lol

My best mate is entering the X-Factor this year and I wanted to give him all the help and support I can.

So I've killed his mum.

dont get it

:pat:

What does a priest and a pint of guninneas hav in common?

A Black body, a white collar and if you get a bad 1 it will tear the ass of ya


now my joke is funny lol

Yes, you just posted it...

:D

People who bite their nails are full of themselves.

was that a joke ?

A girl in a bar said to me, "I wouldn't **** you if you were the last person alive."

Leaning over and whispering, I replied, "But who would be around to stop me?"

Wiped the smug look off her face.

Leave me alone.

Ger her told Claudia!!!

I know how you feel Goth, That Lauren girl has been writing crap to me all day.

I'll be friendly if she is friendly to me.

LB no you wrote too me dont lie put your dummy in !, and goth seems alrite

A man and his wife go to their weekend getaway in the mountains where the husband likes to fish and the wife likes to read
the husband came home early one day from fishing and went to bed

the wife decided now would be her chance to go out on the boat and read

so she did

she didn't know the lake very well so she just layed anchor anywhere and began to read

along came a officer and told her "what are you doing?"


"reading" said the woman


"this is a restricted fishing area"


"but i'm not fishing"


"that may be true but you have all of the equipment so i will have to take you in"


"if you do that i will charge you with rape" the woman says


"but i didn' touch you"


"this may be true but you have all of the right equipment"




Moral of the story is: never mess with a woman who knows how to read.

Thank you Lauren.

it's a statistical fact that six out of seven dwarfs are not happy

Madonna has said that she's saddened to hear of Peter Andre and Katie Price's marriage break-up.

She has also claimed first refusal on the blind black lad if neither of them want him.

---------------------

After it was announced that Katie Price and Peter Andre are to seperate, Katie said that she would miss the family holidays that they shared, the TV specials that they made and the companionship.

Peter said that he would miss the tit wanks and watching the fat, cod eyed black kiddy walk into the wall.

two aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. the ceremony was **** but the recption was brilliant

;D

^sorry. but that was ****ing awful

i jacked it off some guy in my form lmao.

Obnoxious irish X Factor twins John and Edward Grimes have claimed they can't understand why the public don't like them. Gentlemen, let me be of service. You are the most vile, arrogant, talentless, Irritating couple of **** wits to have come out of Ireland since Mrs O'Donnell's mid-wife smacked her newborns son's arse and said: "It's a boy." You are living proof that euthanasia is a good thing. The fact that you breathe the same air as me is an insult. Understand now?

lmfao

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."

After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick ****... How about yourself?"

The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some **** in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."