Into The Putin
Performed by Vladimir Putin

Youtube video

Set to the tune of Kylie Minogue's 'Into The Blue'

Our problems began with the gays
So I've put them all on a dick free diet
All these urges I'll erase
Those guys really need a Pussy Riot

I'll take charge and I'll set them right
No pillows left for them to bite
I don't care what's on their minds
'Cus Grindr's' got to go'

When I got my ass up against the wall
Don't need no homos touching me
'Cause I ain't dealing with Oz shower scenes
This Vlad's hepatitis-free
The gays are through, The gays are through
All their rights they'll lose, the gays are through

it's not only the gays that have me vexed
Czech it out because Eastern Europe's next
I'll leave it all a fiery haze
Then I'll go back to hating on the gays

I'm invading former allies
because Crimea is mine
I don't care 'bout the UN's fine
'Cus Ukraine's full of hoes

When I got my ass up against the wall
Don't need no homos touching me
'Cause I ain't dealing with Oz shower scenes
This Vlad's hepatitis-free
The gays are through, The gays are through
All their rights they'll lose, the gays are through

I'll go where the gays don't go
Wherever the men aren't blowing
Even if I'm alone

When I got my ass up against the wall
Don't need no homos touching me
'Cause I ain't dealing with Oz shower scenes
This Vlad's hepatitis-free
The gays are through, The gays are through
All their rights they'll lose, the gays are through

The performance entails Vladimir Putin capturing a group of gay people and teaching them to be manly and straight through traditional Russian pass times such as drinking Vodka, wrestling bears and playing the villains in Bond films. The captured gays serve as backup singers and dancers throughout. The performance ends with a stunning interpretive pole dance detailing how Vladimir will rid the world of Gays and Ukraine.