| Jack_ |
02-12-2013 03:52 PM |
Actually in all honesty he didn't say he was bi, gay, anything...he didn't once mention any terms. He just said 'I'm in a relationship with a man' and 'I still fancy girls', and this column pretty much spills the truth:
Quote:
We shouldn't rush to define Tom Daley's sexuality
Reporting of the diver's announcement that he is in a relationship with a man but also attracted to women, suggests that being bisexual is still taboo
From such sentiments as "Finally! – we thought you were the last one to know, hon" uttered by a dozen gay celebrants, to MP Stella Creasy gushing "didn't think possible to adore Tom Daley more – today been proved wrong", Twitter abounds with 'Tom Gayley' praise today after the Olympic diver announced via YouTube that he has been dating a man since spring.
But the mainstream media can't quite get it straight, in any sense of the phrase. Does this mean Daley has "come out", as the Huffington Post has asserted? Or that he is merely in a "gay relationship" the staid and cautious phrase used by the Telegraph and ITV? Likewise, the LGBT media isn't much clearer on the matter, and instead seems intent on claiming Daley as a new gay icon – even the UK's largest LGBT news agency Pink News earlier used the headline (interestingly, since corrected but visible in the URL): "Tom Daley comes out as gay".
But hang on a minute, he never said that. Let's revert to his YouTube message of five minutes and 26 seconds where he does not once mention the word "gay", nor the phrases "gay relationship" or "coming out". Instead, he refers to wanting to be honest; the fact that he has been vague but never lied about his personal life to the media and doesn't intend to start now, and most importantly, expresses his desire to avoid being labelled by other people. So what do the media go do? Why, label him of course.
Technically speaking, if Daley has expressed that he "still fancies girls" but is dating a guy, it would be more accurate to report that he is bisexual. But bi-visibility in the media is a joke. Declaring yourself bisexual translates as meaning that you are one of just several things: attention-seeking and performative, promiscuous, or gay in denial to appease fans. What's more, when it comes to bi-visibility, the mainstream LGBT media and community are just as guilty of reductionism. So is it any wonder that Daley would feel uncomfortable using such a loaded term when his modus operandi since he hit the world stage is to protect his privacy?
And besides, what if it's not a term Daley feels accurately describes his sexuality right now? What if he doesn't want to use a label at all, but simply relay to the world that he's in a relationship that makes him feel great and that's the end of it?
As a sexual liberties campaigners, I agree with the sentiment expressed by, among others, playwright Stella Duffy, today: "why is it news at all?". But the reality is, sexual orientation in sport is topical, given the pending Winter Olympics in Sochi and in light of Russia's recent renewed, codifying of homophobia.
In a way, this makes not labelling Daley even more important. It isn't Daley's duty to carry the flag for gay rights in sport just because he's in a relationship with a guy. And the media would be wise to be as modest about Daley's announcement as he has been himself – until and if he decides otherwise.
The only facts that speak for themselves are that Daley is dating a man, and wants to be honest about the fact so the media doesn't try to make assertions about his personal life and preferences for him. Instead, the only thing that has been outed today is the media's rigidity – and stupidity – when it comes to reporting on sexuality.
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The Guardian |
