Don’t sweat it, Zizu. Our bodies need all these vitamins to varying extents so the worst that can happen is that … y’know … it doesn’t work or it works but you happen not to really need it. None of it can do you any harm.

And how do you get on with your ASD day-by-day, Zizu (I’m not just talking about the positive quirks)? Do you feel like people misunderstand the essence of who you are and don’t treat you right if you tell them or do you just go with it, regardless of what us “normies” might think?

How religious are you with your tablets-regime (if you regularly take medication)?
 

I’ve got to the stage where I do my own thing at work ( and at home ) .. everyone knows I’m a bit quirky and need my routines to cope .

The Covid years really took a toll on my mental well-being though and I’m still struggling somewhat.

I was just so scared of dying after seeing all the tv footage of the over crowded hospitals in Italy ( I think ) then it swept through the UK ….


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Ah, I see. Do you feel like your natural personality would be (or is, even) more extraverted, maybe even a little ADHD-like, if it wasn't for your Asperger's?

How religious are you with your tablets-regime (if you regularly take medication)?
 

Yes for sure I’d be far more outgoing and optimistic I’m certain ..

… I have loads of ADHD traits and both our kids are ADHD .. thankfully neither have my autistic issues though .


As it is I’m trapped in an extremely anxious / introverted shell .. and can’t face going to live concerts or football matches , parties / gatherings etc

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Gotcha. One thing that annoys me a lot is when people meme-ify introversion as social anxiety, shyness, lacking in basic social skills/being totally “antisocial” (which as a term often isn’t really used correctly in the first place) or (when there’s a bit more cue/body language-awkwardness to it) even autism and that doesn’t help people stand a good chance of understanding the fact that introversion and extraversion (even in a purely social-dimensional, so not even full Jungian/Myers-Briggs-y, sense) are just equally normal poles on a continuum that both have their pros and cons. No-one’s 100% either anyway but contemporary Western society is quicker to lump normal (social) introversion with social anxiety, autism and incipient depression more than extraversion and the pathological/neuro-atypical equivalents of that (A.D.H.D., grandiose narcissism, bipolar hypo/mania). We don’t tend to inherently value people who want to be alone as much or understand the fact that your typical ego-syntonic introvert is no more socially anxious or on the spectrum than an extrovert who can’t sit still unless they’re actively engaged in something social is ADHD or on the brink of hypomania. Treating introversion like a mental illness or at the least a negative personality trait/social deficit to be overcome doesn’t help anyone, whether they’re neurotypical or not. We all need some degree of socialisation as well as some degree of internal awareness/sense of identity and reflection and there’s nothing wrong with either, even if the latter doesn’t show up in the most socially lively or exuberant way. It doesn’t make being quiet a bad thing or badly matched to your personality, whether you’re on the spectrum, a neurotypical introvert, an extrovert with ADHD or (less typically) social anxiety or just a bog-standard self-identifying extravert/outgoing person. It’s all about the balance.

It’s a complex issue for sure ..

On balance I guess I wouldn’t change too much about myself .. I do enjoy certain aspects

.. I love being obsessed with so many different things like music / football and various other sports , movies , snakes / animals and a few other things …the majority of autistic folk seem to only get to have one obsession

The only snag is I don’t really have enough hours in my days … luckily I only need 4 to 5 hours sleep each night .

:)


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They're prescribed, for occasional use if I've had to do a lot of walking/time on my feet. It hadn't (and won't) heal properly, I'll probably have to bite the bullet and get it fused/plated at some point but it's like 2 months off my feet entirely and then another 4 with boot/crutches if I do so not really ideal. Naproxen has more of an effect than the codeine tbf... but I double up if it's stopping me from sleeping.

Your special interests are your special interests. I’m known for being a little bit skeptical over the whole autism thing though. I’ve been that way for a while and I don’t particularly like all those ASD labels but especially since the day it turned into a niche quirk for TikTok wannabes and started getting used to pathologise the most normal of personality traits (including a slight degree of social awkwardness that isn’t necessarily a direct result of shyness) but to be fair there probably is definitely something that happens to social cognition on a neurodevelopmental level that causes things to develop a bit differently but a lot of the symptoms of Asperger’s (I know that term’s not officially used anymore but in my head it still helps sometimes to use it in reference to the milder end of the spectrum) are just an attenuation of a conglomerate of ordinary personality traits (most of which the average male especially has a bit of going on anyway, including that big one about struggling to express empathy; ASD or no ASD that’s just a stereotypical blokey thing) and the very fact that Asperger’s isn’t used officially diagnostically anymore means that people on my side of the neuro-fence (so people who aren’t necessarily on the spectrum) have to refer to everyone on it as autistic now. It’s not really my battle to fight but to me it feels like doing that overrides a certain subtlety and confuses people’s understanding as to what the whole spectrum thing’s about in the first place. It doesn’t make much sense to just use it indiscriminately when you could either be talking about a hyper-genius who’s just a little more socially awkward/nerdy than the average person (which isn’t where I’d draw the line at non-Aspergic vs. Aspergic personally) or someone who genuinely can’t use any known type of communication at all or even to literally feed or bathe themselves now, or anything in the middle. It’s sort of become trendy to be neurodivergent and to self-diagnose yourself with it if you start to view yourself through a certain lens. And the more you internalise that label, the more you’ll become it at the end of the day (I’m not talking about you specifically at all) so I just wouldn’t bother labelling someone who’s only on the borderline of the spectrum at most. I’d just call them socially awkward and maybe quirkier than usual. But still neurotypical, even if at the extreme periphery of it. Add genuine social anxiety or a love of routine (two different things but you know) and it can start to look like what we freely call autism now even if it’s not. The person beneath that somewhat Aspergic demeanour is completely normal and that’s the real them, not the mis-projection that gets conveyed to people who don’t know them that well or understand their interests (if it’s a case of being a bit more nichely nerdy like that). And there’s an inherent difference between ‘neurodevelopmental autism’ and ‘schizoid autism’, IMO.

Hardcore video gamers can also go down the lane of becoming really socially awkward and can present as a bit odd like that for similar reasons but again the real person underneath is often neurotypical. You just have to know them to see them for anything like who they truly are unless you never deeped it that much in the first place and always thought they were normal in the first place, just a bit awkward (which is just as often the case). It’s a tricky one but generally I try and just take people as they are, not what they might seem on the outside at times. I don’t like to just call people autistic or neurodivergent or make too many concrete assumptions about them just for the sake of voicing an impression I might have of them that might not even be the right or most accurate one at all.

Oh, is it.
Fairs.

So it’s really that bad you’re going to need plating, then, SB?

Just an awkward break that has generally poor outcomes, and it was missed for 2+ months until the xrays were seen by a proper foot ortho consultant. Outcome could have been better with early surgery but you need to have it ASAP, within days if possible but within a couple of weeks max. They thought it was just a soft tissue injury, by the time the fracture was identified it had already partially healed so the only surgical option is rebreak/bone graft/plate and fuse the joint.

For an explanation of why it was missed, one is simply that it was only seen by junior ortho doctors, I was on my third one before they noted an "maybe slight abnormality just here" on x-ray and had the foot specialist consultant look at it. Consultant identified the injury straight away on sight.

The longer answer is that the foot has a tonne of bones like a jigsaw puzzle - because my break was from pressure/twisting rather than impact the bone that fractured is one of the "internal" ones and the break was on inner child edge of it, totally hidden in a normal x-ray, only shows clearly on a weight-bearing xray.

Anyway the shirt of it is, the bones of the foot all sort of glide/slide over each other and I now have a misshapen one with a bone deformity, which would need to be shaved off and the bone fused to the neighbouring one. So in theory, reduced pain but also reduced flexibility in the foot (so permanent stiffness). And it'll probably be arthritic within a decade either way :idc:.

Also I've been jinxed by this thread - GP appt yesterday afternoon and I now do have regular meds :oh: 2x daily naproxen, morning and evening and omeprazole because apparently regular naproxen ain't very good for the tummy. I'm going to need one of those pill planners that old folks have.

My threads tend to vaguely correlate with the reality of what’s happening in the here-and-now. What can I say. I hold a low-key crystal ball

Hope you get your tummy sorted anyway.

Had this weird, random nervous pain across my spine and stomach since last night. Gabapentin and paracetamol have done next to nothing. I had very little faith in gabapentin to begin with but at this point I just know it's not for me. Ginger and chamomile tea help more.

Apparently doxepin can help with stuff like that, too. It's technically a tricyclic antidepressant (one of the older, more potent classes of antidepressant - amitriptyline's a well-known one that's still prescribed a lot nowadays - that have a better chance of actually working) but what it does really is function as an extremely potent anti-histamine that can also help with hives and acne. That, Clearasil/CeraVee and Lumin could probably revitalise anyone's skin.

Day by day.

My life depended on them so I took them as prescribed.