happy <3 get to see him twice this week. <3

Exhausted.

Gotta go enroll on a psych course though, meeehhh, wanna sleep!!

Still half asleep,I just slept for like 11 hours.

HAPPY AND TIRED.

Just finished a 2 hour exam after not sleeping at all last night. But, my bf is coming round with some nice food then I'm having an afternoon nap, and I don't have another exam for 4 days! Woooo.

Impatient and also feeling like I should study.

ill/down

Thinking about too many things and wondering my status in the world

Rushed.....awww Annie your one of us my darlin what higher status can you get!? lol

Well that is VERY true :joker: :hug:

thoughtful

Glamorous and sickly...as always.

Better... And happier cos my brother made me lunch

unimpressed

why?

Absolutely breakbroken and cant stop crying

Matt is a C.U.N.T
And I know I should be trying to move on and everything but we kinda had a chat the other night and he was soooo lovely and I felt so bad for leaving and canceled my holiday and everything and then today I didnt get a text he sent, wanting to meet up after his work and he was like in a mood that I didnt meet him etc.
So then I was like sorry I didnt get your text bla bla bla and then on bebo he has all these updates like:
Matt Russell says "Matt is sitting Watching the talent go by. God the weather brings the beautys out eh
Matt Russell says "Debating if its wise to date a work mate or just shag them
Matt Russell says "Matt ***** on all the comments below. Lifes to short. I'm away to get a blow job
Matt Russell I need a blow job. Forgotten how it feels lol
Matt Russell Changes his mind, double lol


And I am just like roaring my blooming eyes out cos I dont want him to hurt me anymore and he doesnt stop. I am actually in pain from what he is doing to me and he doesnt see that. Its all just a big joke to him and I am completely destroyed and half the person I used to be.

:bawling:

Oh dear! well sounds like a nob yer best of out of it!

I have tried to be out of it but I am still crazy about him and its killing me. I tell myself to walk away but I fall down.

ahh I know its a hard one...but honestly...""Debating if its wise to date a work mate or just s**g them" = nob job heheh

Annie this happens all the time, I bet you've seen it happen to one of your mates.
You have two choices.

You keep going back to him, he hurts you, you blame yourself for going back to him, you become a shadow of your former self, you lose any confidence and you become dependent on making him happy. You'll end up walking on eggshells not to do anything "out of line" cos then he'll go and hurt you again and the cycle continues.

Or, you grit it out. You stay away from him, delete him from all social networking sites, delete and block his number, get him off msn. Initially, this is going to be harder than the above thing, but there's a point you reach where you look back in retrospect and realise what a ****ing lucky escape you had.

You know what you should do - for your own sanity, at the very least. It just requires you being strong and putting your foot down, easier said than done I know - but get back to the Annie you used to be by first taking the step to be assertive. Try and see friends a lot, build your life away from Matt. Cos you've been with him so long, and living together - you've probably moved away from friends and your life revolved around him for some time - it's time to get your life back and rely on no-one.

Good luck, and sorry if I've pried into your personal life with my advice LOL :hug:

Knackered but I haven't done anything. I'm going to the cinema in a bit, yay!

Thank you Lauren. You know what? You are actually spot on. I went back before and went through all the things in option one. People who dont even know me, like on TiBB can see that I am half who I used to be.

I have deleted him from my bebo and facebook and hopefully I will be able to start seeing my friends more and concentrating on other things. Its just when he says jump, I have always said how high? And I need to try and be sooo strong.

But thank you so much for your advice. You are totally right and I do know what I SHOULD be doing. Its just doing it thats the hardest thing.

:hug:

Absolutley terrible! this week has been awful and i'm dead depressed now
:sad:

Tiny bit tipsy but not much :sad:

jealous of Lauren being a tiny bit tipsy:spin2: