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-   -   Abz "I've got Aspergers" really? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=236402)

Roy Mars III 28-08-2013 02:11 AM

oh, okay, carry on then

Blue Cadillac 28-08-2013 02:11 AM

[QUOTE=08marsh;6338906]Opinion is fine. Judgement about someone's medical diagnosis with no possible way of knowing the facts is not.


Which is why I'm reserving judgement at the moment, as previously stated, if you'd care to read my posts with any diligence.

However, getting back to the point, my opinion is that Abz needn't have broadcast his alleged Asperger's on national tv - I'm not sure that was necessary, other than to possibly create a wave of sympathy. And my original point was that I felt it was unusual for a person with Asperger's to want to be so acutely in the public eye. Not impossible - just unusual.

Neither you, I nor anyone else frequenting this forum knows anything solid about Abz's 'medical diagnosis', and so it is supposition and speculation on all of our parts.

sway 28-08-2013 02:13 AM

It's hard enough to diagnose people who really have aspergers, without people leeching off the syndrome to get sympathy..

those with it get bullied, isolated, under-rated etc.. with it now being trendy and emo, those actually with it get mistaken, bullied, etc... it makes people think Aspergers is just about being 'shy, reserved' etc.....

Roy Mars III 28-08-2013 02:13 AM

[QUOTE=Blue Cadillac;6339694]
Quote:

Originally Posted by 08marsh (Post 6338906)
Opinion is fine. Judgement about someone's medical diagnosis with no possible way of knowing the facts is not.


Which is why I'm reserving judgement at the moment, as previously stated, if you'd care to read my posts with any diligence.

However, getting back to the point, my opinion is that Abz needn't have broadcast his alleged Asperger's on national tv - I'm not sure that was necessary, other than to possibly create a wave of sympathy. And my original point was that I felt it was unusual for a person with Asperger's to want to be so acutely in the public eye. Not impossible - just unusual.

Neither you, I nor anyone else frequenting this forum knows anything solid about Abz's 'medical diagnosis', and so it is supposition and speculation on all of our parts.

because he is trying to explain why he may not be as involved with others in the house. As many people will Asperger's he may find it hard to get on well socially with the other housemates, esp. with small conversation.

sway 28-08-2013 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roy Mars III (Post 6339692)
I too have 'mild Aspergers' and have always had trouble, esp. when little, dealing in social situations and I see no reason why Abz can not have aspergers.

I just dont believe he could have led that lifestyle in the 1990s and now after the split, untreated post-depression turns into 'aspergers' .. it confuses the actual syndrome.

Roy Mars III 28-08-2013 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sway (Post 6339699)
I just dont believe he could have led that lifestyle in the 1990s and now after the split, untreated post-depression turns into 'aspergers' .. it confuses the actual syndrome.

it would not be the normal situation for someone with Aspergers but I don't really know his mindset or actions at the time so I'm not doing to dismiss his claim just for that

Blue Cadillac 28-08-2013 02:18 AM

[QUOTE=Roy Mars III;6339697]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Cadillac (Post 6339694)

because he is trying to explain why he may not be as involved with others in the house. As many people will Asperger's he may find it hard to get on well socially with the other housemates, esp. with small conversation.

Okay. That could be a possibility. Or, could it be that the drugs he's taken in excess in the past have had an adverse affect on him? There are a number of reasons why he could be the way he is. Having worked with drug abusers in the past, I've seen this type of behaviour in abundance.

sway 28-08-2013 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roy Mars III (Post 6339700)
I'm not doing to dismiss his claim just for that

well if he did lie after he lightens up a bit that'll pi$$ me off. even though as I said hes history doesnt really prove it. I bet he was 'self-diagnosed' one drunken night on a website quiz and it has changed his mental state conciously believing he is, which has molded him into some hermit. (non-aspergic hermit)

Freddythefrog 28-08-2013 04:51 AM

It is strange how someone having AS can suddenly recognise whether another person has it or not, I have a masters degree in AS and have met countless people upon the autism spectrum, some are easily distinguishable but others only display minor traits, often you need to get to know them much better to recognise how AS impacts upon them.
It is disrespectful to assume someone is or is not on the autism spectrum just because they do not show obvious stereotypical traits.
I am not saying he is or is not but in my experience, one of the last people to recognise whether someone has AS is another person with AS.

Northern Monkey 28-08-2013 06:26 AM

I don't know enough about it to comment really.I would assume that if he has been diagnosed with AS by a proffessional then they would be right though?I mean,Would he go on telly and blatently lie about it?I doubt it tbh.

Verbal 28-08-2013 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddythefrog (Post 6339736)
It is strange how someone having AS can suddenly recognise whether another person has it or not, I have a masters degree in AS and have met countless people upon the autism spectrum, some are easily distinguishable but others only display minor traits, often you need to get to know them much better to recognise how AS impacts upon them.
It is disrespectful to assume someone is or is not on the autism spectrum just because they do not show obvious stereotypical traits.
I am not saying he is or is not but in my experience, one of the last people to recognise whether someone has AS is another person with AS.

:worship:

thesheriff443 28-08-2013 06:34 AM

abz is a washed up boy band member that blew his money on drink and drugs, he gets no sympathy from me!, regardless of him having as or not.
the way he talks is a complete joke, needs to p*ss off and get a job.

mr rochester 28-08-2013 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddythefrog (Post 6339736)
I have a masters degree in AS



I did not realise one could get a Masters in a syndrome...where did you study for your Masters?

watchinittoomuch 28-08-2013 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boomoo (Post 6337946)
More than that. Children are being awarded disability allowance and motobility allowance which is a huge incentive to get a diagnosis of Asperger's or Autism.
On motobility surely a parent already has a car and does not need a free one.
The rules are that the person who has the award must be in the car. Wonder how often that rule is broken.?

It is extremely difficult to get the level of award you are talking about, it is usually given to families with children at the most severe ends of the spectrum, possibly non verbal, need help with mobility and may need a larger child's push chair, have other disorders and conditions that further affect their diagnosis etc.. My son has Aspergers and get's lower rate care and mobility, and at 17 years old uses it himself. I think my point is it would be almost impossible to push for an autism/aspergers diagnosis purely to claim for a car or dla, theyre not easy to get, take alot of time and require a massive amount of evidence, for the diagnosis itself, and then for the dla to be awarded after.

I also cant believe some of the comments Ive read on here that its for sympathy, or that it's cool? As a parent, let me tell you, its neither, and society is neither understanding nor forgiving enough for it to become a reason to gain votes in a reality show. Most people are unaware of what aspergers really is, why the hell would they vote for it?

qwerty8883 28-08-2013 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sway (Post 6339688)
I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

tell you what mate. take your head firmly out of your ass. The Autistic spectrum is on of the most diverse that you can imagine and no two people on that spectrum are alike. You cannot make a comparison with your own condition to his.

I would say that you dont have Aspergers.

qwerty8883 28-08-2013 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sway (Post 6339688)
I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

infact being on the spectrum myself i would presume that you (being an aspe) would understand the fact that people on the specturm create false personalities to deal with social situations and to manage anxiety problems (this is a major factor in the cyclic breakdown of people with the condition as mental fatigue from maintaining that persona takes its toll over a prolonged period and is unsustainable for most and if not all)

Dont make wild claims about what you do and dont know without first doing the relevant research.

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Livia 28-08-2013 09:35 AM

No one can make a diagnosis of someone from reading about them in the press and watching them on TV. Not the best doctor, not the best specialist... no one.

Jarvio 28-08-2013 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sway (Post 6339688)
I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

What a load of bollocks.

I have aspergers myself, diagnosed by a professional earlier this year - and I am insulted by this post.

The fact of the matter is, NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH ASPERGERS ARE THE SAME.

FreddyTheFrog's post nailed it tbh, I agree with him.

watchinittoomuch 28-08-2013 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 6339878)
No one can make a diagnosis of someone from reading about them in the press and watching them on TV. Not the best doctor, not the best specialist... no one.

Hello Liv, ltns:xyxwave:

What you say is completely true of course, but I can, having watched me telly, safely say that Carol loves her bevvy lol

Blue Cadillac 28-08-2013 09:48 AM

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6339874]infact being on the spectrum myself i would presume that you (being an aspe) would understand the fact that people on the specturm create false personalities to deal with social situations and to manage anxiety problems

To be fair, I think a lot of non-Asperger's people are probably guilty of doing this too. For example, if going for a job interview, how many people might make themselves out to be someone/something they are not, in order to impress the interviewer? Many people suffer anxiety and stress in social situations, and I think there's a very fine line between everyday stress management with most folk, and how people with Asperger's cope with their anxiety - which is exacerbated tenfold, largely because those with Asperger's are unable to channel their emotions and anxieties in the same way.

Livia 28-08-2013 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by watchinittoomuch (Post 6339888)
Hello Liv, ltns:xyxwave:

What you say is completely true of course, but I can, having watched me telly, safely say that Carol loves her bevvy lol

Hey WITM!

I have a sneaking suspicion you may be right about Carol LOL...

Jarvio 28-08-2013 10:01 AM

When I was diagnosed with aspergers (which is an ASD) earlier this year it made perfect sense to me. Life is an enourmous challenge for me. This is why I am so insulted by many posts on this thread - accusing someone of not having the condition (and yes, it is a condition) is horrible.

It's called generalization - many of you people are generalizing, grouping people with an ASD together as the same.

I would never go on BB, I couldn't think of anything worse. But if Abz wants to, that doesn't mean anything about his condition, because Aspergers, and ASDs in general, are so damn broad. Nobody knows if anyone has it until they have been diagnosed - you need to either know the person really well, or a professional needs to do thorough tests on them. And even if you really know a person well, it can still be hard to tell. None of you people know Abz nor have done thorough tests on him. So stop assuming stuff.

Jesus christ I'm so angry at the world today regarding conditions. Can't people have a little sympathy?

I left this forum a few months ago, but I've been looking at threads without posting - I know I said I'd leave, but after seeing this thread I had to comment.

People should:
1 - Have sympathy, and
2 - Get their heads out of their arses and get on with their own lifes. If he has been diagnosed by a professional, then that's it. Don't assume the professional is wrong. Utter pretentiousness...

Cherie 28-08-2013 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by watchinittoomuch (Post 6339866)
It is extremely difficult to get the level of award you are talking about, it is usually given to families with children at the most severe ends of the spectrum, possibly non verbal, need help with mobility and may need a larger child's push chair, have other disorders and conditions that further affect their diagnosis etc.. My son has Aspergers and get's lower rate care and mobility, and at 17 years old uses it himself. I think my point is it would be almost impossible to push for an autism/aspergers diagnosis purely to claim for a car or dla, theyre not easy to get, take alot of time and require a massive amount of evidence, for the diagnosis itself, and then for the dla to be awarded after.

I also cant believe some of the comments Ive read on here that its for sympathy, or that it's cool? As a parent, let me tell you, its neither, and society is neither understanding nor forgiving enough for it to become a reason to gain votes in a reality show. Most people are unaware of what aspergers really is, why the hell would they vote for it?


I am waiting on Boomoo to come back and explain her post. It is the type of thing the Daily Mail churns out, with no basis in fact.

watchinittoomuch 28-08-2013 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 6339893)
Hey WITM!

I have a sneaking suspicion you may be right about Carol LOL...

That'll be the phd in pinot I have:joker:

qwerty8883 28-08-2013 10:13 AM

[QUOTE=Blue Cadillac;6339889]
Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty8883 (Post 6339874)
infact being on the spectrum myself i would presume that you (being an aspe) would understand the fact that people on the specturm create false personalities to deal with social situations and to manage anxiety problems

To be fair, I think a lot of non-Asperger's people are probably guilty of doing this too. For example, if going for a job interview, how many people might make themselves out to be someone/something they are not, in order to impress the interviewer? Many people suffer anxiety and stress in social situations, and I think there's a very fine line between everyday stress management with most folk, and how people with Asperger's cope with their anxiety - which is exacerbated tenfold, largely because those with Asperger's are unable to channel their emotions and anxieties in the same way.

Indeed they do but the anxiety with most people on the spectrum is quite different and very misplaced in comparison to someone who is considered normal. I presume that most people suffer from anxiety as a trait in most new social situations (due to the fact that the unknown must scare us all to some extent) However the anxiety i feel from walking out side my front door is probably (but not in all cases) ten fold as bad to that of a "normal" person.

As an example when i go into a social situation with any one person i will very carefully watch body language to gauge reactions from the person i am interacting with (quite normal i presume?). If i get even the slightest undertone that they are losing interest i will instantly change the subject matter. When this change takes places and i make my presumption based on observation, my anxiety goes from say 7/10 to 10/10 and will have a huge detrimental effect on my perceptions of how the conversation went and also weather or not i like this person due to my perception of their reaction to my conversation. I would also say that i will take my perceived knock back (which may or may not have actually been perceived by others in the same manner) in a hugely detrimental way and this will determine how i perceive them in the future. To stop this from happening over years i have learned to instead of being myself create specific persona's for specific personalities that i will come across (of course the issues arise when i start to behave as myself rather than as the persona designed to manage the anxiety in these situations)

articulating my feelings is very difficult but what i am getting at is that every social interaction for me is like say, A job interview. It doesnt matter if its with someone in a shop, the postman or an associate. Only the closest family members do not cause this problem and the Internet is another gem of a place where i do not suffer from this issue.

Now my case is probably very different from 99% of all other people who are on the autistic spectrum.

i also waffle on............:sleep::hugesmile::sleep::hugesmile: :sleep:

DanaC 28-08-2013 10:38 AM

What a fascinating insight. Thanks qwerty!

CaudleHalbard 28-08-2013 10:49 AM

I expect most of us can find a bit of mild Asperger's in ourselves, if we look hard enough! Lol! ;)

Jarvio 28-08-2013 10:55 AM

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6339925]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Cadillac (Post 6339889)

Indeed they do but the anxiety with most people on the spectrum is quite different and very misplaced in comparison to someone who is considered normal. I presume that most people suffer from anxiety as a trait in most new social situations (due to the fact that the unknown must scare us all to some extent) However the anxiety i feel from walking out side my front door is probably (but not in all cases) ten fold as bad to that of a "normal" person.

As an example when i go into a social situation with any one person i will very carefully watch body language to gauge reactions from the person i am interacting with (quite normal i presume?). If i get even the slightest undertone that they are losing interest i will instantly change the subject matter. When this change takes places and i make my presumption based on observation, my anxiety goes from say 7/10 to 10/10 and will have a huge detrimental effect on my perceptions of how the conversation went and also weather or not i like this person due to my perception of their reaction to my conversation. I would also say that i will take my perceived knock back (which may or may not have actually been perceived by others in the same manner) in a hugely detrimental way and this will determine how i perceive them in the future. To stop this from happening over years i have learned to instead of being myself create specific persona's for specific personalities that i will come across (of course the issues arise when i start to behave as myself rather than as the persona designed to manage the anxiety in these situations)

articulating my feelings is very difficult but what i am getting at is that every social interaction for me is like say, A job interview. It doesnt matter if its with someone in a shop, the postman or an associate. Only the closest family members do not cause this problem and the Internet is another gem of a place where i do not suffer from this issue.

Now my case is probably very different from 99% of all other people who are on the autistic spectrum.

i also waffle on............:sleep::hugesmile::sleep::hugesmile: :sleep:

Bolded the part that applies immensley to myself. Any knockback by a person could ruin my entire day and I spend the entire day ruminating about it until it's resolved in my own mind. It's horrible. And others around me have no idea why I'm so affected by it.

Many of the things you say relate to me. Only I don't usually try to put on a different persona (although having said that I do sometimes mask my real self with nonsensical humour). But yes, social situations are like a job interview for me also and the anxiety levels are always so high. I try to deal with it, but deep down I am always uncomfortable, and also worried that others think lowly of me.

Only thing that doesn't apply to me though is that you said you don't struggle on the internet. I do. I try to explain my posts in an explainable way but nobody seems to understand them and it winds me up. And I'm massively effected by how people on the net can be so insulting/insensitive too.

I take things to heart WAY too much, and you know what, I've even taken this thread to heart!
I also have really bad obsessional tendencies. Like, really bad. Cleaning my teeth for example takes forever as I'm unusually careful about it. I hate being the last person out of my house because that means I have to lock the door, in which I check it's locked like 20 times.
Even watching DVDs is a chore - I constantly have to rewind them because my mind trails off and I don't understand things. Putting them back in the case is horrible because I constantly have to take them out again to re-check that I've not damaged them.

ASDs are no walk in the park!

It's all so complicated. I'm basically an obsessive worryer. Having aspergers is really difficult and when I read people's posts on here saying that people are faking it etc, it makes things 10 times worse for me.

People only think that people are faking it because every case of an ASD is different.

qwerty8883 28-08-2013 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 6339950)
What a fascinating insight. Thanks qwerty!

glad i could help :spin::hugesmile::spin:

Jarvio 28-08-2013 11:14 AM

I hope I've provided some insight too - See, I'm worrying again!

qwerty8883 28-08-2013 11:19 AM

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6339980]
Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty8883 (Post 6339925)

Bolded the part that applies immensley to myself. Any knockback by a person could ruin my entire day and I spend the entire day ruminating about it. It's horrible. And others around me have no idea why I'm so affected by it.

Many of the things you say relate to me. Only I never try to put on a different persona. But yes, social situations are like a job interview for me also and the anxiety levels are always so high.

Only thing that doesn't apply to me though is that you said you don't struggle on the internet. I do. I try to explain my posts in an explainable way but nobody seems to understand them and it winds me up. And I'm massively effected by how people on the net can be so insulting/insensitive too.

It's all so complicated. I'm basically an obsessive worrier. Having aspergers is really difficult and when I read people's posts on here saying that people are faking it etc, it makes things 10 times worse for me.

Ive been on computers since the Commodore+4 which i think has helped quite considerably. I find that i can be quite aggressive in my manner online which i find regrettable (after the initial posts i make on any website) but this is just dealt with by abstention of social interaction online until i have calmed down and taken stock of my own behaviour.

The most useful thing i find is to stay away from the mainstream websites and try to find likewise people which can be done easily with a bit of research.

One of the main reasons i watch BB is not because of the "love" of the show (infact most of the people on it annoy the crap out of me) but what i consider as fascinating social interactions and body language between the groups of people. My sister is a big fan, i always give my opinion on who is being false,manipulating or passively aggressive and im usually corrected by her on what she perceives is there ACTUAL feelings and reactions (5/10 times im right.......8/10 she is correct :devil::nono::devil:)

One thing i will say is that having this condition hasnt really stopped me leading a normal life. Ive served in the Armed forces, worked for a few major companies and got on with my life but periodically the cyclic breakdown will occur and they tend to get worse as times goes on. :cloud:
Its a very useful show that has helped alot!

Marsh. 28-08-2013 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sway (Post 6339688)
Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers

Why's that? Because you declared that to be true?

Marsh. 28-08-2013 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Cadillac (Post 6339694)
Neither you, I nor anyone else frequenting this forum knows anything solid about Abz's 'medical diagnosis', and so it is supposition and speculation on all of our parts.

I never claimed to know anything about his medical condition or diagnosis. I'm merely commenting on those who seem to believe they do.

DanaC 28-08-2013 11:25 AM

You certainly did Jarvio.

I think one of the things that makes it a bit too easy for people to suggest that it is really just ordinary stuff that most of us have...is that, when reading most of the descriptions of what ASDs are like, we often see snippets to which we can relate. Many people have difficulty trusting that they have locked the door, or blown out the candles, or unplugged the iron, or whatever. We feel the need to check, for what seems like many times, but in reality may be just 2 or 3 times.

We've all experienced feeling like we have to adopt a persona in certain social situations, but though it may feel like we've played that role throughout the engagement, thinking back, we'll then find that there were also times we relaxed into the conversation and forgot to monitor what we were doing and how we were interacting.

But the scale and intensity is different. And also the critical mass of all these factors.

So people say, oh come on now, that's just shyness, by that definition I must have Aspergers, without really understanding the difference between experiencing some elements and living inside those elements.

Jarvio 28-08-2013 11:26 AM

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6340016]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jarvio (Post 6339980)

Ive been on computers since the Commodore+4 which i think has helped quite considerably. I find that i can be quite aggressive in my manner online which i find regrettable (after the initial posts i make on any website) but this is just dealt with by abstention of social interaction online until i have calmed down and taken stock of my own behaviour.

The most useful thing i find is to stay away from the mainstream websites and try to find likewise people which can be done easily with a bit of research.

One of the main reasons i watch BB is not because of the "love" of the show (infact most of the people on it annoy the crap out of me) but what i consider as fascinating social interactions and body language between the groups of people. My sister is a big fan, i always give my opinion on who is being false,manipulating or passively aggressive and im usually corrected by her on what she perceives is there ACTUAL feelings and reactions (5/10 times im right.......8/10 she is correct :devil::nono::devil:)

One thing i will say is that having this condition hasnt really stopped me leading a normal life. Ive served in the Armed forces, worked for a few major companies and got on with my life but periodically the cyclic breakdown will occur and they tend to get worse as times goes on. :cloud:
Its a very useful show that has helped alot!


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

Vanessa 28-08-2013 11:27 AM

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340031]
Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty8883 (Post 6340016)


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

Awwww! :hug:

DanaC 28-08-2013 11:29 AM

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340031]
Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty8883 (Post 6340016)


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

God, that sounds really difficult to deal with. Must be so frustrating to try your hardest at something and get negative feedback for it.

Jarvio 28-08-2013 11:30 AM

[QUOTE=Vanessa;6340033]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jarvio (Post 6340031)

Awwww! :hug:

Thankyou

I'd type the hug emoticon back, but don't know what it is

Jarvio 28-08-2013 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 6340029)
You certainly did Jarvio.

I think one of the things that makes it a bit too easy for people to suggest that it is really just ordinary stuff that most of us have...is that, when reading most of the descriptions of what ASDs are like, we often see snippets to which we can relate. Many people have difficulty trusting that they have locked the door, or blown out the candles, or unplugged the iron, or whatever. We feel the need to check, for what seems like many times, but in reality may be just 2 or 3 times.

We've all experienced feeling like we have to adopt a persona in certain social situations, but though it may feel like we've played that role throughout the engagement, thinking back, we'll then find that there were also times we relaxed into the conversation and forgot to monitor what we were doing and how we were interacting.

But the scale and intensity is different. And also the critical mass of all these factors.

So people say, oh come on now, that's just shyness, by that definition I must have Aspergers, without really understanding the difference between experiencing some elements and living inside those elements.

Glad I provided insight. And yes I can see what you're saying (although the door thing for me literally is about 20 times lol). You're precisely correct in that it's all about scale and intensity, and how much it affects us

Jarvio 28-08-2013 11:35 AM

[QUOTE=DanaC;6340036]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jarvio (Post 6340031)

God, that sounds really difficult to deal with. Must be so frustrating to try your hardest at something and get negative feedback for it.

Yeah it really is. I'm hoping that things will improve in the workplace now that I have a diagnosis. But at the same time I don't want to 'count my chickens'.

It's so hard to find a job these days, let alone the right job.


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