Originally Posted by Daniel-X (Post 8089286) Nevett's reign of terror over? Will the supermarket ever recover? Is Toya here to stay?

Elroy Williams SACKED from Will's supermarket after slap happy video appears on Priestbook

Elroy Williams today was sacked from Will's supermarket after a video appeared on Preistsbook of him and Danielle McMaryMagdalaneMahon attacking a Jehovah's Witness. The video sees the pair savagely attack a Jehovah's Witness after they offered them a leaflet. Screams can be heard from McMahon who screams 'GET SOME BLOODY CLASS YOU EH WEIRDO MAN' while Elroy screams 'IF YOU CANT LOVE JESUS HOW THE HELL YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE'.

The video was leaked by a user named 'JemimaSlade17' who gave a live report and a blog on her views on the tragic events. A petition was then launched to sentence Danielle to live in a room with Helen Wood for a month. The petition managed to get 1 million signatures and saw Danielle shipped to Bolton to live with Helen who would terrorise her for her stay. Transgender Elroy appeared on late night magazine show 'Tonight with Liz Jones' to explain his actions however Elroy's interview was cut short after RuPaul sued him for copyright after using his catchphrase and appeared to shove a stiletto shoe into Elroy Williams throat.

Today in front of the press Will released the following statement 'I do not condone Elroy's attacking of the person in the video and he has been sacked with immediate effect. I hope that everyone can still manage to get down to my supermarket today while we have baked beans on offer thank you'

NEVETT EVANS FINAL ACT OF REVENGE

Just when Will's supermarket thought they were safe Nevett Evans today acted out her final act of revenge. Police were called to the supermarket after tourists heard 'I want it' by Chanelle Hayes being sung by workers of the supermarket and at first the suspected crime was that the workers were trying to deafen tourists. However, when police entered the building a cruise ship had actually been driven into the store and it was in fact cabaret singers singing the song. Police found Valery A Washington sprawled over an ice rink on the cruise as Torvill and Dean skated over her dead body not actually realising that her body was in fact the. Torvill and Dean were arrested immediately for suspected murder. Meanwhile worker LaDaysha Minaj was found impaled on a chandelier in the dining room on the cruise. While not actually dead Minaj has many injuries and is in intensive care at Dr Tila Tequilas hospital.

While police initially did not suspect that Nevett Evans was behind the attack Nevett revealed it was her after choking Jale Burrito on many frozen burritos in the supermarket. Nevett then revealed to the police she also crashed the cruise ship. Police threatened to shoot Nevett Evans but she revealed that if police shot her then they would also kill Doreen Soreen after she had smuggled her in her vagina and was attempting to start a new life with her in the Shetland Islands. The cruise ship then exploded in the store and caused Fanny Cumberbatch to bang her head hard on a dildo. Fanny has been reported to have amnesia and thinks she is Lea Walker.

All the other workers escaped leaving Nevett and a smuggled Doreen left in the store. As Nevett made one last attempt at fleeing the store she was hit over the head with a bottle of white wine and was killed immediately. Doreen then climbed out of Nevett's vagina and looked up to her saviour who just simply said 'I'm Helen Wood and I like white wine'

Originally Posted by Tøm (Post 8101472) LaDaysha is on the brink of a breakdown

BB legend Mary O'Leary joins store

http://i2.cdnds.net/09/29/550w_bigbr...craziest_4.jpg

BB legend Mary O'Leary has joined the employees at Will's supermarket under her new job description as 'Cafe manager.' Saskia Howard-Clarke originally applied for the job but was turned down because her boobs were false according to Will causing her to have a breakdown and say she hopes worker LaDaysha Minaj die. She assured to the Blackpool gazette this wasn't a racist comment because as she quotes 'I can't be racist I'm a quarter Sri-Lankan'. Mary's dog also applied for the job but after waiting till 4 in the morning for the dog to arrive Will eventually was left with no option than to offer Mary O'Leary the job.

While being interviewed by Roberto Conte, Mary commented 'I wanted to show my other talents. I can cook really fast with my witch powers I can whip up a curry faster than Makosi can say Cherry Tango.' Roberto interrupted her in her interview asking why she never cooked in the house and Mary appeared to scream back 'Roberto, Roberto! ROBERTO!' before flying off on her broomstick, while on her journey home Mary crashed into the stores parking lot and was rushed to hospital. Saskia Howard-Clarke was arrested outside hospital after taking Mary's monitor off 'THEY'RE HEART SURGERY SCARS BITCH' could be heard in Southport and the police were alerted.

Mary begins her job tomorrow.

New supermarket cafe opened

Today Mary O'Leary and Will1999 opened the doors to Will's supermarket brand new cafe 'Mother Mary's Magnificent Munch'. The cafe holds a hygiene rating of two stars making it the best place to eat in Blackpool. The cafe currently offers a wide range of dishes, varying from fish and chips to fish fingers and chips. The motto for the new cafe is 'If you like food which has been sat out under a light for hours then you deserve to get food poisoning'. However the supermarket could be in trouble as international superstars Blonde Electra are reportedly suing the cafe for fraud after workers Veronica and LaDaysha performed at the store under the names 'Mousey Brown Electra'.

Mary O'Leary commented 'I'm finding the job quite stressful at he minute we're getting at leat three customers a day sometimes even four in the cafe and I'm working alone. It's really difficult standing there and putting some food on a plate. I think if my marvellous cafe will continue to slay Blackpool, Will may need to employ some new workers.'

In others news Norah and Kathy have returned from their honeymoon with their new born baby! The couple reportedly took inspiration from the name Blue Ivy and have named their child Blue Waffle.

Originally Posted by Vanessa (Post 8129592) Don't mind me. I'm just doing my weekly shopping �� :dance:

Originally Posted by gamepodfan (Post 8129596) stop stealing my food