'm obviously not going to involve the rest of the students so what evidence do I really have?

Funny you should bring up the part about my kids, because Greg also said something along those lines when my course started and I was getting grief from her. It's funny how you'll put up with things yourself, but won't let anyone do the same things to your kids.

..I think you've just got to go with how you feel is the best way to handle it because you're the one who is in the situation and have a feeling of how you think she'll react if you say anything...and she probably would just deny it all tbh, but she would then be aware of how aware you are about it and maybe realise that she could get into trouble or better 'be less obvious'..?...I think you've just got to see how it goes and if it's really becoming an issue for you and maybe detracting from your studies/course, then decide what to do then...

Mystic Mock 18-12-2013 05:44 PM

Bother me it does.


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