| DanaC |
30-07-2013 12:49 PM |
She had every right to nominate him. He has no 'right' to her loyalty. She has told him countless times that she isn't interested in him in a romantic way.
But why not give that as the reason for nomination?
he has no right to expect her not to nominate him because of some romatic attachment, or because he has any rights at all.
He does, however have the right to feel betrayed.
As much as she has pushed him away, she pulled him towards. To his face, she says she is not interested in romance, but at the same time continually tells him she values supprt and companionship in the house. As much as it frustrates her that he jumps in to the end of her sentence and puts words into his mouth, she nevertheless seeks him out for deep conversations and tells him that she loves them. As much as she may dislike his wandering hands overstepping the boundaries of her personal space, she nevertheless gives every impression of enjoying his massages.
It is absolutely her right to set those personal boundaries in such a way that she is comfortable. She has every right to say this far and no further and expect that to be listened to. That she enjoys his massages sometimes does not mean she has to enjoy his caresses at all times. In giving permission to put his hands on her once, she has not given blanket permission thereafter.
But: as everybody in that house, including her, have identified, Callum does not seem to read social situations well. It cannot be anything but clear to her that with this man the signals have to be absolutely clear. Instead, she has sent mixed signals in all sorts of ways. She has been very clear that she doesn't have any romantic interest in him, but she has muddied the water when it comes to setting the parameters of their interactions and the extent or depth of the friendship that may be possible between them.
She has also consistently played with the fact that Callum and Dex see themselves as rivals for her affection. In her defence, a lot of that seems to be whilst drunk, but it heightens the situation.
Intentionally or not she has played with both of their affections. She clearly finds it frustrating and thrilling in equal measure that both men are courting her and combating each other for her attention.
What she has done isn't so terrible. She, like most of the people in the house, is young and still figuring out who she is. Being adored is a powerful thin and I cannot truly say as a young woman I wouldn't have been slightly thrilled by the idea of it, if not the actuality. But this is leading her to send mixed signals. And for someone like Callum that is clearly a very confusing thing.
So: whilst she had every right to nominate him, and he has no right to assume that she won't, it is still a betrayal of someone whose affections she has at times delighted in, and who has done her no harm. She could have talked to him in more open and frank terms about him touching her, and invading her personal space. She could have refused the massages and cuddles and tried to forge a less physically charged friendship. She could have steered the conversation away from herself during his stints as self-appointed Charlie counsellor, for example, by turning the questions to him. She could have asked him questions about his life, about how he felt, about his experiences. She could have steered the conversations towards other interests, lightened the tone.
Callum's confusion, and I really think it is confusion, was easily avoided. But it has been useful to her. Whatever else he is, Callum has been her supporter. And she has called on that support many times.
Had these been face to face nominations I very much doubt Callum would have been one of her choices.
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