Any parent who has to resort to physical discipline is weak, unintelligent and unimaginative. Most of them are also aiming to raise children who are "obedient" instead of free-thinking, but moral, individuals. The aim is to raise a child who does the right thing because they know it is right, and because they want to do the right thing. Not a child who does the "right thing" because they are scared of getting a smack.

I can tell you exactly what that leads to. It leads to a child who gets sneaky, because they will carry on doing as they please when they are out of sight and sure that they can get away with it. And, because children are like little sponges with their parents behaviour, it leads to a child who thinks they can impose their will on other children by throwing their weight around and threatening to hit.

Every single genuine "brat" I've ever encountered does not come from a family with just, fair, non-violent parenting. They come from chav families with parents who have no idea how to communicate with them. And most of them do "get smacked", right there and then in the middle of the supermarket, because their parents are too thick and embarrassed to know what else to do. It is completely ineffective.

Let's not make it a class issue, there are parents from all backgrounds that smack.

I've worked with children of all different ages for over 6/7 years now. Honestly, I don't agree with really painful, over the top smacking, but I think the odd smack on the hand/bum/leg, wherever isn't that big of a deal. I think the real issue in parenting is that parents don't realise that they can't just comment on all the bad things children do. You need to make sure you give as many positives and compliments to them as possible, as well as telling them off for the bad behaviour. If you just smack your child every time they are bad and never let them know you're proud of them for something else, then they will just grow up to be afraid of doing anything. If you give them the odd smack or whatever, but always tell them how you're happy with nice things they do, they will end up being a lot nicer and more confident.

I dont agree with abuse. Who does? But I think theres a MASSIVE difference between the odd smack and making a child cry in pain from smacking them too hard.

I've worked in all kinds of schools. Upper class, lower class, lovely schools, truly, truly horrific schools. What I can definitely say though, is that childrens behaviour now, is WAY worse than what I ever saw at school. Children (for the most part) seriously have no respect. I honestly think the main reason for that is because smacking children became illegal/a taboo/a 'SHAME ON YOU!!!!11' etc etc and parents are now so scared of telling their kids off and being seen as abusive, that they just don't bother at all now. Which, in my personal opinion is so much worse than not disciplining your child at all.

I don't believe in bad children. I believe in bad parents who have no idea what they are doing.

Kids don't need to be hit if they've got a scary enough dad with a deep loud voice.I was smacked very little but i knew not to feck about when dad got home.

Exactly, I think if parents were able to take the time to "plan" a punishment they could surely think of something better than getting physical

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Lovely sentiments expressed in this post and I want to believe this is true and no one should ever smack their children.

But the reality is children NEED discipline and a short sharp shock can administer that discipline effectively, trying to reason with very young children is pointless, trying to make a deal with them or bribe them or threaten them is all pointless.

They must understand you are the boss and they should respect you. So a light smack in my view is acceptable and permissable and will not lead to deranged psychotic juveniles.

Children have been smacked by their parents for generations, how else do they learn respect and the diff between right and wrong. How else are they going to learn that when Mummy or Daddy says stop he/she means stop.

All this recent namby pamby don't hit your child because it's assault is complete and utter bollocks and has in part resulted in the current generation of misguided, spolit, diserespectful lazy, good for nothing, idle layabouts who think they have a right to everything without having to put in any effort.

They think they have a right to give a torrent of foul mouth abuse to an adult who chastises them for some minor transgression.

There does not seem to be the same respect for adults by children/youths these days and I wonder if the present situation has come about due to the lack of parental punishment in their childrens early years.






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The thing is, though, I have children... And they have never been smacked. So I don't "think" that it's possible for them to learn right from wrong without smacking, I KNOW that it is possible.

Something else to consider: my youngest daughter (aged 2 and a half) is on the autistic spectrum. She has many difficulties with language and communication and there are huge additional hurdles over a "normal" child. Three important points:

- she has very few words and doesn't understand many more.

- she is likely to get herself into risky situations (for herself and others) MORE than the average toddler.

- hitting an autistic child is *completely* inappropriate, even if you do think that in general a smack is "OK". She would for one, go completely nuclear and become very distressed and confused and, secondly, would be highly likely to regress / temporarily lose the words she does have / lose her ability to make eye contact and engage. This is a disaster for an autistic child.


Now... Here's the strange thing. She knows that "stop means stop". Two of the phrases she does understand and respond to, are "not to do that" and "not to touch that". You say "how else are they going to learn" and yet... Tadaaa... A 2.5 year old with learning difficulties HAS learned. Is it just us? Are we some sort of magical super parents with abilities that other parents don't have? I'd love to make that claim but somehow I don't think it's true.

I'd also point out that I have a 5 year old who is "normal", has also never been hit, and achieving all of the above was much easier. So it's not a case of it being different for "abnormal" kids.

I stand by my original claim that rude / disrespectful kids come from rude / disrespectful, chavvy, broken homes with broken parents. Most of whom think smacking is fine. Children learn respect by being immersed in a respectful environment. Physically striking someone for any reason, is not respectful.

Another anecdote: my daughter only has one friend at school who has ever hit her. She hits her, and her other classmates, constantly to try to get her own way. She is also very bossy and rude to other parents, including myself. I know her mother. I know that her mother smacks. Just sayin'. It's not teaching anything good.

Yep, totally agree with you in all you've posted there TS. I have 2 kids as well aged 10 and 14 now, neither were smacked when they were younger or now, both of them are very respectful, infact every parent teacher meeting I've ever been to both their teachers have always commented on how polite and well behaved my kids are. I'm a firm believer in kids learning by example so hitting them imo is teaching them that hitting people is ok....that's just logical imo

I think smacking stupid people should be allowed. Compulsory, in fact.

Totally agree! [emoji12]

Not too sure where I stand on this...having pretty much brought up one of gavs sons who literally did not listen to anything or no punishment seemed to work.

We tried everything we could think of, from letting him explain his views/feelings completely then attempting to sort out whatever his problem was(softly softly approach...), to taking away his toys for set amounts of time, to grounding him, to early bedtimes, to firm verbal retribution...nothing worked. Eventually our GP suggested a smack every now and again, not enough to hurt properly, but enough to shock.

There was never a problem with his brother and sister. A firm voice was always enough. They have never been smacked. But he had to be. It was the only thing that ever made him listen :shrug:

Those who are against smacking in all situations...what should have been done with him? Allow him to continue doing what he wants all the time?

smacking is a last resort but an essential one in emergency situations

wow a doctor advised that? I'm pretty shocked to hear that tbh.

Yup..it worked too. A couple of smacks along the line (taps is more like it tbh, but it did shock him) and now that he is 8 usually all it takes is a stern no and he listens.

People will judge because of this, but he was literally horrid. He would be constantly hitting/biting/hurting his brother and sister. Now he doesn't lay a finger on them (besides play fighting and such)

mmm I'm just not a fan of it, it doesn't sit right with me. In regards to your question from the last post though, eh I don't think I can really answer it without having been in that situation ever

I think ultimately a parent has the right to decide whether to discipline their child and what form that discipline should take.

Obviously there is a line over which smacking becomes abuse but only a very very small minority of parents would do that, and clearly they should not have children.

In general though the law must leave parents alone to decide these things otherwise we become a heavy handed fascist police state with everyone spying on everyone else.




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I agree, children are strange little things... my sisters daughter was very cute but a really obstinate, difficult and willful child compared to mine, I felt so sorry for her as she literally ran rings around her and every day was a battle from what socks she wore in the morning to how long she read for in bed at night.
She wasn't mine but I used to want to slap her sometimes :laugh:

I grew up in a time where corporal punishment in school was legal. I was caned a few times and while it hurt at the time, I very quickly learned not to do what I had been doing to get caned in the first place.
The police at that time would give a clip round the ear and send you on your way with a warning to tell your parents if they caught you doing wrong again.
It was worse in my mothers childhood, because then schools didn't cane girls, but if a girl misbehaved, they caned that girls brothers instead (The girl usually got a punch from her brothers anyway)
I don't know if it's right or not to slap children. All I can say is it didn't do me any lasting damage.

I got spanked regularly by a 19 year old girl....I have no complaints

:laugh: when my son was little, my doctor advised a clip around the ear for him.
He was treating me for a sore throat at the time, he used to say he knew when the school holidays were b the amount of mothers who were sufferng with their nodules.

What the... That is some seriously messed up **** right there!

All I can say to the rest of it, is that there are ALWAYS reasons for a child being aggressive or acting up. Always. Just because they're not obvious or because no one can be bothered to properly figure out what the issue is, doesn't mean there isn't one.

Shouting, threatening, coercing, bribing, blackmailing - none of these are appropriate "smacking substitutes". They're just more examples of lazy parenting. You absolutely CAN reason with a child of 4+ and reach a mutual understanding, if you take the time to properly know them and understand them. The key word is MUTUAL understanding and respect. Not imposing your will on a child and having them be obedient. An understood and respected child will be understanding and respectful. Most parents are just "too busy" (or too lazy, or too stupid) to bother and go with the easy options like shouting, screaming, blackmailing, threatening and hitting.

I hope you smacked her back the man hating *****.

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ive had to report you there marsh for condoning hitting women and making light of it, shameful:nono:

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