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-   -   Being unfaithful and cheating (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=288701)

Northern Monkey 19-09-2015 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 8153245)
If either me or my wife developed feelings for someone else we'd just be honest about it. There's no point not being, to be honest.

Also, I (both of us) think that this "emotional cheating" thing is utter bollocks, you should be able to have as many people in your life as you want who you can turn to emotionally and be emotionally close to, and whether they're male or female shouldn't matter. You only get one life... Closing yourself off to close relationships seems like a needless waste. If your partner having emotional closeness with someone else makes you feel insecure then you have problems already. In my opinion.

I agree.Me and my misses are always texting and looking at our phones.We don't ever look at or even ask about who's on the other end.

kirklancaster 19-09-2015 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed (Post 8156577)
I didn't say the hackers were doing the right thing. I just explained what they did before giving my opinion of the site and then, in another paragraph I said...

...As far as I'm concerned, people who are prepared to cheat deserve to get caught.

Its ok though Kirk, as per usual, I expected that retort ;)

So that I do not derail this thread, I will expound about 'Double Standards' on a new thread later. Though I do not expect some to agree - obviously.

lostalex 19-09-2015 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey (Post 8156568)
Have cheated on women in the past when i was younger and just did'nt care tbh.Have never and will never cheat on the woman i'm with now.I think most people have cheated when they're young like in their 20's.Some people just don't grow out of it.I have as i would never want to risk losing what i have now.

did you get caught?

Northern Monkey 19-09-2015 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 8156617)
did you get caught?

Once but i wriggled out of it,Me and my gf at the time never trusted each other again though and it only lasted a year.Was very young though.Cba with all that now.I think i probably never found anyone i felt close to until now.Been with my misses 8 years now so was 26 when i met her.Before then i was immature and just did'nt care about all them feelings n ****.It was all about getting the penis away.lol.

lostalex 19-09-2015 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey (Post 8156632)
Once but i wriggled out of it,Me and my gf at the time never trusted each other again though and it only lasted a year.Was very young though.Cba with all that now.I think i probably never found anyone i felt close to until now.Been with my misses 8 years now so was 26 when i met her.Before then i was immature and just did'nt care about all them feelings n ****.It was all about getting the penis away.lol.

well i'm glad you've improved as a partner.

It's a very arrogant and selfish thing to do to someone.

don't you worry about karma? the indian mentality would be that you will be betrayed by your partner, the universe needs justice.

Northern Monkey 19-09-2015 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 8156664)
well i'm glad you've improved as a partner.

It's a very arrogant and selfish thing to do to someone.

don't you worry about karma? the indian mentality would be that you will be betrayed by your partner, the universe needs justice.

It has happened to me twice :bawling:
I think from my experience that relationships don't work properly until people mature and get all that sex with multiple partners out of their system.Everyone i know who settled down young has had relationship problems.I did'nt properly 'settle down' until i'd had some fun and it seems to work better.Not so much curiosity.

lostalex 19-09-2015 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey (Post 8156676)
It has happened to me twice :bawling:
I think from my experience that relationships don't work properly until people mature and get all that sex with multiple partners out of their system.Everyone i know who settled down young has had relationship problems.I did'nt properly 'settle down' until i'd had some fun and it seems to work better.Not so much curiosity.

That makes sense. i was a total slut in my early 20's. I never lied about it though.

but i agree when you first discover your sexual power, you need to explore it freely.

Kizzy 19-09-2015 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 8156525)
Unregulated hackers are not the morality police. Who are they to decide to expose cheats? People don't want MI5 to have more powers but some are happy to have a faceless, unregulated group of hackers expose people's private business online? Seems like a bit of a double standard to fit an agenda to me.

If you are stupid enough to have your details on sites like that then you take the risk of them being hacked... it's the internet, it happens.
The difference there being it's your choice, the proposals that security services have everyones data is not our choice is it?
So although you've manipulated this scenario to meet your agenda it hasn't worked has it? Because the flaws are apparent.

lostalex 19-09-2015 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy (Post 8156709)
If you are stupid enough to have your details on sites like that then you take the risk of them being hacked... it's the internet, it happens.
The difference there being it's your choice, the proposals that security services have everyones data is not our choice is it?
So although you've manipulated this scenario to meet your agenda it hasn't worked has it? Because the flaws are apparent.

It's basically the same thing as the Heidi Fleiss controversy in the 90s... She refused to release the names of her clients though. That was very admirable of her.

And i love heidi fleiss, she was an awesome housemate.

the truth 19-09-2015 01:05 PM

never cheated, its a horrible thing to do, but have been cheated on once , pretty unpleasant

in the longer term you say to yourself at least I found out now, imagine id married her with kids and then discovered she was a serial cheat

the trouble often comes when people consume a lot of booze, their brains get frazzled and theyre not fully in control of their actions. if someone kisses someone in a drunken stupor and you find out about it, they use the defence sorry I was off my face on booze.....but is that really a legit defence?

lostalex 19-09-2015 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 8156746)
never cheated, its a horrible thing to do, but have been cheated on once , pretty unpleasant

in the longer term you say to yourself at least I found out now, imagine id married her with kids and then discovered she was a serial cheat

the trouble often comes when people consume a lot of booze, their brains get frazzled and theyre not fully in control of their actions. if someone kisses someone in a drunken stupor and you find out about it, they use the defence sorry I was off my face on booze.....but is that really a legit defence?

kissing is not cheating... cheating is sex.

Niamh. 19-09-2015 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 8156759)
kissing is not cheating... cheating is sex.

that's subjective

Northern Monkey 19-09-2015 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 8156858)
that's subjective

I suppose it depends on what's being kissed:laugh:

Niamh. 19-09-2015 02:14 PM

lol Northeren Monkey

but yeah I would consider a kiss cheating ( a proper kiss) obviously cheating to a lesser degree to sleeping with someone but still cheating

Livia 19-09-2015 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 8156876)
lol Northeren Monkey

but yeah I would consider a kiss cheating ( a proper kiss) obviously cheating to a lesser degree to sleeping with someone but still cheating

I'd be far more hurt by a relationship where they'd kissed and confided in each other than I would be if was just someone he'd banged.

Lostie! 19-09-2015 06:20 PM

I'd absolutely class kissing someone else (in a romantic / sexual manner) as cheating. I don't see why it wouldn't be.

DemolitionRed 19-09-2015 06:32 PM

If I ever found out that my man had, had an affair or even a one night fling, I could never trust him again and when trust has gone, so has the relationship.

Kyle 19-09-2015 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed (Post 8157683)
If I ever found out that my man had, had an affair or even a one night fling, I could never trust him again and when trust has gone, so has the relationship.

That's the thing isn't it. Maybe some people can get past it and that's up to them but surely deep down you have to wonder every single time they are somewhere else you don't know if they are up to the same old tricks.

How can you know for sure if someone is indeed truly sorry for what they have done and is it worth all the mental torture that it will put you through?

I don't envy people in long term relationships who have to make that decision, especially if there's kids and friends of the both of you involved.

user104658 20-09-2015 06:44 AM

But what if you were "on a break"

Kyle 20-09-2015 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 8159763)
But what if you were "on a break"

Shut it Ross. :fan:

kirklancaster 20-09-2015 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy (Post 8156709)
If you are stupid enough to have your details on sites like that then you take the risk of them being hacked... it's the internet, it happens.
The difference there being it's your choice, the proposals that security services have everyones data is not our choice is it?
So although you've manipulated this scenario to meet your agenda it hasn't worked has it? Because the flaws are apparent.

Cheating may be immoral but it is not illegal. Hacking, extortion and blackmail are.

By your criterion, if stupidity justifies being a victim of crime, every skimpily dressed girl in our town centres on a weekend is 'asking for it', and anyone taking a shortcut through a dark underpass on a night is asking to be robbed.

:shrug:

DemolitionRed 20-09-2015 08:50 AM

Whilst cheating isn't illegal, what it can do is destroy the life of the spouse and throw a childs life into turmoil. One of the common reasons for men committing suicide and attempting suicide is from a marriage/relationship split because men who lose their wife often have complicated access to their children.

Remaining faithful doesn't have to follow the rules of law but having an affair can devastate lives; therefore, promoting and enticing people to be unfaithful in my eyes is heinous because of the devastation that often follows.

Here's another example of action that can be deemed illegal.
You see a distressed dog in a hot car so you call 999. After a further 10-15 minutes of the police not arriving you take action into your own hands and smash a window. This could be classed as criminal damage and, potentially, you may need to be prepared to defend your actions in court. Did you do the right thing or should you only work within the arm of the law?

The question is, should this site of been allowed to continue? and should we sympathise with this site over what happened to it?

I feel that because of the sheer number of members on that site, all looking to do something that society deems immoral; it speaks volumes about how fractured our society is regarding being faithful within a relationship.

I also don't believe that these hackers thought about the consequences of their actions. The aftermath of devastation is huge because spouses not in the know are now in the know. The site itself was charging for people to delete profiles and when members got wind of what was about to happen, there was a sudden flood of people paying to get out (hmm something not quite right about this). Profiles were deleted but peoples information was stored and not deleted, so even if they weren't continuing with the site they were still outed.

Kizzy 20-09-2015 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirklancaster (Post 8159773)
Cheating may be immoral but it is not illegal. Hacking, extortion and blackmail are.

By your criterion, if stupidity justifies being a victim of crime, every skimpily dressed girl in our town centres on a weekend is 'asking for it', and anyone taking a shortcut through a dark underpass on a night is asking to be robbed.

:shrug:

Wow this debate got very dark very fast, no the two crimes are in no way similar,.there couldn't and shouldn't be any comparisons drawn.

Livia 20-09-2015 10:44 AM

So we're going with...

Unnamed illegal hackers releasing people's details on the Internet if what those people are doing breaks their particular code of ethics but doesn't necessarily break the law = Good.

MI5 want more power to do their jobs = Bad.

Kizzy 20-09-2015 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 8159950)
So we're going with...

Unnamed illegal hackers releasing people's details on the Internet if what those people are doing breaks their particular code of ethics but doesn't necessarily break the law = Good.

MI5 want more power to do their jobs = Bad.

I explained my stance on this yesterday, if that's what you're going with it seems rather simplistic... Don't forget that at the moment MI5 are illegal hackers.


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