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-   -   discovering you have an adopted brother? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=248097)

Nedusa 26-03-2014 07:41 AM

I am an adopted child and discovered I had four half brothers and a half sister. Really messes up your head, so yes I know where you are coming from on this one.

AnnieK 26-03-2014 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedusa (Post 6770525)
I am an adopted child and discovered I had four half brothers and a half sister. Really messes up your head, so yes I know where you are coming from on this one.

Have you ever been in contact with them or just know of their existence? I would be so curious I think - but that is very easy to say if you are not thrown into that situation.

Nedusa 26-03-2014 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK (Post 6770527)
Have you ever been in contact with them or just know of their existence? I would be so curious I think - but that is very easy to say if you are not thrown into that situation.

Yes I have met them a few times but as they all live in Ireland it's difficult to meet up too often. My brother and I were adopted together as very young children but our natural mother went back to Ireland and married and had 5 children.

Nice to have more siblings but to call them family , is that a step too far ?

AnnieK 26-03-2014 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedusa (Post 6770534)
Yes I have met them a few times but as they all live in Ireland it's difficult to meet up too often. My brother and I were adopted together as very young children but our natural mother went back to Ireland and married and had 5 children.

Nice to have more siblings but to call them family , is that a step too far ?

I guess it goes down the nature/nurture debate. They are blood relatives but I would imagine (obviously just supposition) that you have a stronger bond with your adopted family??

It is romanticised I guess in movies and books where children are separated at birth and then find each other later in life but I guess the reality is somewhat different?

Ammi 26-03-2014 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedusa (Post 6770534)
Yes I have met them a few times but as they all live in Ireland it's difficult to meet up too often. My brother and I were adopted together as very young children but our natural mother went back to Ireland and married and had 5 children.

Nice to have more siblings but to call them family , is that a step too far ?

..kind of going off topic a bit, I watched Philomena the other night and it does bring home how awful it was for unmarried mothers in Ireland and the 'stigma' and not actually so long ago either and the whole Magdalene laundries etc...

Nedusa 26-03-2014 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK (Post 6770538)
I guess it goes down the nature/nurture debate. They are blood relatives but I would imagine (obviously just supposition) that you have a stronger bond with your adopted family??

It is romanticised I guess in movies and books where children are separated at birth and then find each other later in life but I guess the reality is somewhat different?

Yes I consider my adopted family my "family". And although we share the same Irish birth mother my half brothers and sister are more friends than family.

Cherie 26-03-2014 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedusa (Post 6770534)
Yes I have met them a few times but as they all live in Ireland it's difficult to meet up too often. My brother and I were adopted together as very young children but our natural mother went back to Ireland and married and had 5 children.

Nice to have more siblings but to call them family , is that a step too far ?

who made contact with who?

Nedusa 26-03-2014 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 6770577)
who made contact with who?

My brother got a letter from the Adoption agency from our birth mother asking for a meeting, we agreed to meet after some thought and met her ( birth mother) in the adoption agency . Emotional reunion and we have maintained friendly communication ever since. Met my half siblings over in Ireland , that was pretty strange too.

Niamh. 26-03-2014 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedusa (Post 6770553)
Yes I consider my adopted family my "family". And although we share the same Irish birth mother my half brothers and sister are more friends than family.

I'm a firm believer that it's nurture which creates bonds rather than nature. I would still be curious though i think If i were adopted to meet my biological family

Beso 26-03-2014 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6768388)
who is in his 50s? how on earth does one deal with that?

it seems he was adopted straight from birth but I don't know a great deal more

any advice ? experiences?

Just go with it, no need to rush, but I feel excited for your future.

Beso 26-03-2014 12:09 PM

ignore that, I see what you are saying now.

It must be pretty hard to take and you must feel a bit upset at not knowing much much earlier. But well, he's still, ya brother, don't let it change anything.

Cherie 26-03-2014 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedusa (Post 6770735)
My brother got a letter from the Adoption agency from our birth mother asking for a meeting, we agreed to meet after some thought and met her ( birth mother) in the adoption agency . Emotional reunion and we have maintained friendly communication ever since. Met my half siblings over in Ireland , that was pretty strange too.


She obviously never forgot about you. I think it is great you have had the opportunity to meet and get to know them, though I can imagine the decision whether or not to meet must have been a difficult one.

the truth 26-03-2014 02:19 PM

Im a taurus so I take my time, but when the time is right Ill ask him around to meet the family. its surreal just thinking about it to be honest.

Ammi 26-03-2014 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 6770950)
Im a taurus so I take my time, but when the time is right Ill ask him around to meet the family. its surreal just thinking about it to be honest.

..yeah, good luck with it when you do meet him, truth..I can't imagine how weird it must feel to be told that...


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