what exactly do you want the mods to do? permaban him for having an opinion on the matter? maybe you should try and counter argue it instead if you feel he is so wrong

Well for me, I don't feel comfortable deleting people who say 'sex is a real thing, and is unchangeable'. Especially when apparently everyone agrees sex and gender are very different things? So people remain their sex, but change 'gender'. Honestly, 'sex assigned at birth' gives me images of a sinister sorting hat that is brought into the delivery room and babies are just decided on nothing, that this one is male, this one female, etc. Sex is noted. In some rare cases of intersex people this can be mistaken, but its not this totally random thing that is 'wrong' so often that some like to make out it is.

Though that will surprise noone, coming from me.

I actually find it odd that apparently, its now deemed transphobic to say sex and gender are different, that was the 'mainline' view for years and years until the last few months it seems, the view that transactivists said was 'the right one'. Basically my view is, oliver is correct in that sex cannot be changed. BUT, people can be whichever gender they chose/are.

Others can disagree, and will.

(Anticipating 'but transphobia is against the rules' responses, this is entirely true. However, saying sex is a real thing isn't transphobic. Repeatedly purposely referring to a transwoman member as he, or a transman member as she, would be deemed transphobic. Saying you believe sex is real and not some arbitrary assigned process, should not be deemed transphobic, and surely, should be able to be argued against by those who disagree, rather than hidden)

(Ontop of all this, I am aware that many still use gender to actually mean sex, which complicates things further. But generally speaking, its been accepted for a while among transactivists and such anyway, aswell as 'the enemy' radical feminists, that sex and gender are different.)

It's not transphobic, it's objectively correct :shrug: I wouldn't deliberate misgender an MTF or FTM, but factually speaking they'll always be their birst sex.
Funnily enough I'm on a similar page. Leastways, I'm an "everything but" kinda gay, aha

Fixed that for you :hehe:

So Demisexual is a step too far? :joker:

I identify as Iggysexual and it's hatespeech that you left it off :hmph:

Robosex.

I'm questioning my own sexuality lately. Well have felt this way for a while actually. I suppose I could easily have ticked asexual in the poll as opposed to heterosexual.

I mean I do have a sex life but I'd be as happy with a cup of tea and a biscuit really. And lots of cuddles. I like affection and am quite a touchy feely person..I like to demonstrate it.

I think that’s called getting on a bit Kate :tongue: sex drive lessens for most as we get older ..look at LT hanging up his boots :hehe:

Seeing as there is no multi-choice option, I went with Other; I'd consider myself a mix of the two options on top. I am heterosexual in more or less every way but may sometimes have thoughts about the same gender, however I never truly feel that way about a man in the same way I would a woman.

I went into this thread hoping bicurious to be one of the options based on what I am describing but alas :laugh:.

Does every thread these days turn into a transgender row? Have a day off

Also, fully fledged homosexual x

What happened to the love buzz hugs

I’m also on board with the cuddle thing, those ‘we went all night’ people are weird, one and done with an even 6 hours kip will do me tah

:joker: I think you are right Cherie xx

:oh:

im not paying for online dating in a flipping pandemic lockdown

it should be free at the moment

That's not an argument anybody made?

You were discussing how people LOOK and how ATTRACTIVE others may or may not find them. Now you're changing the goalposts and making yourself look silly.

Gay

Demisexual, engaged to a man.

Two spirited omnigendered Demisexual with tendencies of pansexuality

I’m not here to echo those transphobic sentiments but what makes demisexuality distinct?

She only feels sexual attraction to someone she loves I think.

Like I said I’m not the one to dismiss orientation labels but I’m struggling to see how demisexuality is a sexual orientation in and of itself. I would’ve thought it’s more akin to to a specifier that can be applied to any of the three main sexualities since straight, gay and bisexual people alike might only form sexual attachments with people they feel an emotional bond with.

:joker:

That doesn't warrant its own label. Only sleeping with someone one loves is called "not being a slut".

I’ve got to side with Ollie as far as that one’s concerned. Pansexuality’s up for debate (on the implication that a pansexual would be attracted to those intermediate/transgender identifications whereas a “purely” bisexual person wouldn’t) but demisexual’s really stretching it. I don’t think it warrants an orientation label in and of itself.

So sleeping with someone you don’t love is being a slut?

I think (from my perspective anyway) sexuality is the group or gender (or whatever) of people you’re attracted too, if you’re only attracted to someone that you form an emotional connection with then that seems valid?

Either way it doesn’t have a great deal to do with orientation per se does it.

Still doesn't need its own label.

And who do you think you are? The sexuality police?

To be fair, I think people only feeling sexual attraction to people they have gotten to know and like (i.e. sexual feelings linked to emotional intimacy rather than basic physical impulse) is probably much more common than you'd think, and I'm not personally convinced it counts as a sexuality outside of the straight/gay/bi/asexual range.

In fact I think the argument that those are the only four "basic" sexualities that exist is pretty strong. Certainly, you'll get "subsets" within those (e.g. some straight people will struggle to be attracted to trans people, some will see no distinction, indeed some will have a preference) but surely, a man who is sexually attracted to a transwoman is not "pansexual", they are still a straight man, in terms of aesthetics.

And while there may be a gamut of descriptive genders, in terms of APPEARANCE and thus attraction it is still a binary; people who are mostly attracted to masculine features, people who are mostly attracted to feminine features, and people who can be attracted to both (or neither).

The crux of it I suppose its that it's about attractiveness to others and while you get to decide who you are attracted to - you don't get a personal choice about who YOU are attractive TO... e.g. A woman can be sexually attracted to a gay man, him being gay doesn't make him not attractive to straight females.

In that sense, the concepts of gender non-binary personal identification, and the inherently binary nature of sexual attraction, isn't 100% compatible... An attractive person with feminine features who identified as gender non-binary is not only attractive to "pansexuals"... They will still be mainly attractive to "people who are attracted to females", and probably not to those attracted to males. And I don't think it's -phobic in any way to point out that, no matter what someone's personal identification is, from an objective standpoint they are going to have masculine features, feminine features, or a mix of both. There is no 3rd/4th/5th+ feature set.

Why would anyone want to discuss the way they feel about their sexuality/gender on here when this is what they’ll get

I don't see anyone doing anything other than discussing and posing questions here, if you can point out anyone who is deliberately looking to cause offense then do that?

I'd suggest otherwise that if people know this is a particularly sensitive topic for them and they simply don't want to talk about it... Then they aren't being forced to.

That's right :dance:

I'm literally not attracted to any gender or any defining characteristics, demisexuality is a type of asexuality. I am asexual in every way apart from with this one person, I have never had a crush on anyone, never thought someone was hot, nothing. I'm only able to feel anything at all with my fiancé.

:laugh2:

People are free to use whichever label they want, although I do think that some labels, like pansexuality and such aren't really different enough to be considered different to, say, bisexuality.

A lot of the things that define these 'fluid' sexualities are things that people with more static sexualities are capable of. Anyone is capable of forming a relationship based on an emotional connection, hell, you'll get plenty of straight people who may find themselves attracted to a same sex person based purely on things like that, just like you might get with a gay person and a member of the opposite sex.

There's also the murky issue with suggesting that only fluid people can be attracted to trans people which is silly and quite offensive to suggest that people with more static sexualities would somehow automatically discount trans people.

I do think that, sadly, these other labels have a habit of diminishing bisexuality by making it seem inherently less than.

Maybe that's the problem , there's too many labels these days . And some people don't like labels.

And I use to think pansexuality was about liking anyone based on their personality, then I thought it was being attracted to trans , intersex aswell as men and women.

But bisexual has always meant 2 as in attracted to both men and women, but maybe it should still apply to open people in general.

I've even heard people say "trisexual" , but surely that's still bisexual/ curious .

Some people feel that the bi label doesn't fit them well enough though, it literally doesn't affect anyone apart from the person identifying as the label they feel most drawn to. People obviously identify as pansexual because they don't feel like bisexuality fits what they are and how they feel attraction.

It took me a decade to find out there were other people like me and when I found that label I was relieved because I felt like I was the only one for all those years. I don't go around telling everyone I'm demi or put it in my social media bios or whatever, but if people ask then that's what I'm saying because I don't relate to being straight, gay or bi.

Yeah i understand , i just mean not everyone likes labels in general .
I've never heard of that term Demi , it sounds a bit similar to pans but with more of an emotional connection.

Straight...very boring I know... although I have a predilection for guys with longer hair which meant a lot of fights were picked my with fellas for us being gay...