Why does a one night stand mean you have no value for yourself? I don't think there is anything wrong with sex between two consenting adults.

And what is immoral about it for you to say they are 'dirty dogs with no sense of morals'? I don't understand that at all :conf:

"People who have one night stands are infinitely worse than prostitutes as they have no value on themselves. Just like dirty dogs with no sense or morals. Animal behavour by humans at its worst..."

I take offence at that statement. Why do I have no value for myself? Why is it immoral? What I am is a consenting adult doing something natural with another consenting adult. Please tell me, after how many dates would I be able to have sex in your uber moral world.

I have had plenty of one night stands. Does that make me worse than a prostitute?

Did I get paid for them? No.

I value myself, and I do have morals.

Why is having sex animal behaviour? It's enjoyable, and if between 2 consenting people in the privacy of their own home, why not? Sex isn't dirty.

A prostitute gets paid for having sex. There is no emotion involved. It's a job, and a necessary one imo, although under many different circumstances that I won't go into in this post.

Please explain why a one night stand is worse than prostitution.

On the animal behaviour. Yes it is. We are animals. It is natural to want sex. It is unnatural to put various moral rules to suite your beliefs.

Ha, I was going to write something to that effect...

I don't understand what is wrong with two consenting adults having sex. If you're not hurting anyone else, then surely it is nobody else's business?

I suppose we all have different backgrounds and beliefs about what is right and wrong, along with all having very different life experiences.

I really am not opposed to legalising prostitution, I do think that we should do more to protect these men and women, it is kind of being implied that it is only women who do this! Yes for a lot of them circumstance places them in this situation, however some just see it as a really easy way to earn money, espcially if they really enjoy sex. I wonder if they self assess for tax purposes though? with legality comes responsibility to pay your taxes. Can you imagine the inland revenue with the forms claiming expenses for condoms etc.. would be hilarious. I only thought of this while getting my hubby stuff ready for his business end of year! god I hate doing this, it is so stressful.

Why? Is he claiming for condoms? :joker:

I cant understand why one night stands are worst than selling your body? Its been a while, but last time I had a one night stand it wasnt dirty and it certainly didnt make me immoral. 'Doing it' as you say was fun and exciting and most importantly enjoyable. There isnt a law against it, and so long as its between 2 consulting adults why should anyone feel ashamed or immoral. We no longer live in the dark ages and you certainly dont need to be married before you have sex without shame so where is the problem?

We arent living by victorian morals these days

I've only had one one night stand and strangely it was with the mother of my daughter.

I think one night stands are just as bad if not worse than prostitution. Theres a degree of honesty to a prostitute selling sex for money; one night stands are much less honest. In fact if the man wined and dined a girl to get her into bed then he should have gone to a prostitute in the first place, it would have worked out cheaper.

If I have a one night stand it is always on that understanding. It is a one night stand. Sex. nothing more. If they were looking for more then it would not happen. It is all very honest. I am not saying nothing may come of it. I went out with a girl for around 10 years. It was a one night stand that brought us together.

I have a sex buddy. We know we can call at any time we want it. If the other person is single and wants it too then all is good. There is no lying or deceiving. Just to mates helping each other out. It works well.

How does the sex buddy work? I've heard of these and have always been intruiged. How did you meet and what is your understanding?

How did we meet? In a pub. We had a one night stand. We saw each other about. Had a chat about how the one night stand was fun and we would do it again if the moment arrived. We swapped numbers. A couple of weeks later I got a phone call asking if I wanted some fun. That's how it started. There is no pressure on the other person to oblige. If I phoned and she was not in the mood then that would be fine. As it happens we are both seeing other people at the mo and neither of us would cheat. But if we are both single and enjoy what we can give each other with no promises of anything more, and we are both happy with that then what harm is there. We are mates first and formost now. But the understanding still holds.

That sounds like the kind of thing I could do with.

What are the rules? ie. Can you simply have sex and leave as soon as you put your clothes on?

I used to have a sex buddy too..... it was a while ago.... we used to go around the same pubs etc so we used to hook up at the end of the night. No promises not fuss. But then he wanted more from me and I couldnt give it so it had to end.

I admire you Doc, if you can keep that happy medium with friend and sex buddy then I respect you because its hard to do

If you want to. That goes for both of us. She has left straight after before.

No rules, apart from respecting the other person. If they don't want to do anything or do what the other person wants then that is fine.

I think it works better in some ways as there is no emotional attachment. Of course there is no love involved. But that is not what it is about.

Incorrect. Not all one night stands come from that. I've had a couple and none of them were anything like that. It wasn't intentional in any way, it just sort of happened and neither of us went out purposely looking for one. Its nothing like visiting a prostitute. Its by two consenting adults. A prostitute might not want to have sex with someone who has "booked" her, but has to for the money. One night stands are based around mutual consent and nobody forcing the other into it.

Just sex. No strings attached, no emotions involved, none of the couple stuff like going shopping together, staying on the phone for 6 hours etc and you don't have to feel restricted from flirting or doing anything else with other people.

Some women would have sex with a man simply because he showered them with gifts and nights out. Some women actually feel its their duty to give him what he's paid so much money for. Thats very much like prostitution.

But thats not how the majority of one night stands work.

I'm sure some of them work like that. I've known guys who have had one night stands after meeting a girl and spending loads of money on her.

I was simply tryng to show how 'normal' dating acts and one nights stands are not far removed from prostitution.

"But then he wanted more from me and I couldnt give it so it had to end."

You did the right thing. It can not work if there is a hint of the other person wanting more as then it is no longer honest.

"I admire you Doc, if you can keep that happy medium with friend and sex buddy then I respect you because its hard to do "

We have not found it hard at all. I think it is because we don't really fancy each other. There is obviously a sexual attraction but nothing more. Saying that we could have a beer as mates and nothing more at any time.

I agree with everyone except Bananarama in this topic: why is it wrong to have sex for a night ? I really don't understand.
Sex is such a wonderful thing, feelings or not, it doesn't matter.

But most, not just in my circle of friends but shown through the media, do not have all of the spending money rubbish.

So you agree that wining and dining a woman for sex is much the same as prostitution?

If I was wining and dining it would be because I wanted to. Not to get sex.

I don't "agree" with the fact one night stands are worse than prostitution. However, I don't agree it's any better.

It boils down to pretty much the same thing ... having sex with a stranger. The only difference being is that prostitutes make a living out of it rather than climbing on their high horse and then pretty much doing it themselves. Neither is done out of love ... prostitutes do it for the financial gain, people who have one night stands do it for the sexual gain.

And no, I'm not calling people who have had one night stands prostitutes, I'm just saying they don't really have a right to look down on prostitutes.

Me too.

But the point is would you say that some men wine and dine for sex and some women feel they have a duty to give it up if they've been wined and dined. Thats kind of like prostitution.

Maybe. It depends on a few circumstances e.g. how long they have known eachother. But that doesn't go to say that most one night stands are worse than prostitution which is what you are implying.

I think some one night stands are as bad as prostitution but I feel its an individual choice. Personally, I think some men would be better off going to a prostitute than engaging in sex with a stranger.

I also feel the relationship in many marriages is similar to prostitution. We've all seen these older balding fat guys with their trophy wives. What do we think is going on there?

Because they are loaded which is basically prostitution with a marriage certificate.

I agree that some one night stands are just as "low" as prostitution but I don't think the majority are.

I agree with both points.

These trophy wives can never get on their high horse IMO.

I dont think the majority of one night stands are as bad but I think there is a lot of hypocricy regarding this subject. Not from you. You and others have been very frank and honest with your views - I respect that - but some people really do get on their high horse about prostitutes when at the end of the day they are indirectly paying or being paid for sex.

I've never had a one night stand!! It's just not for me - but if other people want to, why should I be bothered? I had a friend I used to go out with a lot - she used to have a lot of one night stands...it didn't make me feel any differently about her as a friend at all, but I never fancied it myself.

Dont make me laugh. Sex is great. Including casual sex. Casual sex includes one night stands. Theirs nothing at all wrong with them once their done right and safe. No value on themselves? Depends on opinion - not fact , which you seem to think you bear.

I don't have anything against prostitution, if someone wants to have sex for money, so be it. It's their choice.

A one night stand can be more honest than a lot of peoples relationships in my opinion.
People who stay in bad relationships, feel trapped in a marriage, stay with violent partners, stay for other reasons such as for children or money, not that honest really…

So as long as both people know what they want and make it clear that it's no strings, I really struggle to see how there is anything wrong with it or how it is like prostitution?!

I also don't think the majority of one night stands involve wining and dining. Usually, it'll be someone you meet in a club or bar and you're usually both ‘wined’ up by that point anyway!, unless you’re lucky enough to have someone like Dr43%er, in which case you both just make sure that’s all you want.

Again, fail to see how this is prostitution. Both people do it because they ‘want’ to and there’s no ‘payment’ involved, though I do agree with the trophy wife comment. That could easily be compared to prostitution but that’s not the same as a one night stand…

To clarify, I have not said that anyone is better than any one else. I feel there are many shades of grey. I do believe there is a great deal of hypocricy regarding sex, marriage, dating etc. To me there seem to be a lot of people who do think what they do is better but when stripped down they're no better than anyone else

Usually the ones that think they are better than everyone else are the ones saying it's wrong to have one night stands. They are the ones that put themselves up on a pedestal, when there is nothing wrong with a one night stand between two consenting adults.

But its not for plesure isit... they are being paid and i dont think its right x

But the point still stands that it is hurting nobody. Their is no victim if it is performed right , hence there is no crime. And legalisation would go a long way in helping it be performed right.

If it is performed right so I can't see the problem but by legalising it we forget all these young girls who don't want to do that and are forced so the problem remains the same.
If we legalise it then we allow, in a way, the bad prostitution buisness and all those people who make money on their girls's back, and for me it's just sick.