I doubt she would be into minatures! :hugesmile:

My girlfriend choked on my penis and died last week
It was a major blow.

The shock of seeing that it wasn't what it said on the box - was just too much I guess. Portions are simply not what they used to be! :hugesmile:

how big do you like your portions wombai?

And more importantly, how often do you get them?

"A neglected child calls childline every 8 seconds"

Little fucking shit needs a good hiding from the bill payer!!!

---

I hated paying £1.50 a minute on the phone to wank over sex stories.

So I got a job at childline.

pmsl

KFC Advert: "So this is what it's all about. Getting fresh, on-the-bone chicken. Look at that!
You could say I've learnt a lot working here.'

Yeah. Like next time, get a ****ing GCSE.

:joker:

Its not sick but oh well it made me lol

Wayne Rooney tells Coleen that John Terry shagged every England players wife/girlfriend apart from one, Coleen says "i bet it was Posh spice the stuck up cow"

I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night.

It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.

lmfao.

What do you call two black men on a videotape?

Evidence.

Well lets just say - it is common knowledge that those that talk about it all the time - don't get it! It certainly isn't me that obsesses about it!

I dont like the actual real life ones eg. Maddie, Shannon and Joseph Fritzil (that bloke makes me vomit just typing his name).

But some of them are very good and funny, I just will feel bad if i laugh at the Maddie and all of them jokes, dont think they are funny, IMO, but people have different humours.

As a father, the thought of locking my beautiful daughter up for 24 years and repeatedly raping her is the grossest abuse of trust one can imagine.

But tell that to my boner.

:joker:

Never, then.

Why don't women need a drivers license?

Because there's no road between the kitchen and bedroom.

Oh wouldn't you love to believe that! :hugesmile: Think I'll keep you guessing on that one! :hugesmile:

Our last fight was my fault.

My wife asked me, "what's on the TV?"

I said, "dust!"

Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some action.

Eager to please, I sent her my ironing. That should keep her quiet for a while.

:joker: :joker:

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the **** is she doing out of the kitchen?

Myra Hindley and a young boy walking across the moors. "Fkkn scary this is" said the lad. "Tell me about it" says Myra "I've got to walk back on my own"

Opinions are like dicks, only men should have them.

The suspense is killing me.

You know, it really pisses me off how everyone makes a big deal about Maddie Mccann disappearing when hundreds of kids go missing everyday. I don't understand what was so special about her.

She wasn't even that good of a ****.

No doubt! :hugesmile:

What type of humour do you like then, WOMBAI? Or do you not like laughing? :shrug:

What a band.

I lost my virginity last night.


I hate prison.

If Whites and blacks had a war, what would it be called?

KKK vs KFC

:laugh2:

I laugh all the time - why do you think I come on this forum! Just reading many of the posts - can be quite a good remedy for relieving stress! A good example being silly young females who seem to have forgotten what sex they are!

So basically if I were to put you in a room full of typical teenage girls in my school, you would be in hysterics?

Why have they forgotten what sex they are?

Wait, leave me guess this one ...

... because they don't hold the same views as you do?

You surely underestimate some of your classmates! Some young girls/boys can be very silly - but, come on, most are surely not that silly! :hugesmile: The giggles I have got from some on this forum - have helped me get through some of my recent assignments with my hair still intact! :hugesmile:

You'd be surprised.

Exception to the rule of course, but most are ****ing useless.

Who are you trying to kid - I'm sure even you don't really believe that! :hugesmile: