Thanks for the socioeconomic lesson, I can see both sides here if they have pooled resources then maybe she would have a right to a say. The girlfriend brought up the subject in a grown up manner as far as I can see, it's silly to suggest they cut down on things for their home to keep stumping up dosh willy nilly.

My mum is not just a "little" irrational. When she goes off on one god help you!

How did the rumours start? It must have come from somewhere. :conf:

But if she is paying for said luxuries herself we are still none the wiser as to her employment status, and said children in one case at any rate is an adult with own job! I recall a thread about lost Gaga tickets where a cleaner quitting was mentioned, yet a few weeks later the heating is an issue, not sure I'm buying it all sorry KL :laugh:

Lol, I know that feeling!

I think the rumours were started by her meeting people who my dad works with and saying 'my husband'

She knows what she's doing. She's one of those bitches who think she's so sly and secretive, yet everyone knows what they are doing.

I wasn't giving you a 'socioeconomic' lesson, I was responding to a point you made with another point, so there is no need to skit.

I completely disagree with your contention that; "The girlfriend brought up the subject in a grown up manner" because a 'grown up manner' to me is not humiliating the father in front of his children or embarrassing the children at the same time.

Yes, I would agree that it would be "silly to suggest they cut down on things for their home to keep stumping up dosh willy nilly" but this is not the case here, because the GF continuing to buy unnecessary expensive ornaments at the very same time that she is preaching to the father and his children the need to curtail his spending on them in their 'hour of need', hardly fits the sentiment of that sentence.

And in my opinion, even if they had 'pooled resources', if she really loved him, she would understand his heartbreak at being in a situation where he knows that his children need financial help but that he is financially struggling himself, and she would 'break her neck' to help him overcome such a dilemma - starting with forgoing buying any useless ornaments and suggesting that he give the children the money so saved instead.

I do not believe that anyone who truly loved someone who was in such a situation would add to his emotional turmoil by belittling him in public and compelling him to choose between herself and his children - which, is what she is really doing by her selfish actions.

If it was me, she would be straight out of the door - 'pooled resources' and all.

No woman will ever come before my children.

Again, just wow...

you truly understand what she is like. Thank you. It gives me hope knowing there are people as sensible and open minded as you are.

:hug:

i spoke to a family member tonight who has always always been a 'there are two sides to every story' person. and although ive always known she trusts me, she finally told me tonight (when i explained everything) that she's known exactly what my dads gf was the whole time, but wants my dad to be happy.

my aunt gave me brilliant advice and it was so relieving to hear that someone else knows what this horrid bitch is. and to know that the horrid bitch has been doing the same to my aunt... (well, thats not nice to hear, but I mean I'm glad to find out that someone else knows how i feel)

feeling a lot happier now... thanks everyone for the brill advice over the past few days :love:

well as long as you are happy that's all that matters!, right.

..I'm glad that there is someone in your family who you can talk to about it all and 'have a rant' with when you need to because it's natural that you will from time to time...I think that's it as well, she makes him happy and that's what you want for him also, whatever you feel about her so you'll have to try to not let her involve you as much as you can and not react to things she says... and I have every faith in you that you will be able to do that, Caitlin ..:hug:...

I'm quite fortunate my parents are still together, although there was a close call recently.

Anyway is the Step-Mom of yours hot or something Ninastar? It's the only reason I can understand why he would stay with someone that you've described as a money grabbing bitch.

hello mock, its all selective. plus she is not her step mum, she does live with them.

I suppose you do have a point, I wouldn't stand for it if it was me personally though.

Hello to you too btw TheSheriff.

Sincerely Marsh - you have such a brilliant sense of humour and such a razor sharp wit, anybody who wouldn't share a laugh with you about anything must be a right miserable bastard.

Glad you got it more or less sorted anyway, and always remember, that there are a hell of a lot of times when we don't get on with our own real birth parents, so the occasional 'tiff' with a step parent's understandable and not the end of the world.

This is unbelievable. Your mum may be hurt by the collapse of her marriage - and rightly so - but to issue you with such an ultimatum is very, very wrong.

You have two parents and will always have two parents, and if you still have a loving normal relationship with your dad, and providing his new wife is not the 'bitch from hell', then you must accept his relationship with her unless you wish to put him in the intolerable and unfair position of having to ultimately choose between his new wife or his child.

Try to have a word with your mum ITILYT, and explain to her that you're only being civil to your dad's new partner for his sake and in no way are you 'letting her in'. Reinforce the fact to your mum that no one could ever replace her as far as you're concerned and that being 'civil' to your dad's new partner is just that - tolerance without acceptance, politeness without affection.

I hope it goes well for you.

A step-parent is somebody who is married to a childs mother or father, so yeah, she's her step-mum

Glad it's a bit better now Caitlin :love:

They're not married jake.

Unfortunately though there's not alot you can do about it, it's terrible when you don't like a family member or good friends partner but ultimately it has to be them that decide to finish it, pushing the issue might only drive a wedge between you and your dad. Maybe you could try and spend time with him on your own without the g/f more instead?

I'm not married to my partner but I class myself as his other children's step mum and they do me too.

I am almost obsessive in making sure they all get the same from us though that our son gets. They are included in everything we do too.

I would never ask my partner to choose between me and his kids, I would lose every time (I hope).

I - obviously - didn't know this about you Annie, but from what I do know about you, I'd have put my shirt on at Ladbroke's that given just this situation, you would act exactly as you are doing.

Your partner and his children are lucky and if only all 'step parents' were as you.

:flowers:

Had a stepmum for about 12 years - my dad and her have recently broken up and he's with another woman now who is just as nice, but she will always be my stepmum. They had a child together and her two kids from a previous marriage will always be my brother and sister... we've grown up together and I wouldn't think of them in any other way other than my family. My whole family get on anyway - mum and stepmum have been best friends for years, some people say that's strange but it's actually really cool - I've never been put in a position of guilt between them, we even spend boxing day all together.

That's mint.

I do think step parent/step child relationships will be different when your parent meets that person after you're an adult though, you're never going to consider that person a care giver towards you or a substitute parent like you might if you were a child when them and your parent got together.

Post of the thread! and its the same for both the step child and the step parent, obviously if the child is young and dependant its a totally different thing to when the "child" is an adult and earning their own money. At some point all parents have to step back and let the person make their own way in life, we can't subsidise our children for ever! :fist: Its one thing giving Christmas/Birthday gifts but a total other thing to commit to money being given every month, there has to come a point in every parents life when we say if you want X, you have to pay for it yourself!

I agree with you but it sounds like Caitlins step mother went about it in the wrong way completely. She shouldn't be interfering in her partners relationship with his children like that. If she had an issue with the amount he spends on his children when they're apparently struggling themselves then she should have taken that up with him in private imo and let him deal with it himself.

:worship:

I acknowledged that she went the wrong way about it earlier in the thread :inamood:

:laugh: my apologies

In the true spirit of Christmas I forgive you :laugh: (love you Nimah).

thanks again to those who see the real issue here.

if you guys think that this is about me being upset about my car insurance not being paid... I think you need to read through my original post again.

I do not give one flying **** that I have to pay my car insurance. I am more than able to.

When I say I have no money, I mean that of course, money is tight. As it is with many people...

But I also have a mother who doesn't work and my dad who is meant to pay for the bills of the house and the mortgage etc... but he doesn't.

I know he's struggling. It's sad, and I really dont want that. But when my parents have been to court numerous times over how their money from the past 22 years should have been split, he should pay the agreed amount.

But he doesn't. He spends it on stupid stuff, like I already mentioned

this woman bought her 3 cats ****ing stockings with his money.

at first she was like 'nooooo, we can't, you have no money!!!!' but then she went on to be all huffy about it, until he bought them.

and to the people doubting this woman is nasty, even though it's obvious from what I've already said, she's been married 3 times already, and I've had people who have been involved with her message me on FB and wish me luck, lol.

So yeah, I know I can't do nothing about it. And yeah, perhaps she's just a lovely woman who I haven't given a chance... But I've not seen that side of her yet.

Last year when we went back to the states, she lied about me and my dad took my aside and said I was being awful, when I wasn't. I was so heartbroken that he believed her, that I had my first ever panic attack.

So please, when you say you don't know 'the other side of the story' or that 'maybe shes nice', just stop. You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

/rantover

Oh definitely. Aint that the truth.

Yes, I can always tell within the first few minutes whether I'll get along with someone. If they can't laugh at life in the face then I may not get along too well with them. :laugh:

Caitlin love - In my opinion - it was evident from your first post that you weren't at fault here, and that your dad's GF was, so you don't need to explain any more than you have already, and from what you have said already, my sympathy is with you and your sister.

I hope the problem gets resolved quickly, but I wouldn't blame yourself in any way if it doesn't. :wavey:

No need to swear! You posted on a public forum if you only want opinions that you agree with should say so at the beginning of the thread! Just because you don't agree with an opinion doesn't make it wrong! just one that you don't agree with

/exits thread.

thank you KIRK (not marsh!!!) :love:

dont let the door hit you on the way out xo

:unsure:

You're welcome! :smug:

lmfao

ffs

not you!!!!!

i meant Kirk!

sorry kirk

:fist: Stop nicking my plaudits.

A step mum.

ugh, i just found out that the reason my dads gf wants me to start paying my car insurance is so that she can send her daughter money because she got fired....

I have a step dad and he is fab x
He is really funny and a push over.

Wow - that is kinda rubbing salt in your wounds. I've already said what I feel about this Caitlin but now I can't see how anyone can think you're at fault in any way.

I just hope your situation improves somehow because it is untenable.