I actually joked about that Sunday and she freaked out, so that's a big no no i think. More signs!

Just an update on this. Vicky especially, thank you for all the advice. And Vicky you are 100% right in how she is, she's obsessed with this guy, still all over him. I accept this, and im moving on, as from yesterday have gone completely no contact, blocked her everywhere so she can't keep using me as a back up, and stayed away from her social media. I still feel a bit crap, but im feeling much better, and positive it all now :D

Yes you should not be a back up you made the right decisions stay strong

I don't understand

Are you actually dating this person?? :conf:, if yes then it's weird what she's doing.

If you're not official ,then you can't really be annoyed with her, it's a little more tricky . Unless you've had a talk about getting serious with eachother?. I don't know the situation fully .

Good on ya ! never be a doormat for anyone , and beware girls like her always come back , you are worth better and there will be someone new around the corner who i hope treats you as you deserve to be treated.

So she didn’t like it when the shoe was on the other foot….so for her to be doing this to you is totally unfair.
It’s good to have friends of the opposite sex…and it’s great to have a partner that accepts it…however there is a line and it seems like she has over stepped it IMO…

Lol…I should have read the end of the thread….I think you have done the right thing…I hope you are ok :hug:

Thanks Michael

We were dating yes, and she was all over this other guy, 24/7.

Agreed, and thank you!

Thanks Rusty, yeah im doing ok thank you, everything just kinda hit me yesterday and today, and now im actually glad this happened! :laugh:

Oh ok I wasn't sure ,I've just read the rest of this thread .
Well if you were dating then you made the right decision.

It was an internet relationship and they had never met in person.

Finding it hard to see what she has done wrong, you are not together in real life so what is she supposed to do in her freetime not have any hobbies? The attacks on her appearance earlier in the thread were also gross. She sounds like the one better off rid.

Well they were…if you take the time to read the opening thread.

They have never met they are not together.

And trust me I've read the thread multiple times and held my tongue but the reek of misogny really needs calling out.

Clearly not read it properly….

If you're happy to see some poor woman be attacked and painted out to be a bad person because she's dared to give attention to someone that her internet "boyfriend" is jealous of that's on you I guess.

“She’s not what you call pretty” :skull: sounds like she’s better off and did the right thing.

I echo everything what Jordan said. It’s not fair on trying to make her into a bad person when she really hasn’t done anything wrong. You haven’t met so it’s not really a relationship.

It's classic manipulation used against women by their partners to make them not leave them. Sad anyone would defend it.

I didn't realise this :facepalm:

But this is the problem with ' online relationships' , unless you actually take things further then it will always be a cyberspace/ penpal thing . And the other person will likely always find other people to chat to .

Yeah her looks don't need to be brought into this , and swan clearly liked her in the first place .

Having met my wife online, I'm not going to say online relationships are not real, however they're not QUITE real until you're actually together. That just is what it is. And if she was more interested in talking to other people online than you well ... ... I'd say that's a pretty strong indicator that it was never going to be anything more than some online flirtation.

I'm like 99% sure it's a real relationship now, there are some positive signs so far, like living together for 14 years and having two children. We'll see how it goes from here :worry:.

No you've interpreted my point wrong. I was just tryting to look at this from every angle, trying to make sense of it. We have had plenty of conversations in the past where she's told me she's never really received any male attention in her life. So i was thinking, in hope as much as anything, that maybe she doesn't actually want him, she's just enjoying the attention from a good looking guy, as she said herself she's never really had that. However, i realise now it's deeper than that for her, and she genuinely wants this guy. The thing that was getting to me was the fact she's telling me she didn't want him, and that she loves and wants to be with me. But that classic saying "actions speak louder than words" has really come into play here.

And i've not been unreasonable to question her wanting to spend every waking moment with him. I've told her how beautiful she was every single day, i've sent her meaningful gifts. I've been a shoulder for her. I wasn't great to her don't get me wrong, and she wasn't great to me. The relationships was great at times though, but in reflection it wasn't very healthy, and was overall quite toxic. It really did feel real i must add that, we was on the phone 24/7, it was everything real with a relationship, bar the physical side (which granted is a big one).

As for being a misogynist, no lol. I was raised by my mum, had a female counsellor throughout my teens, a couple of female Doctors who have been good to me. I trust women, i gravitate a lot more towards women. The only man i've ever trusted is my Granddad.

I can't say I disagree with Jordan and Luke's points about your comments on her appearance, it did read like you thought she should think herself lucky that you're interested in her because she's not very attractive and no one else would be. It's a bit strange to say on the one hand you think she's gorgeous but on the other she's not physically attractive

Nah trust me, if it read like that i apologise, it wasn't meant to come across like that. I was just trying to make sense of the whole "i love and want you, i don't want him" yet spends every waking moment with him. And i can assure i don't have anywhere near a high enough opinion of myself to ever think like that, with anyone.

I thought you met your wife at Uni?