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-   -   Woman marrying into husband’s family (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=332076)

smudgie 17-12-2017 01:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by waterhog (Post 9742476)
just minding my own this morning - some bird rosemary proposed to me and offered everything on a plate - house - money - everything.


I am only a man - ofcourse I accepted - this is 2017. :joker:
Congratulations you romantic devil.:love:

Redway 12-01-2018 11:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionRed (Post 9741059)
It wasn't that long ago when it was only the bride who was expected to wear a ring on her finger. Its only in more recent years that both families are expected to pay for the wedding or not pay for it at all and let the bride and groom foot the costs.
Its not so long ago that a brides vows were to 'love, honor and obey'.

All of these things are based on Christian values where the wife was deemed as meek and virtuous.

Bible teachings include:
Men should have authority over women and wives should obey their husbands
A woman's primary role is to procreate and bring up children
Women are more prone to sin
Women cannot be priests
Women should be sexually pure
Women should dress modestly
Men can divorce their wives, but wives cannot divorce their husbands
Women (and men) should not use contraception
Rape of women is less bad than rape of men
http://www.philosopherkings.co.uk/Womeninthebible.html
When was the last time “obey” was in a woman’s wedding vows?

user104658 12-01-2018 01:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redway (Post 9788271)
When was the last time “obey” was in a woman’s wedding vows?
Youtube video


And they all lived happily ever after, the end.

Vicky. 12-01-2018 01:23 PM
Like Niamh, I don't really understand this thread at all :laugh:

I 'married into' my husbands family I guess but he also married into mine :shrug:

DemolitionRed 12-01-2018 02:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redway (Post 9788271)
When was the last time “obey” was in a woman’s wedding vows?
Today?

People can still opt to use traditional wedding vows which includes 'obey'.
Up until 2006 you had to opt out of that vow so not very long ago at all.

user104658 12-01-2018 03:00 PM
Youtube video


:umm2:...

Redway 12-01-2018 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky. (Post 9788463)
Like Niamh, I don't really understand this thread at all :laugh:

I 'married into' my husbands family I guess but he also married into mine :shrug:
This thread's more about the historical implications of the whole thing though. I'm glad we're past those days but like someone else says it's traditionally a real thing.

Redway 13-07-2018 07:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionRed (Post 9788665)
Today?

People can still opt to use traditional wedding vows which includes 'obey'.
Up until 2006 you had to opt out of that vow so not very long ago at all.
Not long ago at all. Archaic practises like that take time to fade out completely.

armand.kay 13-07-2018 08:40 AM
Wait so the woman would abandon her family?

Redway 13-07-2018 10:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by armand.kay (Post 10085959)
Wait so the woman would abandon her family?
I’m sure you’re only young but I can’t believe you don’t know about the historical background of marriage. Rooted in misogyny.

kirklancaster 13-07-2018 10:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 9739807)
Nah I don't really know what you mean :laugh: It's not like you go live with his family? Surely they just become inlaws like the wifes family are to the husband?
:laugh: Same here, Niamh. I did not even know of this concept. To me, my wife took my surname following tradition, but she was not forced to, and we set up a home together.

Her parents became my 'in-laws' and my parents became hers.

(Ooops - just noticed that this is a resurrected old thread.) :blush:

jaxie 13-07-2018 11:04 AM
In a way this thread is kind of relevant to what is happening in my family. My son worked for a cruise line and travelled the world for 2 years. While he was doing that he met a lovely Asian girl. They are hoping to get married soon, visa allowing and she is coming to live with us I initially while they get on their feet. He has a good job but she won't be allowed to work here at first so it's cheaper for them to live here. So basically my son's wife is coming to live with his family.

She's a lovely girl and we are looking forward to it but are also very aware that she will be a long way from home. She's travelled a lot so she is used to be away from home but she is coming a long way to live with strangers, apart from my son who she knows very well.

armand.kay 13-07-2018 11:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redway (Post 10086084)
I’m sure you’re only young but I can’t believe you don’t know about the historical background of marriage. Rooted in misogyny.
Well I did anthropology and history so I do know a bit about the historical background of marriage. My post was just to ask you what exactly you mean/ how it could possibly be applied in todays world? The OP isn't very specific....

Redway 13-07-2018 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by armand.kay (Post 10086197)
Well I did anthropology and history so I do know a bit about the historical background of marriage. My post was just to ask you what exactly you mean/ how it could possibly be applied in todays world? The OP isn't very specific....
That’s what the thread’s all about though innit. Much as we’ve come a long way the throwbacks and hints are still there even in the West at times.

GoldHeart 13-07-2018 04:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 9739852)
Ok I don't know any couples in real life that let their husbands make decisions for the family, it's an outed concept that I like to think we're well passed
I think there's always that phrase "man of the house" but it seems to be taken another way, but really it can mean anything .

It doesn't necessarily mean he's a control freak , the decisions could still be 50/50 .

What about when people joke about women "wearing the trousers" in the relationship? :rolleyes: . But again it doesn't necessarily mean she's dominating her partner all the time.

Unless its a weird unhealthy relationship where both parties are bullying each other ,then that's an issue . otherwise these things like "wearing the trousers" & "head of the house" are just words :shrug: .

Redway 08-04-2019 05:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldHeart (Post 10086623)
I think there's always that phrase "man of the house" but it seems to be taken another way, but really it can mean anything .

It doesn't necessarily mean he's a control freak , the decisions could still be 50/50 .

What about when people joke about women "wearing the trousers" in the relationship? :rolleyes: . But again it doesn't necessarily mean she's dominating her partner all the time.

Unless its a weird unhealthy relationship where both parties are bullying each other ,then that's an issue . otherwise these things like "wearing the trousers" & "head of the house" are just words :shrug: .
They did used to be much more than words back in the day.

I agree the decisions are more 50/50 these days (rightly so).


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