*deep breath*
Disney Music : I don't care how good a musician you are. Seriously. Bad musicians do exist that I have respect for because they try. No, you could be John Lennon and I would still hate you for being a Disney musician, because it's the principal that counts. You allow yourself to become a piece of merchandise in order to sell other merchandise to kids. You become not an artist, but another corporate cocksucker at the capatalist gangbang. That, and the music sucks.
UKRBAN, INNIT : I'm not sure with genre name is the correct one this week, so I have created my own. Essentialy, any identikit UK urban acts along the guise of Tinchy Strydah, En-Dubzah, and Dee Jay Ironikah. Not sure why I'm giving them Triple-H punctuation. You know your in trouble when the most complex issue your singer, songwritter is talking about is your girlfriend dumping you via 2010's biggest viral communicatin sensation - Ooble. Or whatever the **** the next piece of social whoring is going to be called.
Really, almost any 'urban' : You know I am pretty open to all genres and listen and like quiet a few rap, hip hop and R'n'B songs but I think with few exceptions it's time to end this fair/fair, 50/10 world we live in and declare this kind of **** as officialy needing less talent than some other forms of music. What do most rappers do? Fringe and underground artists aside, the majority have the ability to write about roughly eight topics, six of them being about da bitchez in one way or another. And then they talk about these subjects. Talk really fast. Over a beat somebody else has made for them in the studio because god forbid a rapper plays something bar his own ego.
And R'n'B does not get off quiet that easily either. On the surface it's more sensous, woman friendly nature may be an indication as to merit it more talent, but substitute 'talentless rambling' for pseudo emotional 'oh baby now I can't stand to loose you!' lyrics and throw in some predictable, droning beat custom made for the dancefloor. If you are not a sixteen year old woman fresh from a break up - you suck for listening to this.
SCREAMINGGENERICMETAL : And now we reach with great anticipation another stalemate of the musical world. This is partly damage control on my behalf because to some narrow minded people in the world only two types of people exist : You either listen to popular music like the rest of us or SCREAMINGGENERICMETAL.
Let me set the record straight, I really, really hate most metal. The standard varieties that involve playing your instrument as fast as you can or as deliberate as you can to some SCERAMINGAMERICAN complaining about how sometimes everything in life is just ****.
Metalheads always jump on rappers for having no vocal ability. It's time we give them a taste of their own medicine. Of course, not all metal is bad. What people don't realise is that it breakdowns into increasingly complex sub genres.
CHAVBEAT : : Ah yes, the much maligned Chavbeat. The music genre that has long since convinced desperate electrophobes that all electronic music is in fact valueless, and created for the sole purpose of getting teenagers doped up in Ibiza. That's not true, real quality electronic and even heavy trance and rave music exists, and your prejudice is to blame on this four to the floor, chipmunk vocaled, Scooterized, Clubland compilation friendly tripe.
Ever see the videos to some of this stuff on that Clubland channel? My god, it's like the end of civilisation as we know it! The video's usually consist of fourteen other dance classics of the 90's reworked into a 'jump' style. Presumably to get teens decked out in glow in the dark dummies to 'dance'.
This has what's become of the rave scene? A scene of genuine emotion, meaning and honesty? These kids think they are 'raving'? This devaluation of humanity also takes the form of The Super DJ. You know, like, say Tiesto. The guy you all have to face and raise your hands towards in religious praise, shattering the once fiercly individualistic point of going to a rave.
*and exhale*
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