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-   -   Ever struggled with your sexuality? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=220148)

Niamh. 26-01-2013 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben (Post 5798573)
Grow a penis and I'm all yours, babydoll. ;)

:laugh:

GypsyGoth 26-01-2013 07:57 PM

There was a time I struggled with it, and it was a pretty big worry. It once seemed like the most important thing in the world to me.

I've had two relationships with guys, and I think that confirmed to me that I wasn't hetro. But I still felt massive pressure to conform. I think life would be way easier being like most other people.

The only family member I've talked to in detail has been my sister, and she's been a massive help. And since I'm not dating anyone, I don't feel the need to announce my sexuality to relatives (even if I was, I think I'd keep it quiet).

Firewire 26-01-2013 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth (Post 5798644)
And since I'm not dating anyone, I don't feel the need to announce my sexuality to relatives (even if I was, I think I'd keep it quiet).

I think I feel a bit like this. I'm not dating anyone so I haven't told my family. If I got into a relationship, then I think I'd tell them but I don't feel like I've "needed" to tell them at the moment.

Ninastar 26-01-2013 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth (Post 5798644)
There was a time I struggled with it, and it was a pretty big worry. It once seemed like the most important thing in the world to me.

I've had two relationships with guys, and I think that confirmed to me that I wasn't hetro. But I still felt massive pressure to conform. I think life would be way easier being like most other people.

The only family member I've talked to in detail has been my sister, and she's been a massive help. And since I'm not dating anyone, I don't feel the need to announce my sexuality to relatives (even if I was, I think I'd keep it quiet).

I didn't know you spoke to your sister about it. That's sweet.

Amy Jade 26-01-2013 08:04 PM

Don't know it it counts but I always have crushes on gay guys lol

Black Dagger 26-01-2013 09:13 PM

I wouldn't say I've ever struggled, I struggled to come out to my parents and I don't know why because quite frankly, they were so supportive and I knew they would be. Ever since I've known though, I've accepted it and if people didn't, I'd move on with my life, I've never ever thought though (maybe once and only for a few minutes) that I wanted to be straight in life, I've always been comfortable.

Jack_ 26-01-2013 09:25 PM

Only in the sense of having to work out what the bloody hell I like :laugh: I seem to prefer guys in terms of physical attraction, i.e. most people I fancy (especially in the public eye) seem to be men, but with sexual and emotional attraction it's pretty much 90% towards women, which is quite confusing to say the least.

I've kind of just resigned myself to be open to anything. If I fall in love with a guy one day, so be it. I'll experiment with guys too at some point. I've given up on trying to define it, it's just fluid and I'm cool with it. For that reason I've never really felt the need to 'come out' as such, and so I've never really struggled with it in that respect, though I know that if I ever did fall in love with a guy then that'd obviously be the time to have to explain all...

I also don't see the point in labelling myself as anything either because it doesn't seem to be strictly defined for me as I've explained, but I just call myself bi because it's easier than having to explain all of this :p

Stu 26-01-2013 09:31 PM

You may have misinterpreted me there. I prefer girls almost always, including physical attraction.

Ryan. 26-01-2013 09:33 PM

Wow there are a lot of LGBT on this forum :P

Jack_ 26-01-2013 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 5798825)
You may have misinterpreted me there. I prefer girls almost always, including physical attraction.

Ah I see, sorry :p

Stu 26-01-2013 09:35 PM

No problem, fag :wink:.

thesheriff443 26-01-2013 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 5798837)
No problem, fag :wink:.

thats not even funny:nono:

Jack_ 26-01-2013 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 5798837)
No problem, fag :wink:.

:joker:

Stu 26-01-2013 09:39 PM

Well if Jack finds it offensive I'll delete it, sweetheart.

Black Dagger 26-01-2013 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryan. (Post 5798830)
Wow there are a lot of LGBT on this forum :P

It's a Big Brother forum, is it any surprise? :joker:

Munchkins 26-01-2013 09:56 PM

However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

thesheriff443 26-01-2013 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 5798845)
Well if Jack finds it offensive I'll delete it, sweetheart.

no, its all good!, treacle

Drew. 26-01-2013 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkins (Post 5798868)
However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

i'll second that

Munchkins 26-01-2013 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkins (Post 5798868)
However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

Also my OCD is so bad, and i think i'd always judge someone? id never feel they were good enough and im just too clingy id either be standoffish in an effort not to be.. or would just be an irritant
basically im not cut out to date someone, and thats just how it is :LL

Stu 26-01-2013 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 5798875)
no, its all good!, treacle

Then pick somebody elses dick to sit on for the night.

thesheriff443 26-01-2013 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkins (Post 5798868)
However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

your very young, and there is no rush, enjoy life, what will be will be.

Ninastar 26-01-2013 10:02 PM

I don't care about dating anyone. Like at all. I cant imagine myself being all cuddly with a guy nor can I imagine myself kissing one. But I could have sex with one easily. That's all I want from guys but with girls it's different. I'd be able to kiss/cuddle/do everything with girls.

Z 26-01-2013 10:04 PM

Yeah definitely. I've bounced between thinking I'm all sorts of things and now have come to the (current) conclusion that I'm asexual-bisexual. I don't enjoy physical intimacy really, it's not something that I think about and I kind of hate it while it's happening, it's not really enjoyable for me. It makes it difficult meeting people. I came out to my parents as gay when I was in a gay relationship; my dad was very supportive but my mum's never really said that she's okay with it but they still love and support me in all my other endeavours so I don't think it's a big deal. I think she especially would be delighted if I settled down with a girl one day. I'm in a pretty good place right now, I'm very single, not attached to anyone emotionally and my life revolves around my academic pursuits, my job and my friends and family. I don't think I would be able to provide another person with a loving relationship at this stage in my life, I have too much that I want to do before I settle down in any way. I think it's perhaps better too, that I stay single for now, while I still work through my thoughts and emotions on the matter.

Ryan. 26-01-2013 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Dagger (Post 5798861)
It's a Big Brother forum, is it any surprise? :joker:

I really didn't think there would be such an overlap :P

Stu 26-01-2013 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zee (Post 5798893)
Yeah definitely. I've bounced between thinking I'm all sorts of things and now have come to the (current) conclusion that I'm asexual-bisexual. I don't enjoy physical intimacy really, it's not something that I think about and I kind of hate it while it's happening, it's not really enjoyable for me. It makes it difficult meeting people. I came out to my parents as gay when I was in a gay relationship; my dad was very supportive but my mum's never really said that she's okay with it but they still love and support me in all my other endeavours so I don't think it's a big deal. I think she especially would be delighted if I settled down with a girl one day. I'm in a pretty good place right now, I'm very single, not attached to anyone emotionally and my life revolves around my academic pursuits, my job and my friends and family. I don't think I would be able to provide another person with a loving relationship at this stage in my life, I have too much that I want to do before I settle down in any way. I think it's perhaps better too, that I stay single for now, while I still work through my thoughts and emotions on the matter.

A lot here to admire.

Last year was weird for me because I fell in love with someone practically at first sight who instead became my best friend. I chased her in a really lazy way for about two months before she gently pointed out to me that in all that time we had become best friends and it would be just bizarre to change that. I recognized this straight away and there was no 'getting over her' process we just became and still are pretty much platonic soul mates.

I knew in my heart it was never meant to be so I had no problem accepting that. A lot of people found this strange and thought I was being disingenuous with myself because for those two months I was in love with her I was sick. I was just out of this world depressed, stopped using the internet, and drank like a fish. I was in my own bed maybe twice a week tops, other times on friends floors and couches. I'd go for pints between classes and sometimes show up to some with vodka mixed with energy drink because I felt I'm awful and the only way to better this is to publicly put myself on display as the car crash I so desperately wanted to be.

But no I guess I just have that element in me that can get real with myself and switch taps off before the room floods up. That's why the past few months have been so much easier for me. I'm not touching love again for a very, very long time. I can't do all that again. I thought I wanted to be in a relationship for ages but now I've learned to separate physicality and emotion. I get and give all the love I need with my friends and family. Sex is just a fun distraction.


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