..I guess it's knowing the person as well..?...my dad would very much have been, don't be spending your time visiting my ashes young lady just be off to the pub with you and have a drink on me../or some such thing...it's something he wouldn't have felt had any meaning...

Fine I guess, not sure why we are debating this, as it is very personal, it would have been nice if people could state what they do without 40 questions about it, but that's TIBB for you.

Yes we always make sure to go birthdays/Christmas with flowers and like every few weeks just to tidy up and clean and what not.

Very calming places cemeteries. I just go and sit somedays thinking!

My family isn't religious either.

Some do over here too, it's nice

It really is silly and it's annoyed me quite a lot

Most of my deceased relatives were cremated. If anyone is to be buried in the future though I would visit them. The amount of times would increase based on how close I was to them.

I don't think it has anything to do with religion.

Yes, every Christmas.

Wasn't saying that, my point was that you more than likely follow their tradition rather than deciding for yourself given your age as well (without sounding patronizing).

No I don't and I should really. I just find it really uncomfortable.

Nope.
My memories and the love in my heart for them is enough.
I send off money to charities that meant something personal to each of my departed loved ones, Christmas presents for them sort of.:shrug:

Oops, my poor dad is still in the wardrobe nearly 7 years after he has passed.

I like
 

Graveyards are one of my favourite places too Jonnii. They are restful, often tranquil places, but I like to look at the inscriptions on the really old headstones because they are fascinating.

I write, and I've drawn inspiration for two horror stories (one published) from old headstones.

I don't know if you have heard of the Beatles (some haven't these days) but they took the name Eleanor Rigby from a headstone in a Liverpool Cemetery.

:laugh:

I visit my sister's grave every once in a while. I talk about the day I've had, the latest on the streets, the conversations I feel like we'd be having if she was still alive. And that may not mean anything to some people, but it means everything to me x

I don't think it means nothing to people Ashley, I think people are just saying they might feel better doing that elsewhere. For me the graveyard is such a cold place and a reminder of death more than the life of the person, if you know what I mean? But it's obviously a completely personal thing.

Also, sorry about your sister, she must have been pretty young

..Ashley...:lovedup:...that's it really isn't it...grief is so individual to everyone and how we remember and how we respect and love in death is also so individual and it's whatever has great meaning to us...there is no meaningless because it's whatever meaning each of us give things...

I go with my mum and Nan to my aunties and grandads grave every week in the nicer months but soon we will go every other week because my mum likes to put artificial christmassy wreaths on. My uncle is in a different cemetary and it's quite far away so we go on birthday and christmas.

My auntie loved flowers so it feels nice putting them on her grave, I always think she'd be made up with a bunch of flowers. I understand when people don't want to go or don't feel the need to but I always feel quite sad when we go and see a grave with nothing on, seems abandoned although I never judge.

Last year I put a present on their graves too. Nothing expensive but a keyring for my grandad and a lipstick for my auntie. Lots of people think thats stupid but it's how I cope - I don't like leaving them out.

Well I'd choose go actually, I wouldn't feel comfortable not going and I'm off to uni in a couple of years so I'll do what I can in that sense but I wouldn't not do something for it...

That's really lovely :love:

I already have a Niamh shrine in my house anyway.

https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qim...t_to_webp=true

:worry:

Exactly, that's why I'm a little shocked at seeing a couple of people trying to debate it...

:love: She was one of a kind.

Couldn't have put it better myself, Ammi xx

Yes I do, I personally find it helps to deal with things better if you have a memorial area for them (but then everyone's different I guess), somewhere to go and think about things, leave them flowers etc, of course I can do all this at home too or anywhere else but it's nice to have a specific place dedicated to them IMO.

I visit my mum and brothers graves every few weeks, tidy the place up refresh the flowers and so on and we also visit on every special occasion like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas day.

We have our own little traditions for remembering people too, during the Christmas period I have memory candles that get lit and on New Years Day after weve had dinner we let off lanterns for our deceased loved ones with little messages wrote on them, again not everyones cup of tea but it's our thing and we enjoy doing it.

Yes, very often.

My 2 uncles tend my granny and grampas grave and always have fresh flowers on them and they both died in 1974!

Also when I visit and its quiet I do hear a lot of dull thudding noises, I guess it must be some far off army base of something. Its more in the new graveyard.

:think:

Nope :/ I really should do it more often though

I'm going to today, it's 5 years to the day that my Bampy died and it'll be the first time I've been to his grave since his funeral, I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about it tbh and I don't know why.