That's exactly how I feel Luke (HI BTW :love: long time no see!) I'd feel really guilty but if I had feeling for them I know the feelings would take over and turn me into a heartless lustful bitch BUT if kids were involved then I know that would detour me away from the bloke because I aint about to wreck a family. And before anyone says "OH BUT YOU'D HAPPILY WRECK A MARRIAGE YOU SWINE" I don't think wrecking a marriage is as bad because people break up ALL the time

Long time no speak indeed :love:

Yeah I wouldn't go near a family because that has more effect on the children , but if I had feelings for this guy and they are married and they are not happy in their marriage I will most likely date them but tell them to end it when they are ready. Some people only stay in marriage because they will be lonely and feel they need to, so I could be one to give him a reason he doesn't need to stay in a marriage. If they are happy then no I wouldn't go there tbh.

That's a silly excuse though.

That's like saying, murder isn't that bad because people die ALL the time. :smug:

Yeah exactly like if they are willing to cheat, obviously they're not happy in their marriage and would most likely end it eventually anyway regardless of whether or not we were to date them. And also i'm kinda selfish and think, if I have feelings for someone, why should I not pursue him just because he was stupid enough to marry someone he's not fully in love with.

It's not like that at all :hmph:

Just out of interest (and this isn't me judging you btw or anything) but say you were married for 5 years with some guy and a women co-worker of his who knew fine well he was married to you lusted after him so badly and eventually got him into bed.

Now despite the fact your husband is clearly in the wrong and the ultimate wrongdoer in this affair let's put that aside and think about the woman for one second. How would you ultimately feel about her knowing that she lusted after your husband and despite knowing he was married to you made every effort she could to get him in the sack. Would you shrug your shoulders and feel 'ah well it's fair game at the end of the day' or would you feel some sort of resentment towards her for her actions?

Not a relationship but i've banged a few married women.

Why would you want to be with someone who wasn't mature enough to end it first ... before dating others. It's allowing yourself to be a crutch and setting yourself up for a codependent relationship to allow someone else to use you like that

I've gone 5 years without dick. I'm past caring at this point, I'll bang what I can bang!!

the grey area is when they say theyre seprated and awaiting the divorce papers...how do you double check that?

what a chippy broad

Well..presumably then if they are separated...they are not living together

But yeah...there is a bit of a grey area in there... and also when someone flat out lies to you and says they are single unmarried or not dating anyone else. Those things are beyond your control sometimes when you are putting your trust in another person.

moronic shows like loose women or mathew wright in the morning always fails to question the subtle complexities involved for their dumbed down audience and their dummy cards telling them all when to clap

Not sure what this has to do with my post...and I never watch daytime telly anyways so I have no idea what they say.

That is a very valid point, I would hate for it to happen to me and I would DETEST the woman that slept with my husband, I'd think she was a slut and I'd probably hate her even more than I hate him even though his actions were slightly worse. So yes it's a weird one...
I personally wouldn't have a relationship with a married man purely sexually based, there would have to be feelings/love involved for me to let my morals slip enough to sleep with someone that has a wife. I'm not even sure I would do something like that, but right now i'm kinda desperate for a man to love me lol so in the mindset i'm in right now, I probably would, though any other time i've been like "EW any girl that sleeps with a married man is disgusting" so I'm not 100% sure if I could actually stoop so low.

i was referring to our innane banal stupid so called culture where so called tv experts spout their one dimensional drivel to millions and people actually listen
there is little advice out there on how to handle the subtle complexities of relationships especially in regards recently seperated couples

I think all relations and breakups have their unique complexities so there aren't any hard and fast rules... and I mean, going back to the OP... sometimes the heart wants what it wants and the best intentions to not do harm and be involved in the ending of another relationship isn't achievable.

I think if you are seperated... then dating others is fair game...but be wary of them still " working things out" or being on the rebound. It's only your heart that will get damaged if the feelings go deeper than those of who you are dating.

This is my stance on it.

Fair and honest answer thanks.

Don't worry though, you'll find someone soon enough no doubt. And in the unlikely chance that you don't there's always 'the truth' you can fall back on. He desperately needs a good woman to make an honest man of him :grin2:

..I don't think that cheating is about sex so much..(obviously sex is involved..)..but it's more the lying and the deceit from the person that someone has trusted more than anyone else in the world..the person that they've put their complete faith in and then who just becomes like a complete stranger to them when they realise the lies etc in the affair...if that isn't true/their relationship and their belief in the person they love, then everything about themselves is questioned as well....I don't think it's black and white and a one size fits all though, so it's hard to apportion blame really...obviously always the person in the marriage because they're the ones who have deceived and broken trust but with the other person..?...sometimes, that person is known to the wife/husband as well and their can be direct broken trust there as well...a friend, maybe..?...but even if not..if it was a work colleague for instance, it's also the thing that the cheating partner has made that work place an association of betrayal and so painful....and if we can't even be fine with our partner going off to work..?...or if it was something that had happened while socialising..then we can't then even be ok with a partner going out with friends anymore because of suspicion and hurt..?...it really just breaks everything and the sex bit, really becomes almost insignificant in that..(I know it's not but..)...


....anyways, it's interesting when children are involved as it feeling maybe something that wouldn't be done..?...I understand that but there are virtually always families involved though and in many situations, not just the wife/husband that would be hurt and it would cause so much pain to....if anyone has a child who has ever been cheated on, they'll know the pain of having someone they trusted in their lives as well, of them being a part of their family and how they very much feel 'cheated on' as well with the realisation of lies and that person is not who you thought they were at all and has so little thought or regard for you that they could hurt your family ...


...I think yes, always more responsibility and therefore, blame on the person in the marriage/relationship but the other person as well has to be ok with hurting people, they have to enter into it with full knowledge that, that's inevitably going to happen and that if their actions were different, maybe that person and others around them/their families wouldn't be feeling the 'broke' that they're going to feel...and that's not something that everyone would be ok with either...it's not something that I would be ok with or could dismiss from my heart at all, to cause someone to question there whole selves....

If they're actually separated then I would think that's ok......as long as they're both aware that they're separated :laugh:

I wouldn't date them or get my emotions involved coz it will all just end up being messy but I wouldn't lose any sleep if I slept with someone who is married.

maybe your opinion would change if you were married?

..that's the thing, it would be that simple for the other person because they haven't got the commitment and they wouldn't be deceiving but for the wife/husband...it would be so much more and a betrayal of everything they believed in../even a world falling apart type thing...I just think that not everyone could feel as though it's possible to be part of something who could emotionally hurt another human being in that way..I know I couldn't, regardless of whether I knew that person or not...

What goes around comes around..and Karma is a bitch.
Just be prepared for the fact that you wouldn't be able to trust a cheater.
Different if there is no actual commitment of course. Then anything goes.